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if she blocked me it would have at least made a statement that ''i dont want you to see my profile''
the way she did it she was a coward about it ''i dont want you to see this and this but then im going to lie to you if you ask me about it and just say it was your ummmm....settings.''
do you understand what i mean?
i do understand what you mean, yes. you feel she had somehow premeditated all of that, decided what she would allow you to see, and then planned to lie to you if you asked her about it.
just think about this for a minute.....do you really think she expected you to ask her about it? sorry to disillusion you, but someone's got to do it. it's not like the two of you had any type of relationship in which there was reciprocal commitment and responsibility to honor that relationship. you are crushing on someone who is living a life that does not include you in it, save for the rare occasion you stay in the hotel she works in. do you see how ego-centric you are being, do you see the sense of personal entitlement you are displaying, by presuming she owes you anything at all, including an explanation as to why she has limited your access to her account? she hardly gives you a second thought, nothing personal, you are simply not a 'real' part of her life, you are just the son of a couple who occasionally stay in the hotel she works at. she has guessed correctly that you have a bit of a crush on her, and she is polite to you, but does not want to encourage that. this is why she (wisely) limited your access to her account.
from what you have told us, you have never had anything other than a professional relationship with her, despite your desire that it become something more. your viewpoint is entirely centered around yourself and what YOU want, so unless she has made you some very specific promises and/or commitment to you in some way, she owes you NOTHING. but all you can see is your own desire for this to be something other than what it is, and so you are justifying your desire, your actions and your behavior by vilifying hers. can you see this? this is what i am referring to, when i suggest you stop for a minute, sit down and reflect on how honest you are being with yourself. you actually feel justified in testing her honesty, by asking her a question to which you already know the correct answer. she gave you an off the cuff answer to that question, one that you interpret as an outright lie, and so now you feel you have some right to feel indignant about it. good grief would you give your head a shake, she probably just doesn't have it in her to be ruthless with you....go ahead and keep pushing at her with this sense of entitlement you have, and see how quickly that changes.
you are not a victim. stop spinning the situation as though you are. she did nothing wrong. see this now, or go thru this experience again and again in your life, and see it somewhere down the line after you've been battered and bruised enough times to finally understand that you are the root cause of your experience. your own distorted viewpoint has got you by the nose, and the only one who can set you free...is YOU.
i do understand what you mean, yes. you feel she had somehow premeditated all of that, decided what she would allow you to see, and then planned to lie to you if you asked her about it.
just think about this for a minute.....do you really think she expected you to ask her about it? sorry to disillusion you, but someone's got to do it. it's not like the two of you had any type of relationship in which there was reciprocal commitment and responsibility to honor that relationship. you are crushing on someone who is living a life that does not include you in it, save for the rare occasion you stay in the hotel she works in. do you see how ego-centric you are being, do you see the sense of personal entitlement you are displaying, by presuming she owes you anything at all, including an explanation as to why she has limited your access to her account? she hardly gives you a second thought, nothing personal, you are simply not a 'real' part of her life, you are just the son of a couple who occasionally stay in the hotel she works at. she has guessed correctly that you have a bit of a crush on her, and she is polite to you, but does not want to encourage that. this is why she (wisely) limited your access to her account.
from what you have told us, you have never had anything other than a professional relationship with her, despite your desire that it become something more. your viewpoint is entirely centered around yourself and what YOU want, so unless she has made you some very specific promises and/or commitment to you in some way, she owes you NOTHING. but all you can see is your own desire for this to be something other than what it is, and so you are justifying your desire, your actions and your behavior by vilifying hers. can you see this? this is what i am referring to, when i suggest you stop for a minute, sit down and reflect on how honest you are being with yourself. you actually feel justified in testing her honesty, by asking her a question to which you already know the correct answer. she gave you an off the cuff answer to that question, one that you interpret as an outright lie, and so now you feel you have some right to feel indignant about it. good grief would you give your head a shake, she probably just doesn't have it in her to be ruthless with you....go ahead and keep pushing at her with this sense of entitlement you have, and see how quickly that changes.
