'It's better to wait for someone who wants you, than to try to make someone want you' (woman, love)

[Trimac20]

This is what I sometimes tell myself. I've never been a 'chaser', maybe that doesn't make me an alpha male, but I'm also not the type to try to convince a girl or woo her if she seems unwilling. Not that I've tried it and failed I've just never tried it. Do you think it's possible to woo someone who starts out having zero attraction for you with your personality.etc? Or does there always have to be some initial attraction?

My thinking is that, if I meet someone who seems attractive enough (overall not just physically) and she happens to fancy me, things will happen and she'll be much more interested in me anyway. Maybe I'll be waiting for awhile, but do you think I can afford to do this, or that as a male I must be actively pursuing?

Also, how can one develop affection, even the shallow kind, between two people? I could try to be like friends, but there's the danger of becoming platonic friends and 'friend-zoned.' Or maybe the FZ doesn't really exist and any friend is a potential romantic interest. Is there a certain way you flirt, without being overt that you like someone, where you can develop the attraction in a woman?

[somebodynew]

You CAN'T "convince" someone to like you. And ew, I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about the attempt.

Do YOU like you?

ALL the posters who are on here talking about their failure to attract someone. The fact that you are looking so freaking desperately is probably what is making people think that you are.... well, desperate.

Go do some living. Canoe. Snowboard. Dance. Take up singing. Whatever. Get busy living and boom you turn around and there is someone who likes the same things you do. And you won't even notice if she is an "8" or if he is an "alpha". Ini fact, at that time, the notion will be preposterous.

[nearnorth]

'It's better to wait for someone who wants you, than to try to make someone want you'

I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."

[Raena77]

Aaaaah you are over thinking it. Yeah don't go looking for love. It will never come that way! Talk communicate, be primal fling poo, strut your peacock feathers, but never lower your standards.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Aaaaah you are over thinking it. Yeah don't go looking for love. It will never come that way! Talk communicate, be primal fling poo, strut your peacock feathers, but never lower your standards.

What is a "standard"?

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by nearnorth

I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."

Good point, putting yourself out there in those situations is 'pursuing' without actually pursuing. Just putting yourself in a situation where good things will come your way.

[lilyflower3191981]

Originally Posted by nearnorth

I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."

I agree with this.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by somebodynew

What is a "standard"?

Everyone has their own.

I look for: Someone that is respectful yet is funny
Ambition but not in annoying way. ( But I made all this money why should I pick up my underwear off the floor?)

[nearnorth]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

Good point, putting yourself out there in those situations is 'pursuing' without actually pursuing. Just putting yourself in a situation where good things will come your way.

Exactly. "Wait for" makes it sound like you're sitting at home hoping the person falls in your lap. "Pursuing" sounds like trying too hard. The most effective strategy is somewhere in the middle, IMO.

[dogluvr2013]

I don't think you can convince a girl but I do think you can woo her and develop something if she has just a tiny bit of interest.