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Every married couple has had fights and arguments. For those that did end up getting a divorce, what was the straw that broke for you? How do you know when 'enough is enough' and called it quits?
She was a mean, angry, jealous, controlling, untrusting, co-dependent (to the point where she would get angry when I'd fly back to Phoenix to see my ailing mother) condescending tnuc that had absolutely zero control over her emotions. The meaner she was the less I'd want to have sex with her and the less I wanted to have sex with her the meaner she got. I finally had enough, moved to Denver and had the lawyer take care of everything so that I wouldnt have to see her again. Neither of us cheated, we just didnt get along. It was a collection of things, not a single straw.
Every married couple has had fights and arguments. For those that did end up getting a divorce, what was the straw that broke for you? How do you know when 'enough is enough' and called it quits?
He dropped out of undergrad without telling me. I found out when the collection notice for tuition he hadn't paid arrived in the mail. Sorry, that's one of those major life things you discuss with your spouse. That was probably the death knell, after him trying to change my mind about kids and him not doing his share of chores when I was the one who paid most of the bills and worked full-time while he was supposed to be in school.
But I knew it was unsalvageable after a weekend in New York with friends. He forgot to pack shirts and made us over an hour late for brunch while he went out and bought some. (And he didn't even apologize or claim responsibility for it when we arrived.) He whined and complained about not liking the coffee in the hotel room, not knowing where to go to get some, and having to go to--horrors!--Dunkin' Donuts. And then he blew through every toll booth on the way back home. He had an E-Z Pass, but it either didn't have money or it wasn't working, and even though the light to pay the toll went on, he just slowed down and drove through--in the car I paid for, for which my name was the primary registrant so the tickets came to me.
That was it for me. Those three things angered me beyond all reason, the small things that were just symptoms of the much larger problems of his irresponsibility and immaturity. I saw the years stretching out before me, with me paying the price for every little mess he created. I thought, "I'll be damned if I end up being his second mother for the rest of my life."
BTW, I made sure the tickets went into the property settlement agreement so he had to pay them.
And danged if, when he pet-sat for me and watered my plants while I was away one weekend, he didn't overwater them and ruin the carpet at my apartment so that the landlord wanted to charge me for it. We were divorced, and although we were on friendly terms, there I was, STILL paying for his stupidity.
I don't wish him ill, but dang, am I glad I don't have to deal with him anymore!
He was unhappy and angry all the time. Finally in a fit of rage, he slapped our then 7-year old daughter, leaving a bruise on her face. He was out the next morning.
Thank you for sharing everyone. It's really quite sad to hear everyone's experiences. I know it's not easy to make the decision and it's especially tough if you have kids involved. My wife and I rarely ever fight, but when we do, it always feels like it's the end and our kids are the only thing that's holding us together. All marriages need work - that I know - and this thread gives me a different perspective altogether after reading everyone's experiences. Again, thank you for sharing.
That was it for me. Those three things angered me beyond all reason, the small things that were just symptoms of the much larger problems of his irresponsibility and immaturity. I saw the years stretching out before me, with me paying the price for every little mess he created. I thought, "I'll be damned if I end up being his second mother for the rest of my life."
Those are far from "small" things! Just wondering--is this one of those "got married too young" stories? I wonder how people can end up with someone like this. Usually it's when you're too young to know what's a red flag in the relationship in the earlier stages.
Every married couple has had fights and arguments. For those that did end up getting a divorce, what was the straw that broke for you? How do you know when 'enough is enough' and called it quits?
When she wasn't able to close her legs for another man. I was more miffed then I was hurt & that was more then enough.
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