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I am aiming this at women though I suppose this happens to men too. However so many women I know repeat this pattern: they go out with a guy and then they sleep with him. They wait for his call only to find out he was just using her as a booty call. Now I know people who slept together on a first date and got married but am not talking about them. The fact is some people are only interested in sex and not relationships but they lie.
I was thinking of this as I read another thread and it reminded me of a movie I saw long ago. This woman slept with this man and got pregnant. When she had the baby he had married another woman and had nothing to do with her kid. This guy later had kids with his wife while he ignored his child by the other woman.
The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
I wish more people would think like you. I think society plays with sex too much and too many problems manifest from it. The only positive for most people in living this way is momentary satisfaction without thinking of consequences. I always watch the Maury show to remind myself about the consequences of fullfilling an impulse.
The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
I think you should do what's right for you. I've never felt like I was used, but I did sometimes feel like I was obligated to be physical with guys after a certain amount of time had passed even though it wasn't necessarily what I wanted. So my goal for the future is not to do that anymore and only do things when I want to, whenever the time comes.
I think you should do what's right for you. I've never felt like I was used, but I did sometimes feel like I was obligated to be physical with guys after a certain amount of time had passed even though it wasn't necessarily what I wanted. So my goal for the future is not to do that anymore and only do things when I want to, whenever the time comes.
I have to agree with this. Do what makes you feel comfortable in the moment. You could wait months or a year to sleep with a guy, and he can still leave you. When a person has sex in a relationship is not a barometer on how long the relationship will last.
People can become sexually intimate whenever they feel that it is right for them, but there's definitely something to be said for not feeling like the prescribed natural order is to sleep with somebody right away, whether you're feeling it or not. It also depends on what both parties are looking for. If they mutually are looking for things at that level and aren't so concerned that it blossom into a serious long-term relationship that's deeper than just sex, then, no, it's not going to matter as much. Mutually being the key term. And of course there are long, lasting relationship that started with intimacy early on...but it shouldn't just be a default. People shouldn't feel as if they're "supposed" to be having sex with a new person by X time. They should let things unfold at a natural pace that suits them.
If the woman wants sex too, by all means, she should enjoy herself.
If she's having sex with a guy in hopes of keeping his interest, well, that's probably an indicator she has other problems.
Gotta agree. Sometimes all is "ok" and sex is great so you keep at it till all else is great, doesn't work all the time.
Age has alot to do with it also. My views at 40 are much different than they were at 20.
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