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I’m new to this – I’m trying – not always very well – to be honest with my complicated sexuality now (I still have interest in girls, but I can’t keep ignoring my obvious interest in guys anymore.) So as a dude that’s a novice, I need help with interpreting signals.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I was at a financial institution getting some money out. The guy helping me was a good-looking dude, but I was just getting money and I really wasn’t thinking about that much. However, at the end of the transaction, I noticed him smiling at me. It didn’t seem flirtatious, but to me the smile definitely seemed to indicate something about our interaction made him interested. I can’t really explain the feeling – it just seemed like “something.” Nevertheless, it made me quite intrigued and interested. I stopped by a couple days later and he was working at the entrance station. I was directed to ask him a financial institution related question and he was smiling at me like that even more so that before.
One week later, I needed to stop by the financial institution again to deposit a check. The guy was there but wasn’t working with customers at the time, so I went to another line. Nevertheless, I looked over at him on my way out. He kind of caught my glance for a second with an acknowledgment, and then seemed to turn away kind of embarrassingly. As I passed by, I simultaneously said “how’s it going” while he said “hi.”
So my questions for you guys are:
1. Do you think he’s interested in me?
2. If he’s interested in me, do you think I’m communicating that I’m interested in him?
3. If he’s straight, or otherwise not interested in me, do you think my behavior is “safe” enough that it’s nothing beyond being bro-friendly?
4. Assuming #1 is true, how should I proceed? I’m not going to have an endless supply of financial transactions (I can use an ATM!) and I don’t know whether he’d be allowed to proceed anyway. Plus, I’m not sure I really want to do this. I still have interest in girls, and I’m Christian, so this feels wrong and sinful. But I have been thinking about this guy A LOT for the past week or so.
I’m new to this – I’m trying – not always very well – to be honest with my complicated sexuality now (I still have interest in girls, but I can’t keep ignoring my obvious interest in guys anymore.) So as a dude that’s a novice, I need help with interpreting signals.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I was at a financial institution getting some money out. The guy helping me was a good-looking dude, but I was just getting money and I really wasn’t thinking about that much. However, at the end of the transaction, I noticed him smiling at me. It didn’t seem flirtatious, but to me the smile definitely seemed to indicate something about our interaction made him interested. I can’t really explain the feeling – it just seemed like “something.” Nevertheless, it made me quite intrigued and interested. I stopped by a couple days later and he was working at the entrance station. I was directed to ask him a financial institution related question and he was smiling at me like that even more so that before.
One week later, I needed to stop by the financial institution again to deposit a check. The guy was there but wasn’t working with customers at the time, so I went to another line. Nevertheless, I looked over at him on my way out. He kind of caught my glance for a second with an acknowledgment, and then seemed to turn away kind of embarrassingly. As I passed by, I simultaneously said “how’s it going” while he said “hi.”
So my questions for you guys are:
1. Do you think he’s interested in me?
2. If he’s interested in me, do you think I’m communicating that I’m interested in him?
3. If he’s straight, or otherwise not interested in me, do you think my behavior is “safe” enough that it’s nothing beyond being bro-friendly?
4. Assuming #1 is true, how should I proceed? I’m not going to have an endless supply of financial transactions (I can use an ATM!) and I don’t know whether he’d be allowed to proceed anyway. Plus, I’m not sure I really want to do this. I still have interest in girls, and I’m Christian, so this feels wrong and sinful. But I have been thinking about this guy A LOT for the past week or so.
What should I do?
I know im a female and you want aguys advice but this statement caught my attention......i dont believe its wrong to be attracted to anyone and no religion should tell us otherwise.
i cant really advise you on how to approach your situation as ive never been in one like it but if this is your first guy on guy experiance i wouldnt advise you to go after someone who works in a place you attend as it could be awkward. why not go to a gay bar and see what you think ? if you think it appeals to you then pursue this other guy, ask him to go for a drink? thats safe enough.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Hmmm, a smile could mean so many things. I'm sure some women might be able to help you out as well, since they're apparently good at reading male romantic body language.
One of my best friends is gay, and he is TERRIBLE at it. He just is not a flirter, and he doesn't really show up on gaydar.
I think there's a good chance that he's interested. If you see him again, just ask him some friendly questions - nothing intrusive, but maybe what his weekend plans are or something. I dunno. I always chat with the counter people that I know if there's no line.
As for being Christian, well, you sleep with chicks outside of marriage, right? So you're not exactly holding to the Bible anyway. Moreover, Jesus never had much of anything to say about homosexuality, and most of the references in the Bible are in sections that Christians tend to ignore anyway. I don't understand why Christians get themselves into a froth over the gay when it is one of the least-discussed topics in the Bible.
