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Old 05-28-2013, 08:59 AM
 
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I always found this concept disturbing. I think at least at first it must be a mutual, pretty much even attraction. Possibly even the woman loving the man more (but we don't need to over do it with clinginess and making him the whole world when we hardly know him.) As time goes on, maybe 5-10 years in, I think it's then ok for the man to love the woman more. Does anyone agree with the "better for the man to love the woman more" and if so, WHEN is this best started?
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
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I've never heard of this before, and I agree that it's disturbing. Where did you hear it? It's pretty debatable as to what the vague concept of "loving more" would even mean, but it should go without saying that it needs to be mutual between too people for it to work.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:14 AM
 
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I hear it all the time, my family and random people have said it. That's how I feel, disturbing. As though I'm just supposed to choose a man based on the idea that he really really likes me. It's like the man choosing me. I think it's another old fashioned concept. Nothing wrong with most old fashioned concepts, but this one I never cared for.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:16 AM
 
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How can anyone gauge the feelings of another human? It cannot be done so that statement is a moot point.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
I hear it all the time, my family and random people have said it.
Where do you live? I wonder if it's a cultural thing? Or maybe I haven't heard it because it's something that is only said to women?
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:30 AM
 
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The concept of people loving more sounds high schoolish to me.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
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I wonder if it's related to another saying I've heard: a woman should select a husband who is a little less attractive than herself, as he will be unlikely to do better and will be less likely to stray. He's likely to love her more than she loves him, in this scenario.

And yes, it's disturbing, because not only does it make for an unbalanced relationship, it reduces the true complexity of relationships to one-dimensional stupidity.

On the other hand, there's also the saying - and song - that says: To live a happy life, marry an ugly wife.

Contradictory guidelines, so they can't both be right! Maybe neither are?
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Toronto
2,159 posts, read 2,814,280 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
I wonder if it's related to another saying I've heard: a woman should select a husband who is a little less attractive than herself, as he will be unlikely to do better and will be less likely to stray. He's likely to love her more than she loves him, in this scenario.

And yes, it's disturbing, because not only does it make for an unbalanced relationship, it reduces the true complexity of relationships to one-dimensional stupidity.

On the other hand, there's also the saying - and song - that says: To live a happy life, marry an ugly wife.

Contradictory guidelines, so they can't both be right! Maybe neither are?
Same concept. Advice to marry below you to be happier.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Texas
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I think over the decades of any marriage, there will be seesawing of who likes the other more at any particular moment.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:51 AM
 
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I suppose the concept arose from well-meaning thought that a man who loves his woman more than she loves him, will be less likely to stray, but what does that say about her? Then she'll be more likely to stray.
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