Have you ever dated a snoop? (wife, hubby, family, kids)

[ms_info]

Originally Posted by Torn2pieces

I did have a roomie that was - She went through everything when I wasn't around. Needless to say - I split fast. Nothing worse then a nosey bit**.

Been there and returned the favor! They were upset but what could they say. I made it perfectly clear from the beginning don't touch anything of mine unless you want me to mess with yours. They did not listen for some reason.........

[Dennis58]

Here is an old thread of mine that might be fun to play around with a little more. There seems to be some disagreement on a current thread about snooping around on first dates!

[kaykay]

I don't think even husbands and wives should "snoop" in general. There are boundaries in marriage. But by the same token, I don't think husbands and wives (not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend) should have little pockets of secrecy from each other. I know many will probably disagree, but that's one of those "IMHO"
! and of course, there is the situation where you think your husband/wife may be hiding something you need to know (i.e. -an affair etc.) and if you think confrontation hasn't or won't yield the truth, then I would not be one to condemn a little snooping (with the caveat that this isn't borne out of paranoia if you know what I mean.)

And I have made the distinction here between husbands/wifes and girlfriend/boyfriend because I do believe that the marriage covenant commits you to a whole different level of rights/responsibilities.

[MainStreet]

Originally Posted by Dennis58

Hello everyone, I just want to hear some thoughts about this snooping around in each others things stuff. Some years ago, I dated this woman for awhile there, and she was a TRUE snoop of a person. You know how after a while, you kind of get to trusting someone enough to leave them alone at your house, while you're at work, or whatever. It took me a month or so to realize it, but I don't believe there was a single box, or other container in my house, that she didn't snoop thru. She never stole anything,(except my right to privacy), but I think that this is SO wrong. I believe that even married couples ought to be able to have a chest, or other container of some type, that is for their own private stuff only. And, I believe the persons mate should respect that, and not snoop thru it. What does everyone else think about this?

As much as I condone snooping to validate red flags about sexual deviance etc, snooping through someone boxes and containers is just wrong on so many levels and very strange.

There has to be a good reason for snooping:

example (my best friend's true story):

-Husband is never home.
-Husband's birthday, both kids each make him a cake.
-She calls him to see when he will be home for his birthday...he says 6 p.m. and doesn't show up until the next day.
-She snoops in his wallet and finds his gay bath house membership card.

The end.

Snooping just for the sake of snooping is weird.

[sad delta]

There's "good snooping" and "bad snooping"....good snooping is when a spouse is looking for evidence, and a parent is looking is evidence! Bad snooping is everything else...by everyone else!

[Reactionary]

IMO if you're married - there's no such thing as snooping because there's no expectation of privacy.

I dated a girl who was upfront about (and had a reputation for) being a snooper (yes she was a little weird but she was beautiful and fun) - so I let her clean my house (cabinets, drawers, closets, &c). No problem

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by surfergirl2007

I think it depends on the situation whether it's okay to snoop. My hubby and I met when he was struggling with trying to leave homosexuality behind. When we first moved in together, he kept a journal. One day, he left his journal out OPEN and I read it. He wrote about some fantasies he had, and when he got home from work that day, I made him move out. I have a right to know if someone is hurting me. So I do not believe I was wrong to snoop in this case.

This sounds a bit extreme....reading someone's journal is a violation of trust. Throwing them out for their "thoughts" or fantasies....??? No one would be be married or together at all if they got thrown out for having sexual fantasies!!!!

No one's thoughts can hurt you. A person's actions, choices, words, decisions....but to feel a victim because of someone's thoughts seems really misplaced to me.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by Reactionary

IMO if you're married - there's no such thing as snooping because there's no expectation of privacy.

WRONG
I expect my privacy when I'm married because
snooping = no boundaries = no respect for me = dysfunctional relationship

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by Dennis58

Hello everyone, I just want to hear some thoughts about this snooping around in each others things stuff. Some years ago, I dated this woman for awhile there, and she was a TRUE snoop of a person. You know how after a while, you kind of get to trusting someone enough to leave them alone at your house, while you're at work, or whatever. It took me a month or so to realize it, but I don't believe there was a single box, or other container in my house, that she didn't snoop thru. She never stole anything,(except my right to privacy), but I think that this is SO wrong. I believe that even married couples ought to be able to have a chest, or other container of some type, that is for their own private stuff only. And, I believe the persons mate should respect that, and not snoop thru it. What does everyone else think about this?

Yeah, I think I dated KevK once and he messed with my stereo and snooped through my mail .... Just kidding!

[2goldens]

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

WRONG
I expect my privacy when I'm married because
snooping = no boundaries = no respect for me = dysfunctional relationship

Right On!