No sex in almost six years (girlfriend, men, kid, attractive)
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I was talking about both. My point is the same for them both. People are individuals and each has a different measure of what their own life is worth. I am a guy myself and I do not measure the worth of my life by the quantity of sex I have had.
That is not the same as saying I have no interest in sex or that I do not consider it a "big deal". It just means that the value of my life - or the measures I have regarding it's value - have nothing to do with sex.
The idea that someone who has not had any or much sex are simply a "waste of a life" is just nonsense. Some people have dedicated their lives to celibacy in order to serve many and their lives were far from wasted. I myself measure the worth and value and success of my life based on the constant goal to better myself physically, mentally, emotionally and "spiritually" every day over the day before.
As I said - if sex is your measure for how successful you are or how much worth your life has then more power to you. That is fine. The issue is we should not judge others with different standards and measures as being a "waste of a life". Some people do not share your standards and ideals. They are no worse for it and in fact I would respect some of them much more than someone who sees no worth in his life than who or what he can insert his penis into.
What is the point of having a good career and lots of money if you're not getting laid at all? Seems like a waste of a life.
Dunno. One seems happy enough and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he wasn't a 55 year old virgin.
The other was mr creepy man and literally hit on anything that moved, until he happened across an equally socially inept work colleague from another department and promptly married her, causing us ALL to heave a sigh of relief. They seem very happy together.
It is a lot more normal that you think - or seemingly than people on the forum would like to let on. Some people would like to paint a picture for you where everyone around you is having sex all the time but somehow you are not. It does not work that way. It is a continuum along which some people are doing it a lot and some people not at all.
However if you feel it is getting you down then the advice I would give would be the same advice I always give to people who are trying - and failing - to get more sex or to get into a relationship. STOP trying. It can lead to you becoming desperate - or seeming desperate. It can lead you to seeing people as sex objects and potential sex outlets rather than as individuals and people. Worst of all it can come to define you. Who "you" are can become "a person trying to get sex all the time".
Instead focus on yourself and your own life. Focus on bettering yourself every way you can physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and so on. Be the person you want to be and the best version of that person you can.
You will find - as many who have followed my advice have - that things like sex and love and relationships will just fall into place themselves on your journey.
Ive known of a couple of men who sex isnt a big part of their lives. For some women its a big deal but for others who dont understand, sometimes the meds they have to take has a lot to do with it. And what about men who once were 'active' and for one reason, such as maybe an accident in their life, changed everything and they simply cant function anymore? Not everyone makes it a priority in their relationship simply because its just not as important to them anymore. One guy I used to work with many years ago was in an accident where he became paralyzed from the waist down and couldnt function anymore....but his wife stood by him anyway and never complained of the lack thereof.
I'm going to be kind to the OP and hope he uses this forum to vent anonymously and is not as whiny in real life as he is here. Six years without sex, when you are trying to connect with someone suitable IS NOT NORMAL. Feel better?
I'm not being mean but simply matter of fact. You obviously need help, but I'm not sure where you could get it. If you really are a doctor and making good money, maybe you need to seek out the assistance of a professional matchmaker/relationship coach. Do what they tell you to do.
It is not your height that is holding you back, otherwise the gene for shortness would have been bred out of us generations ago.
We're talking about guys here, not women, and for most guys, sex plays a huge role in their lives. The reason most guys even strive to have decent careers, make more money, drive a certain kind of car, and afford nice clothes is so that they can attract women...and why do they want to attract women? For sex. Sure, you'll always have guys who don't think sex is a big deal, but they aren't the norm whatsoever.
Sex plays a huge role In everyones life, not just mens lives. Females sex drive isnt any less than males nor is the pleasure derived from the act itself, in fact both may be higher. We've been socialy conditioned to believe otherwise, because a woman admitting as much or acting out on it, would be considered a ****, and we all know thats the last thing woman wants. Most women want discreet sex with ability to push the responsibility for it on a male. Ever wonder why vacation sex was so easy?
I do agree with you completely on the second part though. Men do all that and than some in order to get laid and get attraction from the opposite sex. It isnt necessarily a bad thing, because traditionaly thats what drove our civilization forward. If there were beautiful women available to each man, without him having to lift a finger, there would not be much progress made in general. However, what most fail to understand, is that men that attain these things and often spend their entire lives doing so, arent succesful with women because they have a great career, education, status, power, money etc. They are succesful with women, becasue when they finaly attain these things, THEY ALLOW themselves to behave in ways that re attractive to women. example: A woman is not attracted to a guy because he is a succesful doctor. Tehy are attracted to him, because he allows himself to act with confidence, assertivness, charm - all because HE BELIEVES that since he has attained a great career, he now DESERVES the women he has always wanted.
Last edited by Ascension2012; 07-17-2012 at 05:48 AM..
Not starting this to complain or start gender debates, but just want to post a serious question. Is it incredibly uncommon for a man in his 30s to not have sex for this long, while actively (attempted to get dates, meet people in social settings, etc) trying?
Thats the key point (in bold). Which makes it a very uncommon situation for someone your age.
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