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The only way a girl will ever go out with me is if she is willing to lower her standards by a lot. Do any women ever do this?
You may think it's a women's standard that's preventing you from getting a woman, but in fact it's your own standard that stops you.
Women are...interesting creatures; they seem to sense that stuff a mile away. If your in that mindset of saying, "I'll never be good enough", they can read that like you stamped it on your own forehead.
Change the way you think.
"The only way a girl will ever go out with me is if I go out and get her..." (I couldn't think of anything positive to go in this line). This will be a good start for a lot of unsure, pessimistic guys out there, (like myself).
You may think it's a women's standard that's preventing you from getting a woman, but in fact it's your own standard that stops you.
Women are...interesting creatures; they seem to sense that stuff a mile away. If your in that mindset of saying, "I'll never be good enough", they can read that like you stamped it on your own forehead.
Change the way you think.
"The only way a girl will ever go out with me is if I go out and get her..." (I couldn't think of anything positive to go in this line). This will be a good start for a lot of unsure, pessimistic guys out there, (like myself).
This. Guys who give off the "I'm not good enough" vibe send me running.
1) I don't want to be put on a pedestal.
2) The attitude creates a sucking vacuum of self-doubt, leaving it to the person's partner to fill it. Sorry - I'm not interested. It's EXHAUSTING when you are continually filling in the holes in someone's self-esteem. Dating you folks is just too much work.
3) If you don't like you, why should I?
I don't really ever lower my standards. I don't think I'm overly picky though. I've had a few experiences meeting people who do things I think are not in line with my values (for instance, being huge flakes and not even acknowledging or apologizing for it)....a HUGE pet peeve of mine. In that respect I don't lower my standards - people like that aren't worth my time and I move on!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
This. Guys who give off the "I'm not good enough" vibe send me running.
1) I don't want to be put on a pedestal.
2) The attitude creates a sucking vacuum of self-doubt, leaving it to the person's partner to fill it. Sorry - I'm not interested. It's EXHAUSTING when you are continually filling in the holes in someone's self-esteem. Dating you folks is just too much work.
3) If you don't like you, why should I?
I have to sympathize with this situation a bit. I was in a hard spot for a while (had a lot of chaotic things going on in my life), and when I went on a date once the guy asked a casual question about my work and what not that opened a whole can of worms. In retrospect, probably made me seem negative and like I had a lot of self-doubt (mainly because of my last job-it was a really bad work environment, very bad experience for me). Looking back I understand why that could have rubbed him the wrong way, but I think people can be a little more understanding. Not everything is candy and lollipops and rainbows. But maybe I am a little more empathetic and tolerant to that kind of thing than most people. (And regardless, that didn't justify the way he led me on then blew me off! But that's another story...)
I have to, or I won't be able to get a date EVER online. NONE of the guys I met there met my standard especially physically. And I'm a face person meaning if I like your face I dont care about anything else about u even if you're overweight but not obese.
I know I'm not everyone's cup-of-tea and you probably aren't either.
I'm sorry; when I read this line for some reason I glanced over and saw your status line and immediately began laughing out loud so hard I got coffee up my nose!
This. Guys who give off the "I'm not good enough" vibe send me running.
1) I don't want to be put on a pedestal.
2) The attitude creates a sucking vacuum of self-doubt, leaving it to the person's partner to fill it. Sorry - I'm not interested. It's EXHAUSTING when you are continually filling in the holes in someone's self-esteem. Dating you folks is just too much work. 3) If you don't like you, why should I?
^^^^
This bolded part is KEY. Explaining it so that they listen.... aaah, futility!
some will lower their standards but I don't consider not having a job/not looking for one, not being able to act/speak properly, etc. things that should be expected to be compromised. Sorry (not really). Um, from what I seen men will not lower their standards for women anyways. A woman might not like a guy right away but then then get to know him and he's funny whatever and all of a sudden she likes him. That would never happen with a man they either like your looks or whatever from the jump or they don't.
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