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Thats another thing. Even if I decide not to ask her out for myself, should I still go up and say something like, "hey, that guy has a girlfreind.... just thought you should know"
And yes it's only been five days, but her beauty is intoxicating and my work is stressful enough without this kind of thing going on.
No you should not do this. If this guy is your friend as you claim, tell him you are interested in the new girl at work and see if he backs off.
Wow thats a mess you're in, trust me I can relate liking the only seemingly single woman at work and every "committed" male are trying to alpha their way in.
Heh, I'm tempted to suggest giving her that note and leave out the number and watch the fireworks.
I think bad-mouthing your competition is a bad idea; makes you look like just another jerk in the pile. But I like your idea of giving her your number. Tell her to text you if she has any questions about the office or the new job. You might even offer to take her to lunch if there's someplace in the vicinity that's not too formal. Good luck!
Ok, so this is a specific situation, so, obviously I have to give you the specifics for you to be able to give me a good and informed answer. Here goes:
There is this girl that started working where I do, about five days ago. Before she came along it was pretty much exclusively a sausage fest or the women were far too old. Anyway, this girl is absolutely gorgeous, and of course it didn't take long for the dudes to flock around her, catering to her every wim. Now I'm the kinda guy that takes it slow when I am interested in someone, getting to know them, having work related convos and light conversation about other things. I don't go it real strong because I am shy and thats just me. This approach however, is going to fail miserably because there is at least one other guy that is going at her pretty aggressive, and she seems interested in him as well. When it dawned on me that she was likely more interested in him then me, Im not even going to lie, it really hurt. At first I said to myself, .....**** it, I'm out and I don't even care. Trouble is it's sort of affecting my work and my mind is constantly thinking of her throughout the day..... Nice way to pass the time, but also less productive.
Ok, so this guy, really kind of like { as a freind obviouisly } but one thing about it is..... he has a girlfreind, and is still trying to put the moves on this other girl. Doesn't care either. The girl where I work, as far as I know, doesn't know about his girlfreind. So, I devised this plan in my head. I want to go up to her, MYnumber written on a piece of paper, and say,
" that other dude has a girlfreind and all the others have wives, so if you ever want to hang with a real man who's not a douchebag, text me sometime"
Hand her the paper with my # on it, and walk away. Would YOU find this to be a display of a lot of confidence, arrogance, or just plain pathetic?
There are some problems I can see arising from this if I decide to do it:
What if she doesn't contact me? Wouldn't that make things awkward at work around her even though I don't really have to interact with her much?
She will inevitably tell the "other guy" what went down, and he will likely be angry with me..... not that I care, I only have to deal with him for about ten minutes at the end of the day
If she isn;t interested, she may find it pathetic....
I don't know, part of me wants to just throw my cards down on the table and go all in, and let whatever will be, be. At least this way I could know for sure where I stand on her interest level and be rid of the constant thinking of her either way. What do y'all think and why?
{ please don't come at me with the "never date a girl you work with thing" Go on ALL the facts I gave you. If you need to, pretend this isn't a work situation.
"i before e except after c". It's girlfriend. That hurts my eyes to read that many misspellings of the same word.
As far as your plan...yes, I would find that to be pretty pathetic and desperate. Let the gal figure things out on her own.
Why don't you be the one guy who DOESN'T try to get into her pants? At least at first. Get to know her; she may be a b***h. Or she may not care if he has a girlfriend (they are out there). Or she may not want to hook up with anyone where she works. If you can, get to know her without hitting on her. See if there is anything worth getting this worked up over.
Be friendly, like you said. She probably can't tell you guys apart yet and it's way too early for her to "date" any of you, if at all. Usually I like the smart, helpful guys who have quiet confidence. Don't let her get you worked up. Be cool and professional, but in a casual way. Pay slightly more attention to your work than to her. Women are like men in that they like a challenge.
OK, now this shows some maturity. Besides, it's not like you HAVE TO HAVE this girl, or your life will be worthless. There'll be other girls. Maybe not drop-dead gorgeous, but cute girls who like your gradual, relaxed approach. And who have a good sensible head on their shoulders. They are out there.
So you think I should wait rather than go for broke?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona
You would be what we all call a c^^kblocker.
He will not respect you and neither will she.
Its a dog eat dog world out there man, I'm not afraid of burning a few bridges that weren't held up that strongly to begin with to get what I want. As far as his respect? Sure, what I'm considering is against the "bro code" but what is the respect of a creep who would cheat on his girlfriend worth anyway?
As far as her respect? Wouldn't it be more plausible to think that she would appreciate me saving her from a cheater who'll likely cheat on her to?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbird82
No you should not do this. If this guy is your friend as you claim, tell him you are interested in the new girl at work and see if he backs off.
Oh he knows.......
That gave him motivation to REALLY turn it up a notch....
I told him I hoped his D*** fell off before I left today, in a joking manner of course.
Ok, so this guy, really kind of like { as a freind obviouisly } but one thing about it is..... he has a girlfreind, and is still trying to put the moves on this other girl. Doesn't care either. The girl where I work, as far as I know, doesn't know about his girlfreind. So, I devised this plan in my head. I want to go up to her, MYnumber written on a piece of paper, and say,
" that other dude has a girlfreind and all the others have wives, so if you ever want to hang with a real man who's not a douchebag, text me sometime"
Hand her the paper with my # on it, and walk away. Would YOU find this to be a display of a lot of confidence, arrogance, or just plain pathetic?
There are some problems I can see arising from this if I decide to do it:
What if she doesn't contact me? Wouldn't that make things awkward at work around her even though I don't really have to interact with her much?
She will inevitably tell the "other guy" what went down, and he will likely be angry with me..... not that I care, I only have to deal with him for about ten minutes at the end of the day
If she isn;t interested, she may find it pathetic....
It's EXTREMELY pathetic. Brad Pitt would get shot down with that approach. And as others have said, it's extremely lame to do that to your friend.
Invite her to lunch. Do your coworkers hang out together after work? If so, invite her to that. If she's not interested, so be it. No need to make a big deal about it.
In fact, no need to ever make a big deal about someone you don't really know yet. She could be completely wrong for you. Or she could be right for you and you could blow it by acting weird.
Guys make too big a deal about approaching/wooing a woman. Just act normal and invite her to normal-people things, not passing her weird notes.
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