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Old 01-16-2013, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,026 posts, read 24,682,100 times
Reputation: 20165

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I'm a woman and I would have rather chew my own foot than see it !! However I suppose it depends on how much you like the girl ... If she looks like a potential ( even in the distant future) "keeper", a little compromise might be a good idea, after all , all relationships do rely on compromise and occasionally doing stuff you would rather not. It's about give and take.

So if you like her, remember it's only 2 and a half hours ( which might feel like a lifetime !) and who knows you might enjoy it !

If Hubby really wanted to see the blasted thing I would go to make him happy. Fortunately he has better taste than that ! Seriously though, when you genuinely like someone you make an effort and yes sometimes it might involve doing something which is not always to your liking.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,791 posts, read 34,596,352 times
Reputation: 77381
Quote:
Going with a woman to see Les Mis is not knuckling under. It's not turning in your man card. It's simply saying, "Hey, I like you enough to do whatever with you. So, sure, I'll try this." To me, that's really being more of a man than saying, "Oooooh, I don't like musicals."
And it keeps the relationship balanced. There are a lot of well-meaning guys who expect their wives/girlfriends to do what they want, but they whine like kids about returning the favor. Guess what, she didn't really want to spend an entire Saturday watching your softball tournament, so you can suck it up and go to Les Mis.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:12 AM
 
Location: NY
9,130 posts, read 20,092,199 times
Reputation: 11712
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
So? It's not an exchange of services or some kind of quid pro quo. On my third date with my wife, I dragged her to...drum roll please...a baseball game. She was a trooper about the thing, despite never having been to a baseball game in her life. And I thought to myself at the time, "Dang. This woman is really cool."

Here's the thing. The date is about the person, not the entertainment. If you like someone enough to date her, then you want to be with her regardless of what the entertainment might be. Otherwise, you're telling her that you only want to hang with her under certain rarefied circumstances.

Going with a woman to see Les Mis is not knuckling under. It's not turning in your man card. It's simply saying, "Hey, I like you enough to do whatever with you. So, sure, I'll try this." To me, that's really being more of a man (And a mature adult) than whining, "Oooooh, I don't like musicals."
+1.

Even as a second date, I think it is perfectly plausable. So you as the man give a little and see a movie she is excited to see (and since it is a 2nd date, excited to see with you!). In return, maybe on the third date, she gives you first dibs on the entertainment.

Refusing the request may send a signal of selfishness, or a signal of disinterest in the things she is interested in.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:13 AM
 
3,516 posts, read 6,802,021 times
Reputation: 5667
I saw the Black Swan on a first date. It may not have been the best idea.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Woodinville
3,184 posts, read 4,862,476 times
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I'd go see it if she wanted to but I wouldn't go otherwise. I kinda like theater and while generally I don't like movie versions as much, I still might like it.

She sat through Johnny English with me and she thought she'd hate it. She was laughing so hard at the chair scene that she was crying. Might as well repay the favor.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:15 AM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,312,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
I saw the Black Swan on a first date. It may not have been the best idea.
Why? It's such an upbeat, optimistic film, one that inspires a love of humanity and a sense of life's possibilities.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: NY
9,130 posts, read 20,092,199 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeShoreSoxGo View Post
You are a mangina if you take a chick to this movie
So shoot for a Terminator-like movie or bust?
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:24 AM
 
Location: not where you are
8,759 posts, read 9,501,798 times
Reputation: 8334
To be honest, I think it would inconsiderate of a lady to suggest such a movie as a first or second date, same for a guy suggesting something that he would think may not have appeal to his new date. I wouldn't want to put someone, I'm just getting to know, through something like that.

Now if we've been dating for a while, there's no limit to the torturous venues I will require he attend. I recall many years ago having my guy take me to see Terms of endearment, he lucked out, it was sold out, to his great delight, we ended up seeing Scareface. I wasn't happy after that movie, he on the other hand was smiling ear to ear.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:27 AM
 
3,516 posts, read 6,802,021 times
Reputation: 5667
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Why? It's such an upbeat, optimistic film, one that inspires a love of humanity and a sense of life's possibilities.
We were doing alright until the psychosexual lesbian scene. Brookies are such squares, you know?
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,891,509 times
Reputation: 41447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer View Post
I'm a woman and I would have rather chew my own foot than see it !! However I suppose it depends on how much you like the girl ... If she looks like a potential ( even in the distant future) "keeper", a little compromise might be a good idea, after all , all relationships do rely on compromise and occasionally doing stuff you would rather not. It's about give and take.

So if you like her, remember it's only 2 and a half hours ( which might feel like a lifetime !) and who knows you might enjoy it !

If Hubby really wanted to see the blasted thing I would go to make him happy. Fortunately he has better taste than that ! Seriously though, when you genuinely like someone you make an effort and yes sometimes it might involve doing something which is not always to your liking.
Quote:
Even as a second date, I think it is perfectly plausable. So you as the man give a little and see a movie she is excited to see (and since it is a 2nd date, excited to see with you!). In return, maybe on the third date, she gives you first dibs on the entertainment.

Refusing the request may send a signal of selfishness, or a signal of disinterest in the things she is interested in.
I stand by my originial opinion and I will add this on. A request like that in my view is something that has to be earned and is earned by being granted the title of boyfriend or girlfriend and is only proper in a committed relationship. I think it is only proper. The best strategy on the first 2 or 3 dates is to do gender neutral things you will both enjoy or do something for the first time you BOTH have interest in.
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