He broke up with me (yelling, NYC, aggressive, wear)
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Could someone kindly explain what "leading with a masculine foot" means? I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what the heck that means in 2013.
Without going too deep (and hoping to avoid the wrath of feminists) women who lead with a masculine foot tend to either completely ignore instinctual gender roles or they take on the gender role of the opposite sex. Sometimes it is subtle and other times it is overt. Either way most men tend to reject women who have too much of a masculine energy in the same way that women tend to reject men with too much of a feminine energy (no matter how "nice" he is)
Most men do not want to compete with their woman for the person in the relationship with the most masculine energy. Men do not want a partner who is also "competition" in general.
ETA: of course, people are going to frame this comment in terms of women have to be "meek" and men have to be "he-man" but it really takes away from the truth of the relationship (feminine/masculine) energy balance between women and men.
That's the definition that seems to be being used here. People are saying that Jet failed with this guy because she's too aggressive or assertive or whatever. If she were more feminine, meaning meek and demure and less, then the guy would have felt like a man and wouldn't have dumped her.
Well I say there is something wrong with the definition then. Why do women equate femininity with being meek, demure and less?? That is F*'d up. A woman can be strong, confident, successful, assertive and still be feminine!
Think of how much is ingrained in you if you equate being feminine as being negative.
I think she is a girly girl, just not all the time. I don't know too many women that can pull of the Pin Up dresses that JJ seems to love and look good in them like I bet she does. I actually know ONE and she is very tall, slender, married, has chosen not to have children, very long almost black hair and loves the Pin Up dresses. All the other women I know are either not comfortable in them or would not look good in them because of height, weight, proportion or whatever the reason. Like me, I am very short and do not think I would look good in one of the pin up dresses, too short and small twins that would not hold those dresses up well anyway.
This is basically it I'm more Mae West than Judy Garland, if that makes sense. Still feminine but with a little bit of bite. I think I scare a lot of dudes off...haha
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
For sure! These are a bargain, especially considering the fine tailoring and the extra fabric the full-skirt ones have. I wonder what the quality is like.
The quality is FANTASTIC and well worth the price. I've owned a few dresses by them over the years and just bought a bathing suit as well.
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Originally Posted by Rance
Maybe the guy has an issue with taller women. To bad...so sad...he knows not, what he misses.
He was 6'6...so it's a possibility, but I doubt it. He just wasn't that into me and the more I think about it, the more I realize I wouldn't have been happy if the relationships progressed any further. He didn't seem like he wanted to go out of his way at all for me, like doing simple things like meeting me at the train station when I came over to his place or giving me any type of compliment. I'm not one to demand compliments but it would have been nice to at least have him notice when I cut 6" off my hair and wore a nice dress to a date. He really just didn't seem to care.
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Originally Posted by SwedishViking
How do you manage to sound like the perfect girl while getting friendzoned?
I can tell you with 99% certainty that he did not break up with you for the reason he said,
he lost his attraction for you for one reason or another. most likely he's looking for a more girly girl, or he didn't approve of your looks, I'm not saying this to be an ass, I'm trying to give an honest reply (I have no idea what you look like).
It doesn't really matter if ur short in the looks department or if he wasn't into your personality, because regardless of which, you are not likely to be able to change neither.
If I were you and had a lot of interests in comon with a lot of guys i'd look around there though... some of your friends might hide it, while secretly wanting you for example... I know that this might make them stereotypical "niceguys" which most women hate, but they might diverge from that stereotype where it counts, and then again you are not "most women" are you?
Well it's probably true... I'm a perfectly nice guy (and "niceguy" but they have 0 to do with each other), but 90% of the time that doesn't quite come through..
Ha, it's actually kind of funny because most of my close guy friends are guys that friendzoned me in the past after I made moves on them. Romantic feelings just went away after a while and now we're great.
Feelings are feelings, and if you don't have them towards the other person there is nothing 'nice' you can do to change their mind.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
somebodynew, I appreciate your enthusiasm and unique sense of humor. Obviously, you and I have completely different definition of the word "confidence".
according to you, the word confidence means "not being a whiner and blaming other people for ones own undatability."
Well, Roosevelt once said "We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."
To me, confidence is a feeling that you think you are capable of doing something. It maybe make you optimistic and pleasing. It maybe a plus for you to enjoy doing thing and enjoy life. But confidence is not the feeling that you think you are better than others. That is crazy not confidence. Obviously, op has no problems showing her vulnerability, sensitivity, and insecurity. She doesn't mind sharing her rejection story with the total stranger here. Only a confident woman has the power to do that.
I have no ideas where did you get the idea that op is blaming the entire male gender for her "undatability."
