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Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET
Because for 40 years he was a much better person than this. I mean, I have known about his sex addictions but he has been in counseling, I placed a restictive device on his computer so he couldn't view porn sites... but in the last few years he has totally lost his way. I've really dialed down our friendship.
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I understand that this has been a long term friendship and you have experiences with this man that we may never know about and as you stated he is a sex addict ( common) and he has been to therapy and has resumed his behaviors in the last 2-3 years.
You have stated that you have gone so far as placing a firewall on his pc to restrict porn sites however you haveto realize that this is a grown man and he may not want or need your advice even though he would benefit it. I feel you may feel responsible for his actions because you have accepted a responsible for him role during your friendship.
You stated that you are aware that he joined a christian dating site ( by the amount of women he has bagged he does not nor do they seem very christian)
If your concerns were there you would have intervened prior to the “widow”, you would have aforementioned his behavior long before his involvement with the “widow” You would have stated that his plans to tag and bag and use a woman to take care of him was immoral and be done with it….
However you wait until they are engaged? I get that you find this woman “prey” and she is beautiful and very nice however you could have warned her sooner right?
You stated that you do not want to see HER get hurt or used but what of the other women? Why her? Aside from the engagement?
It does not take a therapist to see that this is a mess.
This woman probably is already very invested in him and any bad talk will result in her disbelief and telling your friend and him stating the obvious “He is jealous” and for an incident to occur between you and him.
If you really need to do this? Then I would tell him how you feel and state exactly what you did here and state that if he does not have good intentions you will speak to the widow directly.
I am stating this because I do not see this working any other way, especially if the widow is vulnerable, trusts your friend and loves him…Whatever follows? Is said and done at least you got it off your chest.
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Originally Posted by sarahdeanne
It is a crime, and a form of abuse. I agree that it's strange to call the guy "best friends" though. Hopefully OP HAS voiced his disapproval to his friends face. I think the OP will tell from the way he posted, because he won't be able to get it off his mind.
More and more I am convinced it would be best to just get it out there in the light though (not anonymous or secretly). So it doesn't seem like stabbing a friend in the back and more like an intervention (maybe there are more people who know this friend that could be a part?).
His friend needs help. He could get discovered and go to jail.
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Unfortunately this is not a CRIME or form of ABUSE.
There is no crime committed yet..
Unless the widow is found to be unable to handle her own affairs, is in severe emotional distress, is mentally disabled, suffers from mental illness or a cognitive delay there is no crime or abuse that is occurring.
The only crime that may be occurring here is a moral one, taking full advantage of someone , and this happens all the time sadly, but true.
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