For those of you who won't date single parents (boyfriends, marrying, pregnant)
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Why are kids a deal-breaker for you? I notice this more with men who won't date single mothers, although it can happen with women not dating single dads as well. Is it because the kids themselves drive you nuts and you don't like having them around? Or is it for financial reasons, because you fear that your significant other would guilt you into helping financially support a kid who is not yours? Or is there some other reason i have not thought of?
The single moms that I have dated dedicate themselves 24/7 to their kids. I love kids but also need some intimacy with a women....some real time alone, a date to dinner or a movie ALONE. Privacy of a bedroom, ALONE.
If a women wants to have a mate and be a mother they need to find a balance...same goes for the men. Talking with other men they tend to agree they experienced the same scenario.
The other potential problem is a guy having to deal with the ex husband and his possible jealously issues, visitation rights, etc etc.
I am sure some moms are not all that way ....but this was just my experience.
Way too many people have this delusion where the stepparents will connect with the step kids and everyone will live happily forever. The reality is this rarely happens in all the times I have known blended families. The rate of divorce is higher between childless/parent than any other group and it's because its is difficult to be childless and walk into a ready made family. It's easier when both people have kids since they understand the other but still isn't like what we see on the Brady Bunch where the new step parents love the step kids like they do their own kids. A childless person is risking a lot to marry a parent, from seeing their own money go to help support the other family to their dreams taking a backseat to the other family to dealing with drama they had no role in but get caught up in it. I see no good reason for a childless person to marry a parent except they are desperate and feel they can get no better.
That's over generalizing iddy. And I know many who dated a single dads or moms. And that new person became a better parent than the real one. My dad was a single parent. My sister's friend's mom was a single mother and married a very well known famous man around here. Sometimes single parents should marry other single parents. And some recovering acholics should date other recovering acholics. Know what they been through. But it doesn't always happen that way. My mom loved my dad for the person he is. You should try it.
To be honest, i agree with you. Kids are cute and all, but i'd much prefer a low-stress lifestyle. I like to see my niece when she comes to visit, but there's no way i'd want to be around kids 24/7. I like giving my niece back to her parents at the end of the day!
I much prefer a low-stress lifestyle. Coming home to a QUIET house at the end of a hard day's work, relaxing with a nice girl and a glass of wine. That's more my style.
Till the nice girl starts pushing to have a kid, that always sucks. If you date a single mom then there is no baby fever. The mom has to make aqaquate alone time though, single moms who are serious about a relationship make it work.
Why are kids a deal-breaker for you? I notice this more with men who won't date single mothers, although it can happen with women not dating single dads as well. Is it because the kids themselves drive you nuts and you don't like having them around? Or is it for financial reasons, because you fear that your significant other would guilt you into helping financially support a kid who is not yours? Or is there some other reason i have not thought of?
Because I'm not a kid person. I wasn't a kid person when i was a kid. In addition, I don't want to be with a woman who values anyone but herself over me. Selfish? Yes. But I would make HER the same priority in MY life, and I expect the same. Parents are incapable of this.
In addition to that, children give me IBS, PMS, hives, head lice, seborrhea, pyorrhea, diarrhea and gonorrhea; the nervous complaint, prostate cancer, dutch elm disease, lyme disease, the vapors, terminal rage, egregious flatulence and, as you might have imagined, a bit of a harsh outlook on life.
Men who refuse to date single mothers have all kinds of reasons. None of them are all that compelling.
In the broadest sense, men who won't date single mothers don't want to grow up. They want what they had in their early 20s to continue forever. They want a woman to be there for them, but they don't want to have to deal with the realities of her life. Do men have a right to be this way? Yes. But I am not obligated to respect them.
Good, YOU raise all those abandoned kids, from lousy parents. Better you than me.
I don't think it's the kids that are the deal breaker...it's the baby momma/daddy drama that's the deal breaker.
In my case, you'd be very wrong. The kid is there before the baby mama/daddy and in my case, I'd never get to the baby mama, because if the woman has a kid, she'll have to keep looking.
\How can a straight guy compare dating a single mum to dating a man lol???
I'm a straight guy, and I'd date a man before I dated a single mother. I don't want the romantic company of men, but given a choice...and a gun at my head...
It's called preference. I prefer the company of women without children. I don't care if this offends you, I don't care if it makes you hate me. I will NEVER be involved, romantically, with a single parent.
Ever.
There is a disconnect between the priorities of parents and non-parents. Different priorities. Different sensibilities. I want a woman who's the same kind of crazy as me. A mother can never be that. May not be the answer anyone wants, but it's the answer I have. I have no idea why you're taking it so personally...
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