As an atheist, I also tend to wonder about the insecurities and control-freakery of an all-powerful God that gets his panties in a twist over what his worshippers are eating or wearing. But that's just me.
With salespeople or people who work at a business, it is difficult to tell. Management of these businesses will come up with all sorts of schemes to get the employees to smile at and be friendly to the customers. So that same friendly smile could mean they are interested in you. Or it could mean the employee is trying to get a good job rating.
I would suggest wearing something that says you are gay. "Rainbow" stickers on cars generally indicate this. Maybe they have rainbow T-shirts? Or maybe even a T-shirt which says "Gay" on it. Then wear that in and see if he is *more* interested. Search google.com for the following words...
gay t-shirt
Then click on images.
As for men who are attracted to other men. They will look at you longer or look at you several times like when you are walking around or in a store. They also pretend to look at items on the shelf near you and will look sideways at you. To learn about that, make yourself look fat and ugly. Then go to several stores and notice how suddenly the few men who used to look at you are no longer looking! Also women will no longer flirt with you.
FYI - There is a female checker (same as men liking men) at the grocery store I go to who is totally rude and nasty to everyone. One day I went to her line - she gave me the biggest smile in the world and a very friendly greeting! I wondered what that was all about???? Then when she handed me my change and the receipt, she said I could go to the store's web site and give feedback on my shopping experience! (So THAT was why she was so friendly!)
One of my best friends is gay, and he is TERRIBLE at it. He just is not a flirter, and he doesn't really show up on gaydar.
I think there's a good chance that he's interested. If you see him again, just ask him some friendly questions - nothing intrusive, but maybe what his weekend plans are or something. I dunno. I always chat with the counter people that I know if there's no line.
As for being Christian, well, you sleep with chicks outside of marriage, right? So you're not exactly holding to the Bible anyway. Moreover, Jesus never had much of anything to say about homosexuality, and most of the references in the Bible are in sections that Christians tend to ignore anyway. I don't understand why Christians get themselves into a froth over the gay when it is one of the least-discussed topics in the Bible.
As an atheist, I also tend to wonder about the insecurities and control-freakery of an all-powerful God that gets his panties in a twist over what his worshippers are eating or wearing. But that's just me.
Actually, I haven't really slept with chicks outside of marriage. I've gotten to what is classically considered "third base" a couple of times, and didn't feel good about it. There might have been other reasons for this feeling - possibly it was too early in the relationship or she wasn't the right girl. Still, my tendency has been to believe all sexual relations outside opposite-sex marriage should be avoided. I don't think gay relations are any worse than unmarried straight ones. I don't completely know though - I'm starting to think that lifelong monogamous relationships of any type might have some validity. Plus, it's possible to be in a same-sex relationship and not do anything, but I don't think that would work too well.
For those of you who aren't gay guys, I had no intention of excluding you. I'd welcome all advice! They just pertain specifically to the topic, that's all.
Finally, Billy_J - I'm not wearing a t-shirt like that. Ever. Sorry. Thanks for the suggestion though.
I dont take a smile as any more than someone is feeling friendly, probably at that moment in time. Same way I take it from women. Personally, before I conclude that someone is attracted, interested in me as more than say a customer, co-worker or acquaintance, a few more things might need to happen.
Actually, I haven't really slept with chicks outside of marriage. I've gotten to what is classically considered "third base" a couple of times, and didn't feel good about it. There might have been other reasons for this feeling - possibly it was too early in the relationship or she wasn't the right girl. Still, my tendency has been to believe all sexual relations outside opposite-sex marriage should be avoided. I don't think gay relations are any worse than unmarried straight ones. I don't completely know though - I'm starting to think that lifelong monogamous relationships of any type might have some validity. Plus, it's possible to be in a same-sex relationship and not do anything, but I don't think that would work too well.
For those of you who aren't gay guys, I had no intention of excluding you. I'd welcome all advice! They just pertain specifically to the topic, that's all.
Finally, Billy_J - I'm not wearing a t-shirt like that. Ever. Sorry. Thanks for the suggestion though.
I would say you shouldn't enter into any relationships with guys until you resolve your discomfort. Some of the worst train wrecks I've seen have been between gay men, when the one guy couldn't fully be comfortable with the concept of a same-sex relationship. Hang out in some gay bars. Make some friends with gay guys. Feel free to push your comfort zones, but don't do anything that feels wrong to you. There's no rush. Do what's right for you; be honest; be kind and don't get discouraged.
He's not interested in you. He's a bank teller, he's supposed to greet you with a smile.
Wow.
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They just pertain specifically to the topic, that's all.
