Why do men like to stare at women, but not approach? (pickup, best)
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Yes it can. My friends watch porn a lot. If a woman is wearing yoga pants or tights that show off her butt, they don't feel anything towards her at all. Porn can kill a man's desire for a real woman.
That's freaky. That is a worrisome trend if true, like Philosophizer said.
And do you think this kills their drive to approach real women? Could you elaborate?
Porn addiction is real and is becoming more apparent in today's society. But it wouldn't kill their drive to approach women necessarily, in fact it will add the anxiety TO approach women. Excessive porn watching can change your view on either gender, so if it were a female, you're only going to think of her as a sexual being doing all these exotic things. The people who excessively watch porn in the first place are usually in no place to even get women. Heavy porn usage is bad, especially if you masturbate to it.
Honestly, I bet a huge portion of it can be attributed to heavy porn usage. An entire generation of young men stunted by fapping away to a computer monitor all day.
I can't neither agree nor disagree with this I think porn might have some effect but at the same time I am not so sure, porn has been around for a long time, maybe not as readily available but it was available back in let's say the 80's and watching porn doesn't teach a man that women are not available, instead it tells men that attractive women are easy and more than ready and willing to get laid so in any case watching so much porn should encourage men to approach on the belief that they will land a hot date easily, but I am not sure, maybe it offers an alternative to have a fantasy at home without having to actually go out and pursue a woman and maybe that gives enough satisfaction.
I'll end up getting rejected and at times rather rudely so approaching women to me is not an enjoyable thing it's a nerve racking thing that makes me feel worse about my plight with women aftewards
I've approached women in bars and in social settings, but I would NEVER approach on the street or in the grocery store!
why not? i have approached women in an airport. a grocery store? that is an ideal time to approach women. think about it, they are there for the same reason you are there, to shop for groceries. and being a guy, you can make it seem like you dont really know what you are doing, and get the help of that lovely lady you have your eye on. let her help you decide what fruits and vegetables are ready for buying, and how to store them, and how to check eggs for cracks in the shells, and where to get the best date codes for milk, and all kinds of other stuff. by the time the two of you have sauntered around the store and she has helped you pick out your items, you can then suggest that perhaps you should pay her back by making her dinner sometime, or at least let you buy her lunch somewhere sometime, and if she agrees you now have her number and her name, and what kind of food she likes, as well as all kinds of other information you got out of her, rather innocently i might add, in a relaxed atmosphere.
if you want to approach women, you cannot limit yourself to where you approach them. you never know where your next LTR will come from.
I rarely see any [socializing] in any of the markets I go to.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm
i have approached women in an airport. a grocery store? that is an ideal time to approach women. think about it, they are there for the same reason you are there, to shop for groceries. and being a guy, you can make it seem like you dont really know what you are doing, and get the help of that lovely lady you have your eye on.
A young man goes to the market, to trade his wares. In the din of the crowded bazaar, from across the shadows, he notices the supple form of a delicate young lady, demurely going about her business, gliding to and fro. A tradesman calls for something, a cart passes by. Then the lady again. Her eyes flash from the shadows, and the young man is smitten! And then - and then! - their eyes lock together, crowd and bustle be damned, and instantly their hearts leap in ineffable mutual fondness....
What is this, Tales from the Arabian Nights? Sometimes I wonder whether some of the go-get 'em, "use your inner masculinity" posters are living on a different planet from that which I inhabit. On my planet, gentlemen, these wondrous tales of love engendered in the market, live in Scheherazade's lips, the stuff of myth and fantasy - and not attainable experience.
Last edited by ohio_peasant; 07-29-2014 at 04:46 PM..
This isn't about cold approaches, JBT. This is about putting yourself into environments where the ladies can get to know you and warm to you. And you'll have a similar chance to get to know them, and maybe discover they have intriguing qualities that cause you to view them as more attractive than you did at first sight. This is how it works for a lot of average people who don't otherwise get noticed.
Exactly.
This guy cold-approached me at a party. I thought he was out of his mind because he was not my type and there was something specific about him that was a deal breaker to me. He had an interesting story, so I wanted to know about his experience travelling the world. It took lot of talking, texting, unofficial dates before I realized that the more I got to know him, the more I started to like him. I even felt that I could live with that deal-breaker. Things ended up not working out between the two of us, but if he had given up when we first meet because he thought he was not my type, we would not get to know each other.
I think that's some of it, but I think there's also something much deeper going on. Fear of being unable to perform with a real, living, breathing partner. An inferiority complex that sets in by partaking in a voyeuristic activity all the time. I don't think it's healthy or natural to habitually expose yourself to such material. Admittedly, most of my thoughts on this are anecdotal based on what I've read here of all places, but I'm definitely seeing a trend and it's not getting near enough attention IMO.
Because it doesn't deserve a significant amount of attention except from those who have an agenda. For the millionth time video games, porn, the internet and other forms of media are not to blame for people's issues and shortcomings. They have themselves to blame for these issues. There is still a lot of guys out there who can moderately consume these things and yet still have decent relationships and can be decent people.
He was agreeing with you, and elaborating for those of us who are saying its ok to approach women in stores.
Gosh, you really are confused, aren't you?
Wow. I really effed up.
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This isn't about cold approaches, JBT. This is about putting yourself into environments where the ladies can get to know you and warm to you. And you'll have a similar chance to get to know them, and maybe discover they have intriguing qualities that cause you to view them as more attractive than you did at first sight. This is how it works for a lot of average people who don't otherwise get noticed.
