Can an abused girl also become an abuser herself? (dating, married, girls)
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My parents were physically abusive. My first relationship was physically abusive. So I did turn abusive as a protection mechanism. I've grown out of that though. But I'm living proof that many people respond to their environment.
I'm glad that you changed your circumstances. It seems like it would be a hard pattern to break.
Met a woman at a bar a few years ago. Had a drink with her, walked her out to her car and gave her a hug and good night peck. We exchanged numbers. I Made the mistake of giving her my business card, where she proceeded to do a background check on me and finding out my entire history,where I lived, what houses Ive owned, where I went to school etc. It got ugly and she turned into a Stalker.
Met a woman at a bar a few years ago. Had a drink with her, walked her out to her car and gave her a hug and good night peck. We exchanged numbers. I Made the mistake of giving her my business card, where she proceeded to do a background check on me and finding out my entire history,where I lived, what houses Ive owned, where I went to school etc. It got ugly and she turned into a Stalker.
Omg that's messed up.....I hope you learned never to give out your business card again
Omg that's messed up.....I hope you learned never to give out your business card again
Yep, lesson learned quickly. I give out my business partners card now.
Back to the OP. I believe the majority of people that suffer from abuse are normal folks just like you and me that have pulled though it. The lucky ones learn and grow from the experience.
Yep, lesson learned quickly. I give out my business partners card now.
Back to the OP. I believe the majority of people that suffer from abuse are normal folks just like you and me. The lucky ones learn and grow from the experience.
I think recognizing the early indicators are vital as well. The problem is that people become blinded by love and by the time they become victims of abuse they are emotionally attached to their abuser. It's a slow boil. That's how it happened to me, and I'm sure that is the case for many victims of abuse.
I think recognizing the early indicators are vital as well. The problem is that people become blinded by love and by the time they become victims of abuse they are emotionally attached to their abuser. It's a slow boil. That's how it happened to me, and I'm sure that is the case for many victims of abuse.
Has this been with you and all of your relationships or just the one?
Has this been with you and all of your relationships or just the one?
Just the one. While I lacked the brainpower to break things off with her, once we split up (she dumped me) it was a clean break for me. By this I mean that I knew at the time that I had put up with too much and resolved to never let it happen again.
Just the one. While I lacked the brainpower to break things off with her, once we split up (she dumped me) it was a clean break for me. By this I mean that I knew at the time that I had put up with too much and resolved to never let it happen again.
IME we can carry it into our relationships without even realising.....then when we look back think I shouldn't have out up with that or what the hell was I thinking
If she doesn't know the difference she'll go from relationship to relationship doing the same things she learned until someone convinces her that what she's doing is wrong and takes steps to stop doing those things.
IME we can carry it into our relationships without even realising.....then when we look back think I shouldn't have out up with that or what the hell was I thinking
I do agree with you. What's amazing to me looking back, I don't even fit this mold. My parents were always very good to each other. I did not come from an abusive home. I just let myself become more entrenched in a relationship I knew was toxic, yet didn't have the will power to bail. This is why I can't honestly consider myself a victim in the traditional sense of the word. I knew I deserved better treatment from my girlfriend. I knew I could find it with someone else. I guess I was just too lazy to put that knowledge to action.
During this time I never sought support from anyone. I wanted to feel like I still had some control and was too embarrassed to admit to anyone that I had been assaulted numerous times by my own girlfriend. Like I said a few posts back, it was a slow boil. By the time it reached this point I think I just wanted more than anything to believe that it would one day be better. At least that's how it seems in retrospect. I really can't think of any good reasons for staying with this person as long as I did.
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