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I personally do not believe in love. I believe in respect, passion, lust, companionship, compromise, communication; all of this is built over time, and it makes a relationship stronger. Some might say that all of that combined is the definition of love, so if all of this is love, and it takes time to get to that point, how can love at first sight exist?
yout thoughts?
Actually, it's chemistry at first sight - love takes longer to grow But that chemistry is the precursor to love!
And "not believing in love" is like saying you don't believe in the sunrise every morning - kind of silly when the evidence of it tans your face every day!
I didnt think "Wow! I want to f*ck the sh*t out of him" the first time I saw him. I've had that reaction to a guy before-that's lust. Its more of a "Wow! I have to get to know this guy immediately-someone introduce me".
Funny, that was my exact thought when I met my wife 20 years ago.
A lot of things across time. I can tell you for a fact the connection I had for my now husband was not merely lust. Lust does not cause your heart to race every time you think of someone and scheme how you are going to see them when there is no way. Lust does not make you visit every weekend and wake up at 3:00 in the morning because you had to stay as long as you could.
I don't really believe in love at first sight. It's just attraction, and if it develops into something deeper, you were just really really lucky.
With my favorite ex, we corresponded via the dating site for a month before we met. It was in the early days of online dating, so we weren't exactly sure how to do things the "right way." Then we spoke on the phone for a couple of weeks. Then we met. He opened his door and we both just stared at each for a few minutes. I remember thinking "Oh! This." Honestly, he wasn't even looking that great, lol, but everything felt so electric in that moment. But it wasn't love at first sight - it was just the confirmation of an attraction we had been building since we first started writing to each other.
A lot of things across time. I can tell you for a fact the connection I had for my now husband was not merely lust. Lust does not cause your heart to race every time you think of someone and scheme how you are going to see them when there is no way. Lust does not make you visit every weekend and wake up at 3:00 in the morning because you had to stay as long as you could.
Yes it does. If you are a men. All the dumb, dangerous things I did for women in my life. Of course, women rationalize lust and call it love while guys are much more honest and call it lust.
In our case however lust can be so overwhelming that we fall in love. It's just a matter of semantics.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebel12
Yes it does. If you are a men. All the dumb, dangerous things I did for women in my life. Of course, women rationalize lust and call it love while guys are much more honest and call it lust.
In our case however lust can be so overwhelming that we fall in love. It's just a matter of semantics.
A lot of women supposedly often can't separate love and lust. Some seem to be able to, though.
It doesn't really happen, its more like "wow I'd give my left leg to bone her" but then you talk to her then really like her, then fall in love. That's not really love at first sight, more a sequence of events that coincidentally occurred because you lucked out. Way more times you have an intense lust but nothing will really come of it.
Sees the other person as perfect
Wants to get own needs met; selfish
Spends all time with the other person
Quickly “falls” for the other person
Other relationships and friendships deteriorate
Dependence on the other person causes jealousy frequently
Lasts for a short period of time
Distance strains and often puts an end to the relationship
Quarrels are serious and common
Quarrels can seriously damage the relationship
Love
Sees the other person’s flaws and still loves them
Wants to serve the other person; selfless
Still spends time with others
Takes time to build the relationship
Other relationships and friendships grow stronger
Trust and understanding results in less severe and less frequent jealousy
Encompasses a long-term commitment
Survives and sometimes is strengthened because of distance
Quarrels are less serious and less often
Quarrels can strengthen the relationship
Infatuation can be so tempting. But the question is, do I want a lasting, satisfying relationship? If so, infatuation isn’t the answer. Look at your relationships through the grid above. Infatuation isn’t a bad thing, as long as we don’t base a relationship on it.
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But that chemistry is the precursor to love!
