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Skel's advice made me recall something I hadn't thought of in years.
I pulled a silly stunt for one of my gay guy friends trying to help him figure out if another guy we knew was gay. One time I approached a guy who lived in our coed dorm (I'm female) and started a conversation and told him my friend and I were playing a game which involved watching people watching people. So I told him I noticed he mostly looked at guys, so I was wondering, not to be invasive, but just out of curiosity (and all this other preamble), if he was gay. I told him it was just part of this correlation bet we had going and blah blah blah. In hindsight, he probably thought I liked him, but I'd do all kinds of ridiculous things that my friends weren't willing to do. See, if I were in your shoes, I'd just have a conversation about it with him. That's because I've never had a negative reaction to anyone being gay and I'd have no problem with someone asking me if I were gay. And so I project.
I'd hate for it to get awkward between the two of you if your friend isn't comfortable with it. However, if he is your friend and you can be his friend even if he knows and doesn't reciprocate, then there should be no problems. If he finds out who you are and hates you for it, he's not much of a friend. One caveat, however: if you are emotionally unprepared to handle a romantic or human rejection, do not talk to him about it directly. This is sensitive and, while I would truly, deeply want you to be comfortable enough with who you are to shout it to the world, your emotional well-being is absolutely the most important thing.
I wouldn't...too much to lose...but that's just me.
I actually think that one of the best ways a gay young person can deal is to hang out with some older gay people. I personally know a closeted gay who does this...he's very young and sensitive about disappointing his parents, so he pretty much lives a double life.
Works for him. The older ones are giving him the loving he needs, and showing him the ropes as it were (literally lol), but it's safe for him. There's clubs and pubs they hang out at too, so once you know a couple of people you're in the 'scene' and no longer a floundering novice as you seem to be.
At a later stage you can take him with you to a pub, see how he reacts...if he's uncomfortable you can leave and your question's answered.
I will add this; Your Gaydar must be stunted or broken, most Gay or Straight men can pick another Gay man if they spend a little time with them, since ya'll have been spending a lot of time together, you should KNOW by now.
These guys that talk about being hit on by a Gay were putting out Gay vibes, or are latent Homosexuals themselves.
These guys that talk about being hit on by a Gay were putting out Gay vibes, or are latent Homosexuals themselves.
So off topic, but you are so wrong. I have been hit on by women and my fiancee has been hit on by men more often than I've been hit on by women. And I have past bfs who were hit on by men and female friends who were hit on by women. All of the people to whom I refer are long-term straights. The fact is we have a very gender stratified and highly codified society and if you don't acquiesce to the proper gestures from the proper column, you can be misread. Personally, I find the attention flattering and I'm glad everyone is comfortable enough to share their feelings/desires. But, my dear, we weren't givin' off dem dar gay vabs or being wonadem dar closet gays.
I'm not sure I'd go there if I were you. At least not while you're roommates. I'm surprised you can't get any kind of vibe from him on it. He may not have quite figured it out himself yet, and if you push the issue by asking him out right, you may end up pushing him away and make your living situation really uncomfortable. I'd honestly pursue other options right now until you can get a better handle on if he really is gay or not. And even if he is gay he may just think of you as a good friend.
So off topic, but you are so wrong. I have been hit on by women and my fiancee has been hit on by men more often than I've been hit on by women. And I have past bfs who were hit on by men and female friends who were hit on by women. All of the people to whom I refer are long-term straights. The fact is we have a very gender stratified and highly codified society and if you don't acquiesce to the proper gestures from the proper column, you can be misread. Personally, I find the attention flattering and I'm glad everyone is comfortable enough to share their feelings/desires. But, my dear, we weren't givin' off dem dar gay vabs or being wonadem dar closet gays.
Okay lets add MOST to that. Next time ya'll go out, maybe you should be the one to wear the dress.
Having a bad sexual experience doesn't mean anything orientation wise. It could just mean it was a bad sexual experience.
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