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Someone I used to date who hurt me pretty bad moved away from Tampa. This week he was back in town to visit family and called me to see if I wanted to get together (we had made our peace shortly after the break up). To his surprise, and to mine he spent two nights with me and I'm taking the day off from work to go to the beach with him before he goes back home.
So, am I being foolish to give him a second chance? I've always said I would never go back to an ex, but I always felt like we were on to something good before everything hit the fan. Even my roommate commented that if she didn't know better, seeing the way we interacted with each other, she would've thought we were a happily married couple of several years.
Of course, with the distance between us (we live on opposite coasts) that throws another wrench in things, but then again his city is on the list of places I've been considering moving. Hmmm...any thoughts?
I do believe that everything happens for a reason - be open about why it didn't work out the first time - keep your eyes open and see what is - not what you want it to be and WHY NOT!!!
What's the worst thing that could happen - it doesn't work out? You already know he's not an ax murderer....(Ihope!!!) see what happens.
Good advice. He left when he grew tired of Tampa, met someone online in Seattle, and moved up there to be with him. I was hurt at the time, but he was young (only 24) and now at 29 he seems so much more mature and stable. He has even admitted regret to what he did and how now it seems so stupid to have done it. He told me last night that he loved me. He always tells me that, but it's a friend telling a friend; but last night the look in his eyes meant it different and he was upset when I didn't say anything back.
McCheese, you and I must be from the same school of experience...
I'd say be very careful about that timeline of just WHEN he left Tampa and just WHEN he met someone online. I suspect the dates for the two might be closer than initially suspected - and I truly believe once a cheater, always a cheater, until you get too old and too tired to cheat anymore. Having been there, done that, lived this drama with an ex who returned and then ex-ited again, I will say - it's a lot easier to work up a case of the mad the second time around - the one you were looking for the first time, and then you have absolutely no doubts and really no regrets....you tried, they messed up, oh well.
Someone I used to date who hurt me pretty bad moved away from Tampa. This week he was back in town to visit family and called me to see if I wanted to get together (we had made our peace shortly after the break up). To his surprise, and to mine he spent two nights with me and I'm taking the day off from work to go to the beach with him before he goes back home.
So, am I being foolish to give him a second chance? I've always said I would never go back to an ex, but I always felt like we were on to something good before everything hit the fan. Even my roommate commented that if she didn't know better, seeing the way we interacted with each other, she would've thought we were a happily married couple of several years.
Of course, with the distance between us (we live on opposite coasts) that throws another wrench in things, but then again his city is on the list of places I've been considering moving. Hmmm...any thoughts?
It depends on why he hurt you... I tend not to give ex's second chances myself because there is usually a red flag that tells me to not look back. I would tread with caution - you didn't mention what he did to hurt you but it is often the case that the core of who a person is really doesn't change much throughout life unless something happened to them (usually bad). Run on sentence, sorry... too lazy to change it...
I would probably give him a second chance but I would also look for red flags and keep my guard up. Good luck to you.
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