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How long does it take what? To realize he wants to marry you? As another poster said, it could be months, or it could be years. I think a cutoff (for me, since I'm a guy) would be 2-3 years. If he hasn't put a ring on it then, it's time to start thinking about your long term future with him. Unless he's in law school or grad school and that's delaying things, OK, but after a couple of years, if he doesn't know by then, he ain't gonna marry you.
I've got a friend who dated this girl for 6 years, broke it off. I'm sure it wasn't a waste of time, I'm sure it was a learning experience but if I were a female, we're dating 5 years and we're not at least engaged?
Have you guys talked about marriage? I'm divorced but it was pretty clear after only about a year or so that my ex and I were going to get married. We planned for the future, he said things like "when we get married" or "when we have our own house." I think women overanalyze men too much (myself included) and it's pointless because like a lot of guys here have told you, men pretty much mean exactly what they say. There's no hiddden meaning, no codes to crack. If you want to get married and your boyfriend is buying a house without consulting you then I don't think that's a very good sign. And you already know it's a really terrible idea to help your boyfriend buy a house that's not yours. I'm almost 29 and I'd like to get married and have kids. If I didn't think a guy had marriage on his mind after a year or so I'd probably move on.
How long does it take what? To realize he wants to marry you? As another poster said, it could be months, or it could be years. think a cutoff (for me, since I'm a guy) would be 2-3 years.If he hasn't put a ring on it then, it's time to start thinking about your long term future with him. Unless he's in law school or grad school and that's delaying things, OK, but after a couple of years, if he doesn't know by then, he ain't gonna marry you.
I understand that everyone has a different timeframe when it comes to deciding that they want to get married. My longest relationship was a little over a year and I did not see it leading towards marriage. Unless I was very happy in the relationship, I think I would break it off if an engagement hadn't occurred by the two year mark, but I would prefer it to occur within one year.
I understand that everyone has a different timeframe when it comes to deciding that they want to get married. My longest relationship was a little over a year and I did not see it leading towards marriage. Unless I was very happy in the relationship, I think I would break it off if an engagement hadn't occurred by the two year mark, but I would prefer it to occur within one year.
Pretty sure with my current GF, I have an idea on where it's going to go, and we have talked about a future together and we're both open minded, i.e. not scaring each other off with the talk.
Just to add though, y'all have to remember it's the guy that has to propose, and it's the guy who has set side almost 3 months worth of salary to get an engagement ring. It's not easy, it takes time, almost as if you kinda have to plan it out a year in advance so you can set aside $.
Just to add though, y'all have to remember it's the guy that has to propose, and it's the guy who has set side almost 3 months worth of salary to get an engagement ring. It's not easy, it takes time, almost as if you kinda have to plan it out a year in advance so you can set aside $.
Everyone's financial situation is different, but I don't want a very expensive ring ($3000 or less will do), so I don't think it should take that long to come up with the money.
I agree. I know many who have lived together for 4,5, and even 10 years and the guy never proposes.
Never a good situation....especially for a female.
Why? I would be OK just living together and it wouldn't be a bad situation for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomRep
Pretty sure with my current GF, I have an idea on where it's going to go, and we have talked about a future together and we're both open minded, i.e. not scaring each other off with the talk.
Just to add though, y'all have to remember it's the guy that has to propose, and it's the guy who has set side almost 3 months worth of salary to get an engagement ring. It's not easy, it takes time, almost as if you kinda have to plan it out a year in advance so you can set aside $.
Only if you follow rules. Marriage doesn't have to be frightening or break the bank. I had a 500$ engagement ring (I picked it) even though he made 6 figures. Do what feels right to you, not what's expected.
OP - I think you can figure it out before he asks. Every case is different though. I've never had an engaged friend who didn't know it was coming...
There are different needs and expectations depending on ages of people, and life stages. In my 20's and 30's, I would have expected something about marriage or long term commitment after a year of committed dating. Otherwise, move on. At my age, over 50, I could care less about marriage. I am done with that whole baby child stuff. But, if a man can't plan a future with you, time to move on.
Have you guys talked about marriage? I'm divorced but it was pretty clear after only about a year or so that my ex and I were going to get married. We planned for the future, he said things like "when we get married" or "when we have our own house." I think women overanalyze men too much (myself included) and it's pointless because like a lot of guys here have told you, men pretty much mean exactly what they say. There's no hiddden meaning, no codes to crack. If you want to get married and your boyfriend is buying a house without consulting you then I don't think that's a very good sign. And you already know it's a really terrible idea to help your boyfriend buy a house that's not yours. I'm almost 29 and I'd like to get married and have kids. If I didn't think a guy had marriage on his mind after a year or so I'd probably move on.
He actually asked me a year ago, but I said no that we needed to take the relationship slower. Now, its like he really isn't asking the question but seems like he may be leading to it again.
He actually asked me a year ago, but I said no that we needed to take the relationship slower. Now, its like he really isn't asking the question but seems like he may be leading to it again.
Interesting. Might be a topic for another thread, but I'm surprised he is still with you after you turned him down.
He actually asked me a year ago, but I said no that we needed to take the relationship slower. Now, its like he really isn't asking the question but seems like he may be leading to it again.
Wow. You should have revealed this info at the beginning. I too am shocked that this guy is still with you. I would have been done with you after you turned my marriage question down the first time. Still cannot believe he stayed. Good luck with that.
Last edited by usamathman; 10-19-2012 at 12:09 PM..
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