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I will say this, since 1996, any time that I didn't talk to a female before out first meet the night before, there was never a DATE
And that has never changed in 16 years.
Maybe her father has just become ill this week.
Don't you think you're a bit paranoid? She texted you. It was late. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she thought a text was less of an imposition than a phone call after 11pm.
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Interest shown leading up to the date? Now I have a date scheduled tomorrow with this girl and the last time we talked was Tuesday. I called last night and she didn't pick up and so far I heard nothing tonight. Now since I;m expected to pay am I supposed to reach her to out again when she didn't pick up the last call?
I mean if I;m going to spend money on someone shouldn't I feel that she is looking for to meeting me rather than just going out because it's just something to do?
I will not call or text her tomorrow if I hear nothing tonight. I;m already in the process of making other plans.
Guys what do you think of this?
Well being that my ticker states you posted this yesterday and it was Thursday? 2 Days of no contact and you are thinking about interest and having to pay? And questioning her motives for agreeing to meet you simply for something to do?
2 days of no contact is no need for panic. You both are adults and both have lives. You both have not met yet for pete's sake and already you are thinking the worst? While I will state that there are some women out there who are shady and flaky this does not represent all women as a whole.
Worst scenario? You both do not meet and you have extra money...geez
Another point is if you asked her out? To dinner? Instead of coffee or an ice tea lemonade at the local starbucks? That is on you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
Because I want to feel like someone is not going out with me just to get DINNER. And that's what it will look like if I all of a sudden get a call tomorrow after not communicating with me since Tuesday. If I get a text then I will definitely delete it and do something else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
Thank You. I was the last one who called and the one expected to pay so it's no way I going on a date if I hear nothing from her before I go to sleep
Sense of entitlement written all over this post. Okay you were the last one to call, you cannot base your life and intentions and the way you are unto her. a DATE WAS set for Thursday and whether or not she shows up is the question however since a date was set a call or text the day of the date would be satisfactory just to confirm. How much do you expect her to be sold on you? You barely spoke and she has never met you.
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Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
No I was not looking for a reason because i already put the money aside for tomorrow and picked out what i was wearing 2 days ago. So I was definitely looking forward to it.
These facts are not her fault. These things you did was your personal choice. You were looking forward to the date? Great. You set the money aside in advance? Smart. Chose your outfit 2 days ago? A little weird, it tells me as a woman that you are desperate and trying to hard.Be you, choose what you are goling to wear the day of based on your mood. It is the first meeting there should be no huge expectations.
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Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
she just sent a text apologizing for not being able to call but it's been a crazy week and her dad is sick and not doing very well............"obvious lie"
Well time to get my back up plan together for tomorrow
You cannot discount what she stated as a lie, why should she lie? In order to get a free mediocre meal that could possibly be awkward and she would not even be allowed to enjoy the meal under these circumstances. This girl is better than me! I would not feel entitled to state anything was wrong with my family this is a personal issue that I would only share with GOOD friends and fambam! It is a nice gesture that she stated what the issue was she could have stated many other lies. Seems to me that you are setting her up for failure as well as judging her by whatever other experience you have either had or one that you have seen. Either way this is bad business because everyone is different.
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Originally Posted by UnexpectedError
Wow. This is a FIRST date. Go ahead with your backup plans, you'll be doing her a favor.
Agreed..
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Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
From this point on I;m scheduling two females for the same day and depending on how things go the night before i will break a date with one of them
Good luck with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
No just a 30 min convo about tomorrow
BTW: I heard nothing about a sick father until now and been talking to her for almost 3 weeks
Again she DOES NOT REALLY KNOW YOU..There is talking, the get to know the basics about someone, however there has never been a formal meeting, I would not divulge any personal info regarding the health of my parents, family and so forth. You are asking and expecting too much, really?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
Interesting. How much interest is a woman supposed to show in a man she has never met? I have a job, interests, and things I do...I hardly even look at my cell phone. I need a man who is also busy...not one sitting around waiting for me to call. If a man wants to talk to me...he should call. But don't "expect" me to call, and be annoyed I don't call, because..news flash...I am not a mind reader.
Bravo..I believe the term is dubbed a "needy personality"
As adults we each have separate lives with duties and expectations whether it is our demanding job, children, family and so forth. I do not strap my cell phone to my side also and I am a professional, a mother and a daughter and sister. If you have previous security issues and if I have not even met you yet and you even sound the least bit needy? I am running the other way.
