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Meetup groups are a MUCH better way to meet people if you are unsure of online dating. Plus, to join Meetup is free. You only pay for the events that you attend and the benefits of meeting a diverse number of people of the opposite sex in situations where you have something in common, are much better odds than investing in an online dating profile of a person who more than likely isn't who they say they are. Just look at what happened to that Notre Dame football player Manti Teo. Yikes.
I personally tried online dating with several sites; OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, Match and even Christian Singles. OKCupid's dating crowd is a level above those trolling for dates on Plenty of Fish. OKCupid is free (same with Plenty of Fish). eHarmony was a rip-off and made communication difficult. Plus I noticed that a lot of men on eHarmony also had profiles up on Match at the same time, trying to cover their dating bases. I went on a ton of first and second dates, and met a crazy guy off of eHarmony who called me a few choice words on a date when I told him I couldn't see a 3D movie because 3D makes me dizzy. He refused to compromise to see a normal movie, called me some nasty names, and I took a cab home from the movie theater and changed my number. I had a relationship with a guy I met on Match, who I thought was "the one." Well, he was "the one," alright. The one who lied about being divorced (he was only separated), about being single (he was dating his coworker when he and I met) and being monogamous (when I confronted him after catching him in many lies, he admitted he was sleeping with his coworker too - I made him get tested for STDs and got tested myself). We dated for a year. Because of that amount of deception, I refuse to trust my dating life to online dating ever again. I know that it can work for some people but it's not for me. I've met a lot of great guys to date and become friends with via the Meetup groups I belong to. I trust Mother Nature over online dating.
Going by "barb", I'm assuming you're a girl, and I was under the impression that women never have to pay for posting a listing on a dating service.
This used to be (and possibly still is) the case on the casual-sex-oriented sites, since those sites tend to attracted many times more men than women. For regular mainstream dating sites, which attract similar numbers of men and women, the pricing is the same regardless of sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
To be fair many years ago some dating sites did have free profiles for women. I had one on Match over 10 years ago.
Having a profile on Match is free for both men and women. Having a subscription, which allows you to send and receive messages, costs money for both men and women.
Nope. This used to be (and possibly still is) the case on the more casual-sex-oriented sites, since those sites tend to attracted many times more men than women. For regular mainstream dating sites, which attract similar numbers of men and women, the pricing is the same regardless of sex.
Having a profile on Match is free for both men and women. Having a subscription, which allows you to send and receive messages, costs money for both men and women.
I meant I was able to send and receive messages without paying. This was many years ago and not sure how I got it free because at the time I didn't pay.
I meant I was able to send and receive messages without paying.
Like I said, nope.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou
This was many years ago and not sure how I got it free because at the time I didn't pay.
It might have been a free trial period of some sort. There may have been a time when mainstream sites gave free memberships to women and not men, but if so that must have been more than 8 or 10 years ago, because I've known women and men who have paid to use them for at least that long.
It might have been a free trial period of some sort. There may have been a time when mainstream sites gave free memberships to women and not men, but if so that must have been more than 8 or 10 years ago, because I've known women and men who have paid to use them for at least that long.
This was I want to say around 2000 or so? It was a very long time ago and I didn't even have a computer then. It could have been a trial I don't remember, all I know is I deleted the profile and subscribed (with money)around 2006.
This was I want to say around 2000 or so? It was a very long time ago and I didn't even have a computer then. It could have been a trial I don't remember, all I know is I deleted the profile and subscribed (with money)around 2006.
Interesting. Maybe that was just how it worked way back in 2000. I can imagine in the earlier days of online dating the sites attracted a lot of awkward men and not a lot of women who wanted to date them, so they had to provide incentive. Now that it's a pretty mainstream way of meeting dates for both men and women (and has been since at least 2006), they haven't needed to do that.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date men with kids. I don't date men with kids either, but I don't say never...if I met the right guy I might be willing to compromise. The point I was making is you don't mention anything else in your dating criteria. It seems like you don't care about personality or looks or anything but that they are never married with no kids.
I wonder how many years people search with no luck.
Still looking.
I know three couples who are now married who met on eHarmony 5 years ago. It seems like it worked better for people then than it does now based on conversations I've had with my friends and acquaintances-at least that seems to be the case in this area. I was recently told I needed to try it again and give it at least a year if I wanted any chance of it being successful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Seriously...no offense, but you have issues. There is a LOT more to a person than never married and childless. Do your personalities mesh well together, do you have common interests, are you physically attracted to one another? If this is the only way by which you measure compatibility than no wonder you are striking out all over the place.
I have to agree with this. It's like me saying I will only date another widowed person. (Which would be a very small pond to fish in in my desired age range!) I've met a few widowers who are great guys but a shared loss is not enough to make a relationship work. One I communicated with via CL was nice enough but it was quickly evident we had absolutely nothing to talk about.
I signed up at match.com, paid about $100 for 6 months and regretted it 2 days later. Wanted to cancel, but it wasn't possible.
I sent emails to about 50 guys and had either no responses or they stopped writing after 2 short emails back and forth.
I have received alot of emails though from guys that I would never date (much shorter than me, much younger or very much older, quasimodos).
Fazit: I thought if I stay on that page any longer, I get very depressed and insecure. Insecure because the guys that I find compatible dont want me and no - I am not looking above my league. I contacted those kind of guys who I dated in the past. Also insecurities started because quasimodos think I am in their league.
I found it interesting that most acceptable looking guys my age (36-40) are looking for girls TO MARRY in the age group 21-34. What does a 40 year old want with a 21 year old??
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Seriously...no offense, but you have issues. There is a LOT more to a person than never married and childless. Do your personalities mesh well together, do you have common interests, are you physically attracted to one another? If this is the only way by which you measure compatibility than no wonder you are striking out all over the place.
