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I'm from a fairly small town. I married my college sweetheart and felt sure after our divorce that if I didn't move away I'd be single forever. So, now here I am in Denver, and dating is harder here than back home! I know of 2 women back in my home town who joined match and ended up hitting it off with someone and deleting their profiles after only meeting a couple of people. I've probably met 30 different people here and none of them stuck for a LTR. There are more options in a big city and I think that's the problem. You do ONE thing someone doesn't like and they just log back on and find someone else because there ARE so many other options. It's easy for someone to date multiple people at once where you're living with a couple million people. But, in a small town there aren't so many options, so I think people are more willing to stick with the same person and see if there's a real connection there. Every place and situation is going to have challenges when it comes to dating.
I would guess a median size city is ideal. Too small is bad because you don't get enough choices, too big like NYC is bad because it is harder to stand out...
It's true that online dating results in a poverty of riches, where daters can't commit because of nagging discontent and feeling that a substantial upgrade is available for trivially small extra effort. But this is a problem with online dating in general, not just small town vs. big city. The online world is large, even in small towns.
The advantage of the city is of course greater for some interests than for others. Are you a traditionally observant member of a small, obscure religion, and wish to date only within your faith-group? Then your odds are much better in the huge city with its various ethnic options, than in a small-town. Maybe you have unusual and unpopular lifestyle choices, such as child-freedom? Child-free people are much easier to find in large cities, first because of the basic numbers game, and second because urban culture is less conservative and more likely to not denigrate voluntarily not having kids. Maybe you're Italian/Moroccan/Lithuanian/etc. and you'd like to marry an Italian/Moroccan/Lithuanian/etc. young lady? Good luck finding that in a small Midwestern ex-industrial town.
And one more consideration. If you're lucky enough to have a good job in that dead-end small town, you're a novelty, in a bad sense. Women would resent the class-tension. In a large city, there are lots of well-healed professionals, with whom it's easier to fit in; and presumably a better dating pool.
I'm from a fairly small town. I married my college sweetheart and felt sure after our divorce that if I didn't move away I'd be single forever. So, now here I am in Denver, and dating is harder here than back home! I know of 2 women back in my home town who joined match and ended up hitting it off with someone and deleting their profiles after only meeting a couple of people. I've probably met 30 different people here and none of them stuck for a LTR. There are more options in a big city and I think that's the problem. You do ONE thing someone doesn't like and they just log back on and find someone else because there ARE so many other options. It's easy for someone to date multiple people at once where you're living with a couple million people. But, in a small town there aren't so many options, so I think people are more willing to stick with the same person and see if there's a real connection there. Every place and situation is going to have challenges when it comes to dating.
you would think in Denver men would be dying for girls since its suppose to have a majority male populace.
Small cities are just as bad at dating as big cities like NYC or DC which I have heard plenty of complaints about. Best ideal city for dating is probably a small mixed city of urban and suburban character. I'm from NYC and its not easy here either. Dont get me wrong its easy to meet women and get her number, after that it becomes a numbers game, what type of job do you have, is she wondering if you are attractive and she will ask her friends for advice which generally will turn into a negative answer from her friends and a negative response from her. Also everyone here is looking for something that is better than them in terms of money, career, education, looks or if not similar. Average people dont want to date average people. Also last in a big city like NYC one has to stand out from the rest plus you have to be in some sort of social circle like a Yuppie circle, or Ghetto urban, Hipster or Emo Subcultures, or immigrant, if your not part of these circles dating will become increasingly difficult. I visited Charlotte NC and I posted an add on CL M4W and I got like a dozen responses from women, If I made that same post in NYC I would have been lucky only to get 1. Different parts of America has different dynamics when it comes to dating.
Depends on the city. Dallas is a struggle for guys for example due to the fact that outnumber woman here.
