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I have a problem with being too nice and forgiving to the point that I lose the respect of my SO when she behaves in a way she knows she shouldn't. To other people though who do the same thing, I'm a real dick. I don't know how to be in between..
For each of the specific situations listed, what is the correct way to react so that you aren't disrespected, yet you aren't a dick either?
1. Gf gets mad and tries to shame me by demanding, "Take me home!" or pitches a fit in another way by getting mad, and refusing to talk. My reaction is to keep talking to her to try to fix her mood. I guess that's dumb and makes me look needy or whatever..
2. Gf has a habit of basically unintentionally ignoring large chunks of what I'm saying on the phone because she's trying to do other ***** that distracts her or, randomly starts a conversation with a family member. For this one I guess the best reaction is "I'll talk to you later when you're not busy."
3. She'll say something disrespectful or rude (possibly unintentionally bc English is her 2nd language but possibly not).
1. Give in to her demands. If she wants to be taken home, take her home and don't let her change her mind. If she gets mad, tell her you'll talk to her when she calms down and can behave as an adult. This will not go over well, just as a warning.
2. Say 'You're obviously busy, give me a call when you're free' and then hang up.
3. Tell her calmly why she's being disrespectful and then leave the situation. She sounds like a drama queen and that she loves the attention. Don't give her the satisfaction.
1. Gf gets mad and tries to shame me by demanding, "Take me home!" or pitches a fit in another way by getting mad, and refusing to talk. My reaction is to keep talking to her to try to fix her mood. I guess that's dumb and makes me look needy or whatever..
Take her home
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2. Gf has a habit of basically unintentionally ignoring large chunks of what I'm saying on the phone because she's trying to do other ***** that distracts her or, randomly starts a conversation with a family member. For this one I guess the best reaction is "I'll talk to you later when you're not busy."
You got it
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3. She'll say something disrespectful or rude (possibly unintentionally bc English is her 2nd language but possibly not).
Totally depends on if it's intentional or not. Different things are 'rude' in different cultures.
1. Give in to her demands. If she wants to be taken home, take her home and don't let her change her mind. If she gets mad, tell her you'll talk to her when she calms down and can behave as an adult. This will not go over well, just as a warning.
2. Say 'You're obviously busy, give me a call when you're free' and then hang up.
3. Tell her calmly why she's being disrespectful and then leave the situation. She sounds like a drama queen and that she loves the attention. Don't give her the satisfaction.
Makes sense, but here's another question; what do you do when you're taking her on the 20 minute car ride home after doing something like that? You just supposed to sit there in awkward silence with all that tension while the radio plays?
Also, how am I "f#cking up" by being nice to her and trying to talk her down from the immature fit she's in? Is it just simply making me look weak somehow or what?
Makes sense, but here's another question; what do you do when you're taking her on the 20 minute car ride home after doing something like that? You just supposed to sit there in awkward silence with all that tension while the radio plays?
Yep
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Also, how am I "f#cking up" by being nice to her and trying to talk her down from the immature fit she's in?
By doing it repeatedly instead of breaking up with her.
Makes sense, but here's another question; what do you do when you're taking her on the 20 minute car ride home after doing something like that? You just supposed to sit there in awkward silence with all that tension while the radio plays?
Also, how am I "f#cking up" by being nice to her and trying to talk her down from the immature fit she's in? Is it just simply making me look weak somehow or what?
Nah.. Make her walk home. That'll give her just enough time to cool off or grow up.
The age old culture excuse is the worst excuse in the book. All cultures demand respect, and only the bottom of the barrel people are disrespectful.
In some cultures looking each other in the eye is disrespectful.
In other cultures it is disrespectful not to look each other in the eye.
Cultural differences are quite real.
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