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Not entirely true. If said man forgets said wife's birthday or anniversary and his mother says he better make it up to her, that's a very good time for him to take orders from his mother.
I still would not be impressed. Mom needs to demand that? Not for me. Forgetting can be understandable. Needing mom to give you a push towards making it up--not for me--at all. In highschool when a young man is just starting to date--of course. But a grown man? My husband or potential?--nope.
So they moved in to help him out with things and child care while he is working and having chemo? Do you live with him? Does he have full custody of his daughter?
I think I could maybe accept it if his parents moved in because he truly needed their help and was unable to take care of himself because of an illness. Is that the case now? It sounds like his mom is not respectful of you or your relationship with her son and has no intention of moving out even if he doesn't need her to be there. That would really be the deal breaker for me. Wait...actually the deal breaker for me wouldn't be his controlling mother, it would be that he LETS her control his life and disrespect you. If he was willing to stand up for you and set boundaries then I could maybe give it a chance.
Yes, some kind of rare cancer. But it is only locally aggressive. His survival rate is almost 99.99%, so there is absolutely no link betwee his condition and premature death.
The reason for his divorce is the diagnose of his illness, unfortunately. His ex bailed because of the diagnose. However, some new information I got from mutual friends is that his ex wife couldn't stand his parents moving in with him. I don't know what to believe at this point.
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I would believe this. The diagnosis of his illness was likely a shock and I'd guess the ex may have even welcomed his parents help in the beginning. It became a problem when she realized they weren't leaving. His mom has already told you to get used to the situation, so in her mind she's not leaving. Even after he gets better, there will be no one who can take better care of her son than she can. I'd guess that he isn't strong enough to go against her wishes, which are to be with her son until she dies. Something will always come up to justify his parents staying.
If you decide to stay, go in knowing the situation will not change. You and your wishes will always be secondary and you will lose any confrontation with his mom. If you ever say it's me or your mom to him, you better have your bags packed and car warmed up or taxi waiting.
I would believe this. The diagnosis of his illness was likely a shock and I'd guess the ex may have even welcomed his parents help in the beginning. It became a problem when she realized they weren't leaving. His mom has already told you to get used to the situation, so in her mind she's not leaving. Even after he gets better, there will be no one who can take better care of her son than she can. I'd guess that he isn't strong enough to go against her wishes, which are to be with her son until she dies. Something will always come up to justify his parents staying.
If you decide to stay, go in knowing the situation will not change. You and your wishes will always be secondary and you will lose any confrontation with his mom. If you ever say it's me or your mom to him, you better have your bags packed and car warmed up or taxi waiting.
That is what I believe too at this point. Like I said, my heart tells me one thing, my brain tells me another. Thank you for the reality check though.
I'd have no problem with the kid - I'm like the "kid whisperer" for bratty children. It's the kowtowing to the parents that would be the dealbreaker for me. What, they're going to cut him off if he sets limits? That would be pretty hateful on their part.
I don't care how sick he is. You can still use your words.
And actually, come to think of it, the kid DOES bother me - but only because her own father described her as bratty and entitled. Then EFFIN' FIX IT. Don't disparage an 8-year-old - set limits and demand results. Good lord, it's called parenting.
I think I seriously need a reality check. I need opinions from both genders. So help me out here, guys.
First of all, I am a very attractive (guys' words, not mine), 30 year old childless woman, never been married, I dont have any children of my own, but I am certainly open to the idea., I have a rewarding career, college graduate, and loving parents.
Well, I accepted the reality years ago that you cannot help whom you fell in love with.
My boyfriend is 38 years old, had a child from previous relationship. I like the kid, but she is spoiled and entitled, then again, which kid is not nowadays.
My boyfriend works for a fortune 500 company, makes a little bit over 6 figure a year, has a huge mortgage. He suffers from a genetic illness and he will pass his illness to 50% of his children. He also is on chemotherapy.
He's a kind person, but sort of a mom's boy. He is currently living with his parents and although he is an almost 40 year old man, his parents treat him like 4 years old. He has to report to his parents his whereabout, and reality has proven he is not going to cut the apron strings any time soon.
His parents are the most pranoid, ignorant, close minded, suspicious, know-it-all, stubborn people I've ever known. They are living with him because they feel they have the needs to take care of my boyfriend. They are extremely judgemental and we don't get along. They never showed me any respect and believe I must have some kind of hidden agenda and try to take advantage of their son. They have this delusional belief that their son is God's gift to all women, and any women come his way already know what she is getting herself into. So no need to give the girl any respect. His mother told me how to cook on day one!!!!
My boyfriend and I are in love, but he is very much of a mom's boy. At this point, I can only count on his health getting better. But he has chronic illness, so chances are we would have to monitor his condition the rest of his life. The illness is a tickling time bomb.. However, my boyfriend has reassured me that his parents will move out when he can be independent. But when will he be independent is the question. My guess is he still has a looooooong way to go.
Will you consider a long time serious relationship with a guy who is kind, loving, financially secure, single father, a mom's boy who perhaps will live with his parents for a long time?
Opinions please. Thank you in advance.
My opinion: You make very bad decisions.
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