There is a term actually..egocentric.. I called you and you and you did not answer and waited to reply the day after? Um I do not know you, for all you know? My kid was sick, he had a huge project that he needed help with and I did not get off till 7 that night and spent 3 hours on and I still need to work so that means I am dragging ass the next day, do not expect anything from me if you have not met me and even after until you really get to know me and what my life is about and do not speak on my good name by making assumptions, last time I heard I do alot and am needed at ten places at one time and we have not even met yet. DO not expect to be a part of my life until you at least meet me..wow!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy
And don't get annoyed when he is not available when you call
Umm I do not know about other women but if a man does not contact me? I do not contact them or bug them or expect a call back. I do not schedule my life around them because I have a busy life of my own.,if the guy talked to me two days prior but has not contacted me? As a woman I am going to think maybe he is busy ,much as I am or maybe he may not be interested but I do not base my life on this, I do not plan my outfits ect. If he calls me that day to set the official time? Great, if he does not and flakes? That is the last time I will respond to his texts or calls and I am moving on. No need to plan 2 dates There is nothing wrong with makng adjustments at the last minute,
I will say this, since 1996, any time that I didn't talk to a female before out first meet the night before, there was never a DATE
And that has never changed in 16 years.
Cancel it, don't go. I wouldn't set up a dinner date with someone I hardly know anyway. We'd have to talk and get to know each other first before I go spending money on her. She might not even be someone I want to date. Always screen them out by talking on the phone or meet them casually for a drink somewhere before making dinner plans. If she shows lack of interest in making time to get to know you first then skip her.
Because I want to feel like someone is not going out with me just to get DINNER. And that's what it will look like if I all of a sudden get a call tomorrow after not communicating with me since Tuesday. If I get a text then I will definitely delete it and do something else.
I recently dated 2 women that displayed a similiar pattern. If I didn't text or call them, they wouldn't text or call me. But if I invited them out, they would meet up with me and we would have a good time. But then again, same thing. If I didn't contact them, they wouldn't contact me. One of them admitted to being too busy for dating, and we left it at that. We are now friends. Even though I haven't seen her since our last "date".
The other woman and I had a third date planned for a Sunday afternoon a few weeks back. We were to make contact on saturday for official plans, due to things like weather and so on. I was hoping to do something spontaneous and fun. I never heard from her. I texted her on sunday basically saying "hi, looks like we won't be getting together today." she responded, "yea, the weekend went by fast for me." I then decided this woman wasn't showing me interest, and since she didn't even care to contact me on saturday for planning for sunday, I wished her well and said my good bye.
For me, I have run into some people that have no problem meeting up for dinner, and then they don't care to contact me to express interest in ME. That is why from now on, my dates with new women will be much more casual, and cost me much less money. At this point, I want to know that the woman is interested in ME, not the free to them, good tasting, expensive to me, meal they are getting.
Unless of course I am dieing for a steak or some really good italain, then whoever I am seeing at that point gets a treat. But that decision to do the expensive dinner is FOR ME, not because I am trying to entertain or impress my date.
There's no way in hell you could ever line up 2 dates for the same night. It takes you YEARS to get one little nibble for one date in a matter of months.
You made a date and talked on Tuesday, called to confirm and talk on Thursday, and she still hasn't called or reached out by Friday ? Don't worry about who is paying what at this point, it sounds as though YOU are getting the old, "BLOW HIM OFF". lol! Unless she was super busy, and called and you haven't updated ...
Games are for children. If you called, left a message, than she certainly should have the respect to return your call. I can't stand it when I hear women say, "I'm going to make him call a few times before talking to him". If that's the game, move on.
It's Saturday, if you haven't heard from her, I'd tell her, "I called you Tuesday, and it's now Saturday, I made other plans -". What does she expect, you to sit home by the phone waiting ???
I'm not interested in having long get-to-know-you conversations before a date. That's what the date is for, that's why they call it a first date. a single text the day before the date to confirm plans would have sufficed.
I dated a guy briefly who told me he got concerned when I didn't call him between our first informal lunch meetup on a Tuesday and our official date on Friday. I should have known right then, he was weirdly obsessive after knowing me for less than a week.
I agree! That's just too much communication during the early stages. A text that says see you tomorrow is enough.
The other woman and I had a third date planned for a Sunday afternoon a few weeks back. We were to make contact on saturday for official plans, due to things like weather and so on. I was hoping to do something spontaneous and fun. I never heard from her. I texted her on sunday basically saying "hi, looks like we won't be getting together today." she responded, "yea, the weekend went by fast for me."
I have friends that do this..."let's get together on Thurs at such and such a place and have drinks" and then Thurs comes and they flake out. That drives me batty. I could have made other plans or I could have accepted another invitation to another event, I could have made a nice dinner at home or planned my run for that evening instead of getting up early to do it...etc.
If I make plans with someone, I keep them, even if I have to shift other things around to get there. I assume that they made time in their schedule for me and I respect that they live busy lives too. I don't think I've ever cancelled on someone for frivilous reasons like "it was a busy day, I'm tired".
BTW: I heard nothing about a sick father until now and been talking to her for almost 3 weeks
30 minutes? What the heck?
And she didn't tell you about her sick father after first meeting you? Shocker! I don't talk about any of my struggles until after I have known you long enough to feel comfortable.
Sheesh. Is she supposed to be your BFF before the first date?
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