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No, it was me who declined his marriage proposal a bit more than 2 years ago (we were dating for 10 months). Within about 2-3 months later, he walked out the door, went into his car and left.
Haven't heard from him ever since. It really sucks that just because I declined it, he thought I didn't love him enough and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I just wasn't ready then and it wasn't even discussed in advance. I didn't want the relationship to end.
Truth be told if we had dated longer, like at 2-3 years and he had asked me again the answer would have been a yes. But no, to him when he heard a decline that was it for him and he became distant afterwards. To him, it was like an ''all or nothing'' and he wanted an answer that day. In addition, he was only 23 years old then.
I still think if a proposal is declined, it doesn't mean we don't love him. It just not at the right time. Then again, I wondered if most of you guys would break up if a woman said no.
I don't think they're in a hurry. It happens naturally and unexpectedly. Guys get especially motivated if a woman is sweet and a firecracker in bed. They don't want to let a good thing get away. If a woman owns her own home, that can be a motivator, too. Men can be just as mercenary as some of you guys say women are.
Are you kidding me? Do you realize how many chicks out here know how to back it up?
You act like there's only a handful of chicks out here who are good in bed.
Maybe it's regional? It seems as if in some areas of the country, there's a lot of pressure on both sexes to marry young. I was raised on the East Coast and women didn't really think of marriage until mid-twenties at the earliest at which point we discovered that guys were hard to convince. Getting my Dh to marry me was the battle of a lifetime. I'd wasted time with an ex, and didn't marry until I was almost 36. It's difficult to imagine a woman finding a guy who really wanted to marry her unless she was top 10% in looks. Actually, I knew one woman like that and even she had some anxious months waiting for a proposal. It seems as if the guys knew they had a certain degree of power us after a relationship was well underway and they took their sweet time making a decision about whether to make it permanent. After the wedding, things get a lot more equal, and the husbands seem much more emotionally dependent.
[quote=Trimac20;25984748]What annoys me is when women complain 'why won't he just ask me already?' Like she's pressuring him to propose so they can have the fairytale wedding and fairytale marriage.[/QUOTE]
I must be the oddball out because at 25 I told my parents I may never get married. It was not on my agenda at all. I was proposed to at an early age, and I was nowhere near ready to get married at 21, so needless to say he brought it up, not me.
I was busy having fun all through my 20's and did not even think about finding a guy to marry. I did notice a trend, however. Maybe because I kept meeting guys who were inexperienced or who didn't have long relationships, but the minute our relationship actually lasted a long time, poof they started talking marriage. However my last BF was already talking marriage and kids at 3 months because I was the only GF he had who actually lasted longer than 2 months. It should be because you love each other, it feels right and want to make that level of commitment, not because we broke your previous dating record.
I was never concerned about it, because I always figured if it was meant to happen, it will. Also I never wanted the fairytale wedding. I would have been happy getting married in Vegas. When I was married, it was my ex husband who needed to have the reception and the ceremony and the whole 9 yards, not me. So when it happens again, (because the BF and I have discussed it and what we want ultimately) I just want to be surprised, and keep it simple. And we will get married because we both want to, not because one person pushed the other into it.
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