you are not a victim. stop spinning the situation as though you are. she did nothing wrong. see this now, or go thru this experience again and again in your life, and see it somewhere down the line after you've been battered and bruised enough times to finally understand that you are the root cause of your experience. your own distorted viewpoint has got you by the nose, and the only one who can set you free...is YOU.
thank you. valid points and something to learn from. I personally though would feel bad if i limited somoenes access to what they can view on my profile. If i am going to accept them on my profile, they can view everything just like everone else can who is on my profile. Its kinda like not inviting someone to your birthday party isnt it?
thank you. valid points and something to learn from. I personally though would feel bad if i limited somoenes access to what they can view on my profile. If i am going to accept them on my profile, they can view everything just like everone else can who is on my profile. Its kinda like not inviting someone to your birthday party isnt it?
I actually don't think it is, but even if it were, why would you expect to be invited to a birthday party for a girl you barely know outside of a customer relationship once or twice a year? It sounds like she was being polite to you giving you her FB in the first place, but maybe you read too much into it.
thank you. valid points and something to learn from. I personally though would feel bad if i limited somoenes access to what they can view on my profile. If i am going to accept them on my profile, they can view everything just like everone else can who is on my profile. Its kinda like not inviting someone to your birthday party isnt it?
THe part you keep missing is that this is your perspective, but not everyone's perspective. The way you do things, you can't expect everyone else to do them the same as you or according to your standards.
My SO has people on his FB who he doesn't want to burn bridges with, but doesn't want them overly invested in his private business, so he has them restricted to what he can see. I choose not to have any FB friends that I don't want seeing my entire profile, which is why I have only 41 FB friends.
To each their own is a phrase you need to learn and understand.
Ok, well im not sure if this thread goes here, but this is a facebook related thread.
So, i have this ''friend'' on facebook who i usually see when i go on vacation, she works at a hotel i stay in.
(A small backstory, im attracted to her- and so last year when i saw her i decided to take a chance and tell her that im attracted to her- but she wasnt interested and said she is in a relationship.)
So, i noticed that on her facebook profile that i can never see her pictures or her status updates, pretty much everything. I decided to send her a message to ask her why i cant see anything on her profile.
(Everyone who has a facebook profile will obviously know why this is- because she has blocked my access).
And she replied back saying that she doesent know, maybe it is something to do with my settings. She is obviously lying...should i send her a message back and say ''whatever, you blocked me'" or should i not bother?
I don't even understand what you mean.
Get off your computer, go outside, and talk to one of the millions of single women out there.
Get off your computer, go outside, and talk to one of the millions of single women out there.
Exactly! I just read your other thread and you sound very needy, and like you don't have much of a life in "real life". It sounds like you have some sort of invisible contract with girls who talk to you, where they owe you something but never agreed to the contract (because you didn't tell them they were signing it).
THe part you keep missing is that this is your perspective, but not everyone's perspective. The way you do things, you can't expect everyone else to do them the same as you or according to your standards.
My SO has people on his FB who he doesn't want to burn bridges with, but doesn't want them overly invested in his private business, so he has them restricted to what he can see. I choose not to have any FB friends that I don't want seeing my entire profile, which is why I have only 41 FB friends.
To each their own is a phrase you need to learn and understand.
Ok, well im not sure if this thread goes here, but this is a facebook related thread.
So, i have this ''friend'' on facebook who i usually see when i go on vacation, she works at a hotel i stay in.
(A small backstory, im attracted to her- and so last year when i saw her i decided to take a chance and tell her that im attracted to her- but she wasnt interested and said she is in a relationship.)
So, i noticed that on her facebook profile that i can never see her pictures or her status updates, pretty much everything. I decided to send her a message to ask her why i cant see anything on her profile.
(Everyone who has a facebook profile will obviously know why this is- because she has blocked my access).
And she replied back saying that she doesent know, maybe it is something to do with my settings. She is obviously lying...should i send her a message back and say ''whatever, you blocked me'" or should i not bother?
Yes, be honest
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