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Ok, for the past two weeks my uncle has talked about this girl that lives beside him. He claims shes pretty, hard-working, shes going to school and has a part-time job. He says that he has talked to her about me as well and she wants to meet me. He says that we would be perfect for each other since we both like to save money.
Anyway, what I'm concerned about is our age difference. I'm 26 and she's only 19. I almost feel like a pervert just thinking about the idea even though she is of age. Another thing is we are at two different points in life. She's going to school and I have a career. I also moved back home last year due to my dad going through surgery due to cancer. Now, I'm staying with him to help him financially so I don't even have a place of my own anymore.
Can I have some of your opinions on this? I just don't know. I also haven't dated in 3-4 years.
OP, you don't want a 19 year old for a serious relationship, but you should try to hookup with her if you can. Maybe even turn it into a friends with benefits type of thing.
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Originally Posted by pentatonic
Ok, for the past two weeks my uncle has talked about this girl that lives beside him. He claims shes pretty, hard-working, shes going to school and has a part-time job. He says that he has talked to her about me as well and she wants to meet me. He says that we would be perfect for each other since we both like to save money.
Anyway, what I'm concerned about is our age difference. I'm 26 and she's only 19. I almost feel like a pervert just thinking about the idea even though she is of age. Another thing is we are at two different points in life. She's going to school and I have a career. I also moved back home last year due to my dad going through surgery due to cancer. Now, I'm staying with him to help him financially so I don't even have a place of my own anymore.
Can I have some of your opinions on this? I just don't know. I also haven't dated in 3-4 years.
To your uncle, a seven year age gap is nothing. He's old enough to have forgotten how much he changed between 19 and 26.
Also, to your uncle, anything with youth and smooth skin is a 10. She may not be a total knockout, but she probably isn't hard to look at.
I would call the girl to talk to her, she may be just as skeeved out about this as you are. If the conversation is easy, you should go out for a lunch date. If the lunch date goes well, go see a movie. Take it from there. Always make loose plans and have an idea about what you will do if the date is going better than you expected, but ALSO have an idea about what you will do if the date is a total failure.
Meeting people is important and the ability to be confident and comfortable when meeting new people (particularly when there is a contrived or forced undertone) is as much skill as talent. This will be good practice if nothing else.
My personal rule is my age/2 +7. That's my minimum. I'm not saying the OP would be wrong in doing it but everyone has their own age difference that they are comfortable with.
Why do people set mathematical rules for their lives and live accoridng to this nonsense. What if you met a great person that was your age/2 +6? Would just have to pass on that, wouldnt ya?
Yep!! I don't see what it could hurt to go have lunch or something casual. If you like her enough to continue casual meetings, why not? You don't have to think in permanent terms: you're just meeting her and hopefully having a nice convo with a cute girl. You both know this isn't forever.
If it turns out you don't like her well enough, then say thanks and continue on. Please don't stress over this...and if you can't get past the age, tell your uncle you don't want to go. You don't need excuses. You'll be fine...stop worrying!
I agree with Shell and Sasquatch. Don't over-think it; just go on a casual date and enjoy yourself. You sound like an honorable and respectful man, and you need not worry about coming across as a perv. Good luck!
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Why do people set mathematical rules for their lives and live accoridng to this nonsense. What if you met a great person that was your age/2 +6? Would just have to pass on that, wouldnt ya?
Yep because there are nearly 7 billion people on earth and how many are them are female. I'm sure there are at least 2 great women with in a 50 mile radius of me who fit my age requirements. Just because they are half decent people doesn't mean they are great for me.
Yep because there are nearly 7 billion people on earth and how many are them are female. I'm sure there are at least 2 great women with in a 50 mile radius of me who fit my age requirements. Just because they are half decent people doesn't mean they are great for me.
Im not trying to question how you choose to live your life, but i am so far opposite to that, that it just makes me wonder, what makes one willing to restrict themselves so much based on a mathematical formula, pulled out of thin air most likely. Its like saying, i will only date women that live 108 steps from my house, but not a step further. Its just hard for me to understand is all. How did you come up with this type of formula, if i may ask?
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