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You and JJ are two different people with two different experiences. There is a difference between being a tomboy and being a manly woman.
And there is obviously something missing from this whole discussion. I think that JJ is not being completely honest with herself (and therefore can not be honest about her real issues in her dealings with men) The majority of posters in this thread are NOT helping her by saying that its the guys who have the problems and that she is perfectly fine. Based on the tone of her posts she knows that on some level she has issues to work on regarding her relations with men.
This impression must come from somewhere beyond this thread because concluding that she is manish because she paid a tab and suggested a date is nuts.
You and JJ are two different people with two different experiences. There is a difference between being a tomboy and being a manly woman.
And there is obviously something missing from this whole discussion. I think that JJ is not being completely honest with herself (and therefore can not be honest about her real issues in her dealings with men) The majority of posters in this thread are NOT helping her by saying that its the guys who have the problems and that she is perfectly fine. Based on the tone of her posts she knows that on some level she has issues to work on regarding her relations with men.
I think some people are glossing over the girly aspects of her posts. I also think people are forgetting some of her posts that point out unusual challenges she faces. Like the guy she saw a couple of times that she hit it off with, except that he said he couldn't deal with the appearance of her wrists. (One aspect of her medical condition has something to do with fragile bones, so her wrists (or one of them) have been broken and didn't heal right.) It's easy for people of average or above-average appearance to toss around theories. It's a whole other thing to imagine walking through life in another person's shoes. I suspect that if J were petite and cute, guys would be all over her, and the fact that she's a gamer and mechanic/engineer would be an asset, not a liability.
I didn't insist, I offered and he accepted. Never once was it 'oh no, let me get this'.
Apparently, wanting to go see a movie and suggesting it was a no-no in his book
I'm never confident that things will work out. I've been 'friend zoned' too many times to assume it's going to work out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Thank you
I'm just frustrated about the whole situation. I thought 'we have too much in common' was a pretty funny reason to break up with someone, but he's probably the type of guy who goes after the completely wrong women and wonders why things never work out. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him it was his loss with a smile.
Then talked to my Mom who always makes me feel better
How do you manage to sound like the perfect girl while getting friendzoned?
I can tell you with 99% certainty that he did not break up with you for the reason he said,
he lost his attraction for you for one reason or another. most likely he's looking for a more girly girl, or he didn't approve of your looks, I'm not saying this to be an ass, I'm trying to give an honest reply (I have no idea what you look like).
It doesn't really matter if ur short in the looks department or if he wasn't into your personality, because regardless of which, you are not likely to be able to change neither.
If I were you and had a lot of interests in comon with a lot of guys i'd look around there though... some of your friends might hide it, while secretly wanting you for example... I know that this might make them stereotypical "niceguys" which most women hate, but they might diverge from that stereotype where it counts, and then again you are not "most women" are you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Oh good grief.
Well it's probably true... I'm a perfectly nice guy (and "niceguy" but they have 0 to do with each other), but 90% of the time that doesn't quite come through..
I am basing my opinion on her posts on C-D over the past few years. She tends to lead with a masculine foot.
And that is reason enough for her to be deemed not datable? Like, is leading with a masculine foot morally repugnant or something? I don't even know what leading with a masculine foot means. You see a lot of nonsense on this board that I consider bad advice. Among them is the tendency to think that all men are alike and all women are alike. A person who can support themselves, pay for a restaurant meal, lead in the workplace is not going to want to date a man who needs a simpering little girly girl. Does that make her manly? I don't think it matters because that is not a determining factor in someone who cannot find a mate.
I don't know who called what people jerks. And I certainly don't follow JJ's life. But it does not look to me like she is in the whiner camp that you see often enough on here that truly is limiting. She is duting herself off and getting back on the horse with a decent attitude. That speaks volumes about her likelihood of success in the future.
Well it's probably true... I'm a perfectly nice guy (and "niceguy" but they have 0 to do with each other), but 90% of the time that doesn't quite come through..
So if you are a "nice guy" doesn't that mean that you are not really a nice guy based on the recent thread where someone tried to prove a point that "nice guys" aren't nice?
So if you are a "nice guy" doesn't that mean that you are not really a nice guy based on the recent thread where someone tried to prove a point that "nice guys" aren't nice?
ugh. I get so tired of the anti-nice guy thing. Probably what Swedish Viking means is that he's a "good guy". This is the term the forum came up with awhile ago to indicate nice guys who aren't fake, and who aren't doormats.
oy.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-28-2013 at 01:24 PM..
ugh. I get so tired of the anti-nice guy thing. Probably what Big Swede means is that he's a "good guy". This is the term the forum came up with awhile ago to indicate nice guys who aren't fake, and who aren't doormats.
oy.
So in other words, he's a catch who hasn't been caught yet.
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