My brief time in Chicago was great. I met several single girls early on and was dating a girl 3 weeks after I arrived. Granted that does not accurately portray Chicago as a whole. I found integrating and meeting new people as a whole much easier in Chicago than at any time in Dallas or Montana. Same with LA. I only lived in California for 3 months. Yet I've met and been with more woman in LA than the small town I grew up in in MS. So different things figure in, as if it's saturated with your gender, it will be difficult, but yes, a larger city generally makes it easier since there are more options and more activities, functions, locations, etc to meet someone.
Depends on the city. Dallas is a struggle for guys for example due to the fact that outnumber woman here.
My brief time in Chicago was great. I met several single girls early on and was dating a girl 3 weeks after I arrived. Granted that does not accurately portray Chicago as a whole. I found integrating and meeting new people as a whole much easier in Chicago than at any time in Dallas or Montana. Same with LA. I only lived in California for 3 months. Yet I've met and been with more woman in LA than the small town I grew up in in MS. So different things figure in, as if it's saturated with your gender, it will be difficult, but yes, a larger city generally makes it easier since there are more options and more activities, functions, locations, etc to meet someone.
Were those women you met in Chicago, are thet Chicago natives or were these women from another region. I had known for sometime that Transient people tend to date other Transient people and not so much with locals.
It's true that online dating results in a poverty of riches, where daters can't commit because of nagging discontent and feeling that a substantial upgrade is available for trivially small extra effort. But this is a problem with online dating in general, not just small town vs. big city. The online world is large, even in small towns.
The advantage of the city is of course greater for some interests than for others. Are you a traditionally observant member of a small, obscure religion, and wish to date only within your faith-group? Then your odds are much better in the huge city with its various ethnic options, than in a small-town. Maybe you have unusual and unpopular lifestyle choices, such as child-freedom? Child-free people are much easier to find in large cities, first because of the basic numbers game, and second because urban culture is less conservative and more likely to not denigrate voluntarily not having kids. Maybe you're Italian/Moroccan/Lithuanian/etc. and you'd like to marry an Italian/Moroccan/Lithuanian/etc. young lady? Good luck finding that in a small Midwestern ex-industrial town.
And one more consideration. If you're lucky enough to have a good job in that dead-end small town, you're a novelty, in a bad sense. Women would resent the class-tension. In a large city, there are lots of well-healed professionals, with whom it's easier to fit in; and presumably a better dating pool.
I can't rep you enough here. The MAIN problem is that people want to play the option game, but what they fail to realize, is after playing options for a couple of years, that's all your left with is options. You failed to settle down with someone, and in the end, all those options fail to settle down with each other. Everyone will date around with each other, but never truly try and get to know one person.
If you had endless samples at your disposal, why would you ever pay for one? That's the mindset everyone has online, and quite frankly, you can't convey how cool or uncool you are online. There's so much that's left out with reading text and looking at pictures, that you're left looking for a reason not to go out with the person.
I know a few people who have had great success online. I've done it off and on for 3 years and I had one relationship materalize. I have much better luck in real life, because for me, it's hard to convey my looks or personality through text and pictures. I'm not the best photogentically and I'm not going to be able to convey my personality in 3 or 4 short sentences. I still try online dating and I have went out with plenty of friendly dates, but I have backed off the idea of taking an online relationship and making it serious. I'm saving that effort for meeting someone in real life, unless I met someone online and they truly changed my outlook on the matter.
Were those women you met in Chicago, are thet Chicago natives or were these women from another region. I had known for sometime that Transient people tend to date other Transient people and not so much with locals.
One of them was a transient for sure, Canada. Another a local. Can't say about the others. But that makes sense, however, my experience in Dallas has been different. Looking back, the vast majority have been natives. Ex wife was born and raised in Dallas, as was the last 2 gf's. I did date a woman living in Dallas from Chicago back in 06, and there was the girl from Manhattan, but by and large, all were locals. Strange. Meanwhile, i've never been in a relationship with anyone from my homestate, however, only 3 of those years could be construed as "datable" as I was a kid the rest, lol.
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