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Depression is a weird thing. Some people with really s-hitty lives don't encounter it and people with seemingly good lives do. It's sort of a wild card. And, I think we all know, that only an MD or nurse practitioner can write Rx s for antidepressants. A therapist or counselor cannot, unless they pair up with/transcribe to a medical professional.
Well, to be honest - he only went to see his psychiatrist once a year to renew his prescription. It seems it was pretty much just a chemical imbalance in his case.
I think we should distinguish between therapy and counseling or life coaching. I think alot of people here could use coaching but not necessarily therapy. IMO, therapy or psychotherapy is for more serious issues than dating.
For example, for my chronic depression I have had a therapist/psychiatrist since I was 17, a whole series of them. Some of them have been excellent and some of them have been a poor fit, but thankfully none have been terrible. In Malaysia the therapist is allowed to perscribe medication, in other words he or she is also the MD portion of the treatment, but in the States I've got to see two professionals for full treatment since the therapist isn't allowed to prescribe. It makes for thousands of dollars a month in session fees, but thankfully my Dad came from a time when companies actually cared about their employees, and thus has full health insurance for the whole family until I turn 26, after which I better hope I'm a happy camper otherwise I'm screwed.
I'd say the ones that were compatible with me have done a good job staving off the more serious bouts of depression and suicidal ideation. However when it comes to more mundane things like talking to and attracting the opposite gender most of my therapists have been simply too old and far removed from the modern dating scene to really give much useful advice other than the usual platitudes. My current guy in the States is an Italian from NYC and has kids, and I don't think he's been on the market in years if not decades, there's really not much relevant advice I can get from him. Both he and I are fairly old-fashioned in our views on dating anyway so we're both out of touch with how the real world really operates.
My dad suffered from depression, too, and didn't realize it for awhile. He finally sought help when he realized that he was having suicidal thoughts yet his life was pretty damn good. He found the right medication and was so much better after that. I'm so grateful that he got the help he needed - I can't imagine what my life would have been like if he hadn't.
Depression is a silent killer.
People with depression who remain untreated have something like a 5000x greater chance of suicide than those who do.
We all hear of those suicides who seemed to have everything going for them - chances are, they were depressed.
There's no shame to being mentally unwell. It's like cancer, it can affect anyone. It doesn't discriminate.
I used to work with an opinionated biatch who used to frequently state that people just needed to cheer up a bit.
She then went through a marriage breakdown and experienced a full blown depressive disorder because of it, and has had to eat her words publicly. She now knows first hand that it's not just a case of "pulling yourself together" if you are severely depressed. It's a medical issue, like any other.
Been reading these threads and seem to run into a common theme on here when people are giving other people advice. Instead of saying to go pray or talk to family I mainly see people advising others to go see a counselor which in my world does not compute because most people in my path are like me, lower-income or struggling middle class. I have never had friends or co-workers in my life who have said they resort to seeing a counselor for their problems. How many of you actually talk to a counselor when you have issues? How many of you just tell people to see one just because it makes you sound like a responsible person in front of other posters on here?
I have been in therapy for years. Its not all expensive. There are plenty of places that do sliding scales and offer access to medication if needed in most cities. I go every week or every other week, depending on work.
If anyone ever told me to "pray" I would laugh my butt off. I would sooner keep a dream journal or look to my horoscope for guidance. And my family is the reason I started therapy in the first place. Its really not fair to burden friends with this stuff.
I agree this is true but I feel the "I'm ok and you're messed up in the head because you are below me" sentiment is more common than those who need actual therapy.
If anything, it seems to me that the "I'm just here to find similarly unhappy, hateful people to commiserate with and get validation from for the things my own conscience is telling me is wrong" sentiment is more common than a genuine interest in advice or help solving a problem.
I am sure there are good ones out there, who were called to do that work because understanding and helping other people help themselves is something they have to offer. However, in that pile are also those who are called to it for the money, for a sense of power, and/or to understand their own issues.
I don't argue the validity of depression. I wish I could understand/explain it better. I mean we can talk all day about chemical imbalance and all...but it is definitely linked to life events. Like some extreme stress response.
I've felt it. The fear of that...that vortex of despair...is one of the biggest reasons I question my ability to ever be the happy, independent single person I dream of in my mind. I thought I'd outgrown it, but when my husband deployed, I found myself curled up in bed, not wanting to eat or move, and feeling like my heart was being ripped out. For no real reason. I had been more or less enjoying my "break" from my husband, going to events he wouldn't want to attend, playing at being strong and independent (not cheating!)...but somehow without him in my home landscape, I fell into the occasional hole that was hard to drag myself out of. I convinced myself that I was unloveable, that I had no one, that I was alone..even though my kids were right in the next room! I thought about suicide...then I thought of my kids being without me and it made me even more sad and heartbroken, I wept like the world was ending. It didn't make sense. It just hurt. I'd rather have him here annoying me than have him gone and feel that way.
BUT--I do think that as a society there are times where we are perhaps overly quick to attach a disorder to a person and medicate them, when perhaps a disorder does not exist. Doctors, even, are capable of misdiagnosis...let alone parents and schools. And kids today trade and sell meds, pill abuse is more rampant than illegal drug abuse in many areas.
I am sure there are good ones out there, who were called to do that work because understanding and helping other people help themselves is something they have to offer. However, in that pile are also those who are called to it for the money, for a sense of power, and/or to understand their own issues.
This is true. And it's why I always tell people that it takes many, many trials before finding a good fit.
My therapist came from a similar background to mine (albeit she was much older than I), so she understood my issues on a more personal level. But, it also took me a couple attempts at therapy before finding her.
It's just like any other doctor, really. I have yet to find a dentist that I like as much as I did my childhood dentist, I don't really like my eye doctor, and I must've gone through dozens of PCPs before finding one that fit what I was looking for.
Therapists vary a lot. I should know. I am one. For some of you who say you can't afford it -- if you think you need it, check out clinics. There are ways to get the service at reduced cost, sometimes. Especially through health insurance. Not everyone needs therapy, but when it works (if you do need it), it can be pretty great.
I went to counseling when I was in college. It was already paid for so that wasn't a problem. I'm less likely to do it now but I would if it was necessary. My time in counseling was a lot more helpful than prayer or talking to the same people.*
*They're helpful but it's nice to get others' viewpoints too.
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