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I had a string of horrible situations in my 20s and gave up dating for years while I concentrated on school (college and grad)and then my career. I then started doing online dating to no great success at all (a few very short lived situations and most others were dates). That is until I reconnected with an old friend. I originally met him when I was going through a messy breakup and at the time he was fine with being friends. We stayed friends for a few years but lost touch as time went on. I found him via Facebook, we briefly dated but then he said he didn't want a relationship. Stupidly I thought if I gave him space he would eventually come back and he never did and I was devastated. It took me more time to get over him than the time we dated. At that time I vowed no more relationships and didn't date for a year or so. However I did put a profile on Plenty Of Fish but no one good contacted me (mostly dads which I don't date). I decided this year I would search out my future husband so I tried a paid site. I met a really great guy but he lives 5 hours away and is 10 years younger. We chat via email and when he comes here (he comes for business every few months)we hang out at the mall. Other guys around my age were seeking much younger women and I was getting contacted by men older than my dad (ew gross). My membership expired and I didn't renew. I started a new profile on POF (my last one was deleted) and met one guy around my age who seemed cool but he said he felt no chemistry.
Anyway, I met a guy in June and still at the "does he like me or not" stage. He fits what I am seeking in a mate (oddly so did my last ex)and most of the guys I met online didn't. I have no way of knowing whether he's interested (I suspect he is but I'm not 100% sure)but this time have vowed that this is it. I can't go through another heartbreak like I did before. This has been my pattern of having guys not like me but guys like me I have zero interest in. I'm not ugly at all, so why this always happened no idea. Love is supposed to be wonderful not hurtful and I'd rather be alone than go through it again.
I had a string of horrible situations in my 20s and gave up dating for years while I concentrated on school (college and grad)and then my career. I then started doing online dating to no great success at all (a few very short lived situations and most others were dates). That is until I reconnected with an old friend. I originally met him when I was going through a messy breakup and at the time he was fine with being friends. We stayed friends for a few years but lost touch as time went on. I found him via Facebook, we briefly dated but then he said he didn't want a relationship. Stupidly I thought if I gave him space he would eventually come back and he never did and I was devastated. It took me more time to get over him than the time we dated. At that time I vowed no more relationships and didn't date for a year or so. However I did put a profile on Plenty Of Fish but no one good contacted me (mostly dads which I don't date). I decided this year I would search out my future husband so I tried a paid site. I met a really great guy but he lives 5 hours away and is 10 years younger. We chat via email and when he comes here (he comes for business every few months)we hang out at the mall. Other guys around my age were seeking much younger women and I was getting contacted by men older than my dad (ew gross). My membership expired and I didn't renew. I started a new profile on POF (my last one was deleted) and met one guy around my age who seemed cool but he said he felt no chemistry.
Anyway, I met a guy in June and still at the "does he like me or not" stage. He fits what I am seeking in a mate (oddly so did my last ex)and most of the guys I met online didn't. I have no way of knowing whether he's interested (I suspect he is but I'm not 100% sure)but this time have vowed that this is it. I can't go through another heartbreak like I did before. This has been my pattern of having guys not like me but guys like me I have zero interest in. I'm not ugly at all, so why this always happened no idea. Love is supposed to be wonderful not hurtful and I'd rather be alone than go through it again.
Did anyone else ever decide never again?
Let me make a suggestion, which I sincerely hope you will take to heart.
Make an appt with a life coach or a therapist.
You could really benefit from some professional guidance to get your love life on track.
In addition, you need to learn and fine tune some better coping skills for the disappointments that inevitably come our way when we are dating.
There is just no reason to let the heartbreak of one romance render you so incapacitated!
Seriously, get some help understanding what patterns you need to break and how to break them - it will expedite the whole love thing for you
No, I just feel that some people aren't meant to be with a someone special and maybe I am one of those. I'm hoping this guy likes me but if not I am fine being alone the rest of my life. People tell me to lower my standards but I refuse to do that because I know what I can handle and what I can't so I avoid those situations that cause me grief. The disappointments I have encountered have been a problem since I was a teen and while then I know it had to do with looks now it's other things. As for the husband that is the reason I was dating. No, I don't tell me that on the first date but when sex comes up I tell them that won't be happening until marriage or maybe engagement (I am very religious).
No, I just feel that some people aren't meant to be with a someone special and maybe I am one of those. I'm hoping this guy likes me but if not I am fine being alone the rest of my life. People tell me to lower my standards but I refuse to do that because I know what I can handle and what I can't so I avoid those situations that cause me grief. The disappointments I have encountered have been a problem since I was a teen and while then I know it had to do with looks now it's other things. As for the husband that is the reason I was dating. No, I don't tell me that on the first date but when sex comes up I tell them that won't be happening until marriage or maybe engagement (I am very religious).
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