Call me arrogant, but the dude op was interested in sounds like a world class loser. Yes, JJ does deserve somebody way better than him. Did he even graduate from high school?!
". He said he had a TON of fun with me, but saw me as more of a 'friend' than a 'girlfriend'." LOL,
Really?! Most humans aren't mean-spirited by nature, but they do so many awful things in dating such as stringing along or leading on.
[LEFT]
He might be the classic "nice guy", he is definitely not a good man. He also sounds like a true pick up artist, believe it or not, It's truly an art to lead someone on. You have to defy physics - keeping someone suspended in space for extended periods of time. This loser dude is the master.
JJ might not be the dating expert, none of us are. The problem definitely is not her. At least, not in this case.
No no, I don't think he was a loser, or a jerk. We just weren't compatible, no big deal The more I thought about it the more I realized I was probably so excited to have someone actually interested in me that I was covering up the potential red flags. I'm glad he didn't string me along, 2 months isn't long at all in the grand scheme of things. We had fun together and I'm glad it happened.
No no, I don't think he was a loser, or a jerk. We just weren't compatible, no big deal The more I thought about it the more I realized I was probably so excited to have someone actually interested in me that I was covering up the potential red flags. I'm glad he didn't string me along, 2 months isn't long at all in the grand scheme of things. We had fun together and I'm glad it happened.
Okay then, as long as you are happy about this experience.
somebodynew, I appreciate your enthusiasm and unique sense of humor. Obviously, you and I have completely different definition of the word "confidence".
according to you, the word confidence means "not being a whiner and blaming other people for ones own undatability."
Nah that was an example.
Quote:
Well, Roosevelt once said "We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."
To me, confidence is a feeling that you think you are capable of doing something. It maybe make you optimistic and pleasing.
I don't agree with that definition of confidence or its impact. Or at least that is not what I meant. Confidence is not feeling capable of doing something.It is the general sense of being capable. It is about how you feel about your self at the core, your sense of self worth. What you then present is not just pleasing, but wafts emotional health. It makes you more likely to be able to enjoy a range of humor. It is the thing that will tell others that you are likely to be able to meet the challenges of life in the future.
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It maybe a plus for you to enjoy doing thing and enjoy life. But confidence is not the feeling that you think you are better than others. That is crazy not confidence. Obviously, op has no problems showing her vulnerability, sensitivity, and insecurity. She doesn't mind sharing her rejection story with the total stranger here. Only a confident woman has the power to do that.
I am not sure what you are describing here. It has no part of anything that I have ever brought up.
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I have no ideas where did you get the idea that op is blaming the entire male gender for her "undatability."
I didn't. I was replying to someone else who jumped the manly band wagon.
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JJ might not be the dating expert, none of us are. The problem definitely is not her. At least, not in this case.
I am not sure to whom you are speaking! It does not seem to be me since I completely agree with this.
This is basically it I'm more Mae West than Judy Garland, if that makes sense. Still feminine but with a little bit of bite. I think I scare a lot of dudes off...haha
I always considered that a positive thing. If I was able to scare someone off, then he was not for me.
Without going too deep (and hoping to avoid the wrath of feminists) women who lead with a masculine foot tend to either completely ignore instinctual gender roles or they take on the gender role of the opposite sex. Sometimes it is subtle and other times it is overt. Either way most men tend to reject women who have too much of a masculine energy in the same way that women tend to reject men with too much of a feminine energy (no matter how "nice" he is)
Most men do not want to compete with their woman for the person in the relationship with the most masculine energy. Men do not want a partner who is also "competition" in general.
ETA: of course, people are going to frame this comment in terms of women have to be "meek" and men have to be "he-man" but it really takes away from the truth of the relationship (feminine/masculine) energy balance between women and men.
Nah. I am just going to say your entire assertion is just wrong. There is no "instinctual gender roles". Our biology is going to have a lot to say about reproduction and sexuality. But there is no reason to suspect there is any such thing as gender roles that are based in instinct and a lot of evidence to the contrary.
No no, I don't think he was a loser, or a jerk. We just weren't compatible, no big deal The more I thought about it the more I realized I was probably so excited to have someone actually interested in me that I was covering up the potential red flags. I'm glad he didn't string me along, 2 months isn't long at all in the grand scheme of things. We had fun together and I'm glad it happened.
Sorry it happened, but sounds like he just wasn't for you. Good luck
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I'm more Mae West than Judy Garland, if that makes sense. Still feminine but with a little bit of bite. I think I scare a lot of dudes off...haha
The more I thought about it the more I realized I was probably so excited to have someone actually interested in me that I was covering up the potential red flags. I'm glad he didn't string me along, 2 months isn't long at all in the grand scheme of things. We had fun together and I'm glad it happened.
