Asexual here about arguing with other asexuals (girlfriend, women, attracted)
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I am an asexual guy who realized his asexuality not long ago, and now I am in a kind of heated debate with other asexuals so I wanted to check what would your opinion be...
The community is much more complex that the usual straight or LBGT communities: some of us are still romantic and would pursue relationships with others, just that there is no sexual attraction, some of us (and I am in here) would not be romantic either.
Now there is a group of people who claim themselves to be asexuals yet say something like
-I would like to have sex with some friend with benefits
-I am still interested in sex
-I enjoy sex
The heated debate comes when some asexuals like me, possible like some of you sexuals right now reading this, doubt and possibly deny they are asexual if they are looking forward for sex.
I know I am not interested in sex, and I want no relationships, no sex with anyone- woman, man, friend with benefits, potential partner... NO ONE.
I know I am not interested in sex, and I want no relationships, no sex with anyone- woman, man, friend with benefits, potential partner... NO ONE.
Please give your opinions.
Were you ever interested in it? As in, was it always this way or is this a more recent development?
I believe asexuals exist. I don't think they're common. I also believe people become less needy of sex, relationships, and others as time goes by, which sounds kind of asexual, but I don't think fits the textbook definition.
Asexuality is actually something that I am newly learning about. I have an asexual friend who has been in a relationship for something like seven years, and she's been educating me about it as she learns. She does have sex, but she said that it's not that enjoyable. She also informed me that there are numerous types of asexuals.
Basically, there's an entire subculture that is huge. The overview is that there are asexuals who carry on relationships, but have (almost) nonexistant sex drives; there are asexuals who lack interest in relationships and sex; there are asexuals who occasionally desire sex, but lack interest in relationships. And so on.
Were you ever interested in it? As in, was it always this way or is this a more recent development?
I believe asexuals exist. I don't think they're common. I also believe people become less needy of sex, relationships, and others as time goes by, which sounds kind of asexual, but I don't think fits the textbook definition.
I have never been interested in having sex with anyone. I am heteroplatonic though. I wanted a girlfriend before but for the sake of hanging together and having romantic moments, like walking by hands etc. but I developed aromanticism as I failed in my attempts an I am now an aromantic asexual.
Yet not all asexual are aromantic and my disagreement with some of them is that they kind of want to introduce sex to their "looking for relationships" and for me that is just plain sexual, I don't understand why they want to be considered asexuals if they have an intent for sex. They claim they feel no attraction to it but that they feel curious. It is contradicting. i feel no curiosity for sex. At 29 how can I be curious about it I mam not that young anymore.
Asexuality is actually something that I am newly learning about. I have an asexual friend who has been in a relationship for something like seven years, and she's been educating me about it as she learns. She does have sex, but she said that it's not that enjoyable. She also informed me that there are numerous types of asexuals.
Basically, there's an entire subculture that is huge. The overview is that there are asexuals who carry on relationships, but have (almost) nonexistant sex drives; there are asexuals who lack interest in relationships and sex; there are asexuals who occasionally desire sex, but lack interest in relationships. And so on.
Interesting stuff.
That is my concern this "occasionally desire sex". If it is a fetish or masturbation it may be understandable in terms of releasing a sexual tension but desiring sex with someone for me does not qualify as asexual, because I can't see how can I be asexual and want sex with someone.
That is my concern this "occasionally desire sex". If it is a fetish or masturbation it may be understandable in terms of releasing a sexual tension but desiring sex with someone for me does not qualify as asexual, because I can't see how can I be asexual and want sex with someone.
I think it's a matter of whether sex is enjoyable once it is being had, yes? It's not atypical for a person to desire sex, but it is atypical for a person to desire sex and then not enjoy it. I think that's the key component.
I have never been interested in having sex with anyone. I am heteroplatonic though. I wanted a girlfriend before but for the sake of hanging together and having romantic moments, like walking by hands etc. but I developed aromanticism as I failed in my attempts an I am now an aromantic asexual.
Yet not all asexual are aromantic and my disagreement with some of them is that they kind of want to introduce sex to their "looking for relationships" and for me that is just plain sexual, I don't understand why they want to be considered asexuals if they have an intent for sex. They claim they feel no attraction to it but that they feel curious. It is contradicting. i feel no curiosity for sex. At 29 how can I be curious about it I mam not that young anymore.
I've met one person that I can recall who is asexual, in terms of not being interested in sex or relationships. There's apparently many women who don't enjoy sex, but that is something that is openly discussed among women I meet on a regular basis. Furthermore, those women are interested in relationships.
The guy I know is 35 and has never had a GF as far as I know. He has never expressed any interest in women (or men) in terms of having sex or relationship or even being attracted to them. It is really kind of weird. I know other men who are wildly unsuccessful with women, including another who probably has never even kissed a woman at age 35, but they have always mentioned at the very least being interested or attracted.
He's very quiet and antisocial, like one of those guys who works, has no friends, and barely talks, so he might just be completely bottling it up inside. I know for somebody who is at least semi-social it's very difficult to get by without at least admitting you are attracted to something.
He's a great curiosity to me.
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