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The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.
Interesting, but love is a very intense passionate emotion as is hate. Indifference is the stranger you smile at while walking down the street. I can see how that could be the ultimate insult to someone you were once madly in love with. Sad story BTW. I hope things are better for you soon.
The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.
Interesting, but love is a very intense passionate emotion as is hate. Indifference is the stranger you smile at while walking down the street. I can see how that could be the ultimate insult to someone you were once madly in love with. Sad story BTW. I hope things are better for you soon.
No, love is not always intesnse emotions or butterfly feelings.
No, love is not always intesnse emotions or butterfly feelings.
Yes everything has a beginning middle and end. Our love in the beginning was intense and my hatred for my ex was also intense. Hence for me love and hate are intense emotions on opposite spectrums. I am far from indifferent to my husband and having loved him for 27 years is intense for me, and pretty remarkable since most of my friends are unhappily married. I guess it all hinges on what your definition of intense is.
Yes everything has a beginning middle and end. Our love in the beginning was intense and my hatred for my ex was also intense. Hence for me love and hate are intense emotions on opposite spectrums. I am far from indifferent to my husband and having loved him for 27 years is intense for me, and pretty remarkable since most of my friends are unhappily married. I guess it all hinges on what your definition of intense is.
I'll never understand why people have to be this way either. I've never bad mouthed an ex, even when they treated me like garbage. But on the other hand, all my ex's have bad mouthed me even if I was the one putting up with more. Might have to do with the fact that I've broken up with nearly all my ex's... maybe the people who have been broken up with are more inclined to talk trash to uphold some kind of dignity or pride?
Your ex sounds like my mother... but I would still think something is up since you continue to care about her. Plus you mention "pitied". One of our family friends fell into an institution during college years. So? I guess you haven't actually let go of your past with her if you feel bad for her.
And pray tell, how am I supposed to ignore the past with her when I have five living examples, constant reminders and proofs that it existed? I call them my sons and daughters. Regardless of the past, the woman is deserving of recognition and regard. As I said in my post, she is the mother of my children.
I might also mention that I first met her when I was six years old, we were both raised on the same small island and our parents knew one another. That's a 60 year history. So of course I care about her and her welfare, especially as it is now wholly dependent upon our children. I would find it callous not too. Even my wife cares because it's the right thing to do.
The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference.
Interesting, but love is a very intense passionate emotion as is hate. Indifference is the stranger you smile at while walking down the street. I can see how that could be the ultimate insult to someone you were once madly in love with. Sad story BTW. I hope things are better for you soon.
Thanks but everything is fine. What started it all took place 18 years ago. I've now been married to my wife 16 years. Were retired, happy and secure, living where we want to be and quite content. The children have all come around and all-in-all, life is good.
I tend to stay away from people that hate their ex. It means that they are still emotionally tied to them. When your truly over someone, you become indifferent. They no longer have an effect on you. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone going on and on about their ex. That is quite unattractive.
I don't necessarily agree that it's unattractive, I think it's pretty normal to retain emotional ties to someone when you are abruptly dumped. The ability to just crank it off like a faucet is the abnormal thing, to me. When people get blindsided (and, let's face it, those are usually the people who harbor ill will toward their exes, not those whose relationship just mutually fizzled out), they're GOING to have to take time for the emotional aspects to fade. If somebody's still emotionally invested, that doesn't change overnight. So it really depends on how much time has passed and where that person is at on the grief recovery timeline. But, yeah, obviously I do agree that if you still do have that emotional connection, you're not ready to move on to somebody else. Anybody who knowingly starts something with a person who is still reeling from that type of experience, and where that level of emotional connection is still obvious, well, caveat emptor. I just disagree that having cared for somebody enough that you can't just switch the emotion off at the drop of a hat is in some way a bad trait or unattractive. I wouldn't WANT to be with somebody who is able to arrive at such indifference immediately.
I'll never understand why people have to be this way either. I've never bad mouthed an ex, even when they treated me like garbage.
Me, either...but not because I owe him that kindness or because he deserves to be treated with dignity or respect. Simply because I'm not a crappy person...like Tracy Chapman said, "all that you got is your soul." I don't badmouth my ex, simply and plainly, because trash talking is not who I am. Interestingly, it seems his family have done their fair share of badmouthing ME, which is a headscratcher, as I've done nothing to provoke such things, and wasn't the person who initiated any of this. But it seems that they expected me to cry and scream and ***** and badmouth, and when I didn't, making things up appears to have been their only recourse. Interesting people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by windynostalgia
But on the other hand, all my ex's have bad mouthed me even if I was the one putting up with more. Might have to do with the fact that I've broken up with nearly all my ex's... maybe the people who have been broken up with are more inclined to talk trash to uphold some kind of dignity or pride?
Eh. I'm the one who was dumped in my situation...IMO, trash talking wouldn't do a thing for dignity or pride...just undermines it.
Actually, for those who are concerned about how things appear to others, NOT speaking ill of somebody who has severely mistreated you is the way to go...It's kind of a no-brainer...they continue to look bad, cruel, messed up, etc. for what was done, and you get to keep your dignity as the person who didn't go the easy, ugly route of reacting vindictively by highlighting their actions, but who instead is a strong person keeping your head held high and not letting getting kicked to the curb get you down.
I don't personally care what others think, but my own character and dignity is important to me. It's important to me to remain classy...after all, I was wronged, I didn't do the wronging. My ex did enough bad on his own. He doesn't need my anger, bitterness, or vindictiveness to expose his cruel, negative actions...he was able to manage that just fine all by himself. Truth wins out.
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