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I am nervous about dating because I still live with my parents. Is it possible to date at my age and still live at home?
What do you have going for yourself?
two or three jobs?
going to school full-time?
going to school and working on pursuing your own business??
volunteer often?
What do you do with your life? Staying with your parents can be overlooked if you are doing something besides sitting at home, playing games, and your only contribution to the family is taking out the trash. Do you help out in the home? Pay some of the bills? Get some groceries? Help with cooking and cleaning? Run errands? What do you have to offer besides I'm a nice guy and know how to treat womyn?
These threads defending grown men and women with jobs still living at home always fail to acknowledge the burden they place on the parents. Even if mom and dad seem "happy" to help, all that money you are saving by not paying rent is in a sense coming out of their pockets and well-being. They are deprived of privacy, their costs are higher and they remain in the parental position of worrying about you when you come home late, get sick, feel depressed or whatever. As a parent with an adult child, I can assure you I sleep better and worry less when she is off at college and I am unaware of her day to day activities. It takes its toll.
Moochers who save up hundreds of thousands to buy a home for cash should at least give some to the homeowner in the form of rent or help paying off the mortgage. There is no such thing as a free lunch, even if you are Mommy's Little Prince or Daddy's Little Princess.
Once again, if your act of moving out to live on your own will result with 10,000$ of extra costs (or more), you should rethink of your priorities. Thing that you mention is when adult people act like children - they earn their money and they spend it without giving a portion of the money to their parents... and the ones who simply never happen to do anything around the house either. Some people think that "independence" is the money they earn. Wrong. Some people think that it's the job they do around the house. Wrong again. You need to do both.
You should learn how to iron your clothes, wash your socks and stuff, cook some meals, fix things around the house, make house tidy... and have active habits in keeping order in your house (e.g. using your vacuum cleaner on approximately regular basis to keep the house clean, even if that means vacuuming the house/room once per week). It costs you nothing and it creates a nice habit for the times when you move out to live alone.
And when it comes to monetary independence, mere sense that you need to give certain portion of your money (which should be more than it costs to buy food and pay the bills that you made) is preparing you for monetary independence one day when you move out and live alone.
When it comes to monetary independence, it means earning money. People make wrong assumptions that "doing a low paid job" is a bad thing. Wrong. Bad thing is sitting home. When you come to your employee, he looks at you differently when he sees that you have working experience, even if it's working as a construction worker. It suggests that you have working habits... once again, it's all about habits. And if you are careful how you spend your money, you can save some money each month. Some people can earn a whole lot but are very careless and they spend it all month by month, even if they earn three times more than another guy who is looks how to spend his money in best way possible.
Like heck. That's just rationalizing on your part. If somebody has to live with the folks at age 27, then this is someone who just is perhaps a little too comfortable in the nest. While that person is still basically suckling the teat, he is not learning how to manage on his own, make a real budget, take care of his house, do his laundry, cook his meals and a thousand other little survival skills that makes one an adult.
What's more, when in God's name did trying to make your way in the world equate to making a grab for status? If anything is an idiot way of thinking, that is.
And the other thing? The problem with that saving of money? It's never enough for many of these perpetual manchildren. My brother-in-law is still living with my in-laws at age 46. He is part owner of an engineering firm with international contracts, drives a used car 1.5 hours to the office each way daily, and lives in the basement. He doesn't own a stick of furniture, my mother-in-law makes his meals and does his laundry, and he has zero life. None. And he still stresses about spending money. He'll die in that cavernous house one day, bloated and wearing the largest possible giveaway polo shirt they make, all because he never learned to take care of anything beyond his bank account.
It's a sad and pointless existence. Life's a banquet. Suit yourself if you choose to starve yourself.
Amen. I lived at home till I was 26. Well past my sale by date too. One thing I realized is I immediately got more respect from women because, not only was I living on my own, I was paying all my bills on my own. For me, I'm not going to take a woman seriously who lives at home, but doesn't have much of a plan to leave the nest. I dealt with it a lot when I lived at home and it was so embarrassing to hit it off with a girl, but the moment you say you live at home still, the conversation would just change. Call us shallow or whatever, but you learn a hell of a lot from footing the bill on your own.
If you come home from work with a sink full of dishes and trash all over the place, it's your place and you can do what you want with it. Those are generally things you can't do if still live with your parents. There's also a bit of right of passage to living on your own too. You understand struggles more. Just like there's a right of passage to marriage and a right of passage with kids. There's a different level of respect that comes with those advances in life.
I will say this, what kept me at home so long was a combination of being underpaid and having not completed my college degree. Once my degree and pay came up, I was ready to move out. I was ready to make that next step in my life.
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It's about earning your keep. I'm not asking for a woman to be super thin either. Attraction plays a big part, but I'm more attracted by being self sufficient than eye candy. Two things in life you can't escape are death and taxes. No matter what you do in life you are going to have bills. Even if you pay everything off, you still have utilities, food, phyiscal upkeep, and taxes. It's the not wanting to branch out and live on your own that is the problem.
I had that issue too and I wasted more money than I saved while I lived at home. Believe it or not, I SAVE more money living on my own now, because I know any hiccup I encounter, I have to be able to pay for it. When I was living at home I was essentially avoiding growing up. You can't live at home till everything falls into place. For me, my pay was just enough to allow me to live on my own, and enjoy a premium cable and internet package. I have no movie channels, but I have what I want to get by.
Living on your own just shows that you at least have some sort of goal and can, even with a roommate, handle your end of the bills. Debt is just a part of life. It's how you manage your debt that really matters!
Last edited by RedZin; 01-29-2013 at 12:53 PM..
Reason: Deleted quoted post
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