He broke up with me (friendzoned, Swedish, years, success)
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he said it was because we split the tab and that I suggested dates instead of letting him do it.
ummm. That sounds weird. Splitting the tab on the first date is not that uncommon. And don't ever hide your interests. You are who you are and someone will like you for it.
I think she is a girly girl, just not all the time. I don't know too many women that can pull of the Pin Up dresses that JJ seems to love and look good in them like I bet she does. I actually know ONE and she is very tall, slender, married, has chosen not to have children, very long almost black hair and loves the Pin Up dresses. All the other women I know are either not comfortable in them or would not look good in them because of height, weight, proportion or whatever the reason. Like me, I am very short and do not think I would look good in one of the pin up dresses, too short and small twins that would not hold those dresses up well anyway.
I think that there has been a lot of emphasis on how she looks and the fact that she landed another date. It really does not matter. I know a lot of gorgeous girls who also can not keep a man do to one reason or another. So its not always about looks but it is often about the manner in which a woman carries herself.
It is obvious that her issue has much more to do with the manner in which JJ interacts with men. What some are translating as "independent", others (including myself) are translating her mannerisms as "masculine". So she can wear all of the froufrou frilly pink dresses that she wants but if a guy feels like he is on a date with another guy based upon her actions then they are not going to tend to stick around (unless they are 'into' that).
It means not being a whiner and blaming other people for ones own undatability. Deciding that the entire other gender are jerks makes no sense when other people manage to find mates. These posters need to look in the mirror to find the lowest common denominator to their woes. It is them.
You know what? I have to agree with some of this, JJ seems like a great girl but if every interaction, every dating situation ends with some jerk being rude or inconsiderate...then isnt the 'picker' somewhat at fault as well? We all make choices if JJ keeps picking jerks, then of course they are at fault, but she may also need to make sure she is picking the right guys that will make her happy
I think that there has been a lot of emphasis on how she looks and the fact that she landed another date. It really does not matter. I know a lot of gorgeous girls who also can not keep a man do to one reason or another. So its not always about looks but it is often about the manner in which a woman carries herself.
It is obvious that her issue has much more to do with the manner in which JJ interacts with men. What some are translating as "independent", others (including myself) are translating her mannerisms as "masculine". So she can wear all of the froufrou frilly pink dresses that she wants but if a guy feels like he is on a date with another guy based upon her actions then they are not going to tend to stick around (unless they are 'into' that).
She is what she is. If she is masculine, then so am I. And somehow I managed to date a bunch of great guys before marrying and awesome one. Men are not all alike. For everyone who wants June Cleaver there are ones that one a modern, independent woman.
You know what? I have to agree with some of this, JJ seems like a great girl but if every interaction, every dating situation ends with some jerk being rude or inconsiderate...then isnt the 'picker' somewhat at fault as well? We all make choices if JJ keeps picking jerks, then of course they are at fault, but she may also need to make sure she is picking the right guys that will make her happy
Well according to the women on here all the men that JJ has interacted with in Cali are all D-bags, A-holes, and jerks. And now that she's moved to Boston the men there are also all are A-holes, D-bags, jerks.
She is what she is. If she is masculine, then so am I. And somehow I managed to date a bunch of great guys before marrying and awesome one. Men are not all alike. For everyone who wants June Cleaver there are ones that one a modern, independent woman.
You and JJ are two different people with two different experiences. There is a difference between being a tomboy and being a manly woman.
And there is obviously something missing from this whole discussion. I think that JJ is not being completely honest with herself (and therefore can not be honest about her real issues in her dealings with men) The majority of posters in this thread are NOT helping her by saying that its the guys who have the problems and that she is perfectly fine. Based on the tone of her posts she knows that on some level she has issues to work on regarding her relations with men.
Well according to the women on here all the men that JJ has interacted with in Cali are all D-bags, A-holes, and jerks. And now that she's moved to Boston the men there are also all are A-holes, D-bags, jerks.
Well according to the women on here all the men that JJ has interacted with in Cali are all D-bags, A-holes, and jerks. And now that she's moved to Boston the men there are also all are A-holes, D-bags, jerks.
This is an exaggeration. She was in a very bad location for dating before, a dating black hole. Now she's not. She's never said all the men in Boston are jerks, slime, etc. She's said she's had some dates that simply didn't work out (normal), and now this one, which she thought was going somewhere, but in the end .... wasn't. And when the guy announced that, it took her by surprise, and she was disappointed. That's all. She only posted here for support and for help processing what happened. She never called him a jerk, others here have. She, herself, has very sensibly said, "Oh well, he probably just found someone else. It happens."
I think she probably far prefers Boston to the dating black hole she was in before, and is still hopeful for the future.
FANS: stay tuned for her post-mortem on her Wednesday date with a new guy!
Well according to the women on here all the men that JJ has interacted with in Cali are all D-bags, A-holes, and jerks. And now that she's moved to Boston the men there are also all are A-holes, D-bags, jerks.
Exactly. And if you are a woman who happens to point out that JJ may need to take a look at herself we are called "b-words" and mean.
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