Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It hasn't been that long. I'd guess all the things that bothered you about him six weeks ago are still true. It sounds like you stopped replying to him because he does drugs and is a womanizer and you needed to move on - I get it. I was thinking the other day about how some people we date just have that pull over us and it's really hard to stop thinking about them, hoping they'll change, hoping they'll morph into a good relationship partner. You have to tell your brain all the reasons that this guy is bad for you and don't reply to him. There are a lot of people out there who get a HUGE ego boost knowing someone is out there pining for them. And I think that's when they contact someone out of the blue. They want to know you're still an option. And that's the thing - don't just be someone's option.
It hasn't been that long. I'd guess all the things that bothered you about him six weeks ago are still true. It sounds like you stopped replying to him because he does drugs and is a womanizer and you needed to move on - I get it. I was thinking the other day about how some people we date just have that pull over us and it's really hard to stop thinking about them, hoping they'll change, hoping they'll morph into a good relationship partner. You have to tell your brain all the reasons that this guy is bad for you and don't reply to him. There are a lot of people out there who get a HUGE ego boost knowing someone is out there pining for them. And I think that's when they contact someone out of the blue. They want to know you're still an option. And that's the thing - don't just be someone's option.
THANK YOU! You understand. What an insightful post...I absolutely love "not being someone's option." I did just end things with him. Appreciate your feedback!
Nope, we never had sex. I may take your advice and ask him. I did like the guy, but he threw me some red flags... Bragging about being a player all over his Facebook and posting pics with a ton of different women all the time, drug use, and he doesn't live in my city full-time. Player.
Player, the bad ones always return. Sounds like a loser to me. Sorry to be judgemental, but I'm being honest. As you know, a man who has interest in a woman will not disappear for 6 weeks. Please update us, I suggest limiting the time you spend on this guy though. (depending on what you are looking for. Are you looking to be played? That is what players do you know.) Oh and the fact that you never had sex = unfinished business to him . . .
glad you ended it. Now let us know if he blows u up! lol
Last edited by lastwomanstanding; 03-06-2013 at 10:59 PM..
Reason: overloked update
I was dating a guy and didn't exactly end it. Just blew him off and stopped returning his phone calls. It's been over a month since we spoke! He calls a few days ago and informs me he's in town and wants to hang out this weekend. Is this a booty call? Am another chick on his list? Is he lonely? He definitely has some nerve!
Insights welcomed!
Uhh....when you blow me off, don't return my calls...it's ended. You're lucky if I keep your number, typically I'm so miffed that I'll delete it because I don't want to drunk call you at 1 in the morning talking about "we could've been great...think about our babies!"...
Also, I'm about to go on a major "out of the blue" calling marathon in a couple months. I liked those girls enough to want to talk to them again...that's all it means.
Probably not a booty call...it wouldn't be for me. He probably has the opportunity to meet up, and wants to...that's all I'd want.
Sorry but the op is right. If a man is interested, he's not letting 6 weeks go by for contact.
I call bull.
I've gone a year without contacting I was interested in. I'm actually in the middle of that process now...
Why didn't/don't I say anything?
There's nothing to say.
I'm not immediately available...and I've never been good at ld.
The girl wants what I can't provide yet.
The girl isn't available.
The girl just got out of a relationship and you don't want to be a rebound.
The girl is a "future" girl...in that presently, you're not looking for anything serious, but in the future you might be, and she'd be one you'd try that with.
The girl's stock is way too hot. You're not going to land a girl that has 20 guys after her...I mean, just be smart about it. Most girls are looking to get married at 23-26 (professional type girls)...so, if you know a 20 year old college girl, her stock is at the highest it'll probably ever be. And people are busy buying it. Instead, wait until her stocks cools off a bit then go for it. Until then, just be a "friend of a friend" of hers. In-contact acquaintances...Timing matters a lot, you know?
The trick is re introducing yourself back into her (inevitably changed) circle. But that's not that hard, just know who knows who...ask around "you know xyz?...and meet her somewhere. "Hey I know you..." "I'll call you...". Then, call her...ask her out....almost instant yes...one date, two date, third date at home...and boom, you're on the fast track to marriage and you're like "oh god, how do I get out of this....?"
People don't realize that getting out of relationships is the hardest part...
That's the part I suck at personally....4-5 months in I'm usually too hooked to stop it unless it's stopped for me.
Last edited by dub dub II; 03-07-2013 at 12:41 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
