Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
True on both accounts but many kids would be better off being raised by one parent. Sadly, this probably had something to do with why my parents didn't split up.
I want to add this quote, which I copied and saved from someone a while back...I'll do a quick search to find the original author but it was someone from this board.
I think the sentiment definitely applies to this post...
"I believe in commitment. Probably to my detriment most of the time. But, when commitment becomes so one-sided, I wonder about the mental state of those who would stay.
When I get crap kicked in my face, and stay because I'm "committed", who becomes the fool then? I guess I could then stand on my pedestal and proclaim that I'm "committed", but I would expect to be asked "at what mental hospital?"."
I was in a marriage for 30 years, the last 20+ of which were unhappy.
I had a variety of "reasons" for staying:
* A child who I thought would be hurt if her homelife were disrupted
* I believed in marriage as an institution (I'm an atheist, so it weren't for religious reasons)
* Financial fear -- which was tied to my
* Lack of self esteem after years of being in an unhealthy relationship
Eventually I realized that I was going to die if I didn't leave, and did. A friend said all my reasons for staying were "excuses" and not "reasons." that pretty much was the nudge I needed to make a break.
I don't regret leaving, I DO regret waiting so long to leave. I'm sure that my daughter and I would have a better relationship today as she never witnessed anything but poor interactions between her mother and I.
-I was scared to be alone (I can admit this)
-I was hoping I *could* change him (dumb, I know)
-Getting divorced would mean that I failed. My goodness, I did not want to fail
-I was scared I'd end up homeless (didn't happen)
We eventually parted ways and my only regret is that I didn't leave sooner. Ah well.
Fear. People may bury it in a ton of other excuses, but fear is what it boils down to.
Fear of what, though? What is there to fear after a divorce? You simply go back to the way you were living before you were married, and for most people, they probably lived that way for at least 25 years.
Fear of what, though? What is there to fear after a divorce? You simply go back to the way you were living before you were married, and for most people, they probably lived that way for at least 25 years.
Fear of living alone/being alone, fear of being ruined financially, fear of hurting the kids/altering their life in a negative manner, fear of making the wrong choice and not being able to hit rewind, fear of being the "sheethead" that up and left...because there is always someone that will look down on you for it...etc.
There are lots of reasons to fear getting divorced. For those that were married young, there was no "before"...at least not for a long period of time. Some people don't know how to live alone and fear having to do that.
Because it may be at least partly your own fault which means until you work on your issues any future marriage or relationship will be crappy too. Might as well see if you can get help and maybe your partner will to (it happens)
Why do people stay with a deadbeat?
Because deadbeats actually work very hard... convincing people to stick around and support them!
Because it may be at least partly your own fault which means until you work on your issues any future marriage or relationship will be crappy too. Might as well see if you can get help and maybe your partner will to (it happens)
Why do people stay with a deadbeat?
Because deadbeats actually work very hard... convincing people to stick around and support them!
Yes, many women have done an excellent job of convincing their spouses to stick around and support them.
Yes, many women have done an excellent job of convincing their spouses to stick around and support them.
good grief
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
