An affair is just not worth it. (male, cheat, attracted)
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It's not anything new. Neighbors, co-workers, friends etc etc.
I personally would never cheat on a woman I was with. It's just not part of my moral compass, for some it may be religion that drives them, for me I believe I can have "morals and values" without actually attending a formal church, but that is best left for another thread.
I don't get why people have affairs, just on a pragmatic basis, you have to keep track of your lies, money receipts, come up with reasons for why you are gone, always on the lookout to not get caught.
The logistics alone are just a nightmare, let alone all of the moral reasons that I mentioned.
It's it the thrill of all the sneaking around, the excitment of a "new" person??
For me, it just doesn't add up.
I obviously don't want to hurt her or myself for that matter, cause I believe that things come around and you stain yourself, karma or whatever label you wanna put on it. The universe, "God", IDK, it has a way of evening things out. I believe this.
Thoughts???
If you've never done it, you really can't say that it's not "worth it."
People have affairs of different kinds for different reasons.
I agree with you Chow, what a pain in the *** that would be. But I also agree with Sixy, life isn't black and white and I try my best not to judge others, none of us ever truly know both sides of the story.
[quote=Wmsn4Life;26008586]I didn't say you were judging anyone. You said you can't see that it would be worth it, but apparently that is not what people who have affairs think.
Something's worth is decided by those who are willing to pay for it.
Now, those who are "victimized" by spouses who have affairs would have a different opinion about whether it's worth it.
But the person having the affair must think it is.[/quote]
I used to see affairs as black and white when I was younger. My father cheated on my mother with the town *****. She was my cheerleading coach, he was the football coach (this is peewee football; I was 9) and they literally cheated right in front of my brother and I. I saw them dancing together during a end-of-season party at a local pizza place and I teased my father that I was going to tell mom. Little did I realize that a few months later my father would be leaving my mom for this same woman. They later got married after she got a big settlement from a car accident. Pretty soon my father, who said he didn't want to be married anymore and rarely wanted to see my brother and I unless it was convenient, was living with an entirely new family. I didn't speak with him for more than ten years, and in my mind anyone who cheated was a horrible human being who didn't care about ruining lives.
But when I got older, I saw another side to the story. A lot of people, particularly those of my parents' age, got married because it was what was expected after high school/college. My parents weren't compatible at all. My father took the cowards' way out and hurt a lot of people, but I can see why some people choose that route. I have a friend whose brother cheated on his wife for years. His wife was a shrew whom he never should have married, and they stayed together for the kids. I don't agree with what he did but I can understand how he felt like he was between a rock and a hard place.
There's also a smaller percentage of people who cheat on impulse, but I think they truly love their spouse/significant other and truly are sorry. I agree that there is probably something lacking in the relationship. Perhaps the cheater just wanted to feel desirable again, or whatever. Personally I would never cheat on my SO, and he knows that cheating is a deal breaker for me, but I see now that it isn't always that simple and that some people have different things going on.
I didn't say you were judging anyone. You said you can't see that it would be worth it, but apparently that is not what people who have affairs think.
Something's worth is decided by those who are willing to pay for it.
Now, those who are "victimized" by spouses who have affairs would have a different opinion about whether it's worth it.
But the person having the affair must think it is.
I do agree with this... To a degree. But it only means it was worth it in the present time, not necessarily after all is said and done. My ex felt on top of the world at the time he was cheating and getting away with it.
6 months later after my leaving him, he went from being a man that felt as if he had everything, to a man that is absolutely broken. He has desperately tried to regain my attention or find someone else like me...his words not mine to anyone who will listen. Classic case of not realizing what you got til it's gone. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener, it's greener where you water it. Hindsight can be 20/20..completely depends on the situation.
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