Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wouldn't blame him if he leaves you, actually. You played the typical stupid, manipulative game - it's okay to have sex immediately with someone you don't care for, but make the good guys wait. Well, the good guys will stay around even if you have sex with them early on. That's why they're good men. He found you out for being manipulative. He's not good enough for you, but "dirt bag" Sal was okay to ***** around with?
This type of behavior is why many guys that simply want to get laid, treat women like dirt and they get laid the same night they meet them, precisely because they are not LTR material. Pay attention guys.
There's also, "I LOVE you, it was just sex with him."
Anyways, OP, you're going to have to tell your guy the truth. He won't understand it, period, but you have to give him time to decide what he wants to do. You have to wait and see. I wish you luck.
She could also tell him, "Yeah, I rushed into bed with Sal and look at how THAT turned out. Live and learn!"
This tantrum of his is only going to have as much power as she lets it. If she treats it like the big thing he is making it out to be, when it's really not, she's just going to fuel his fire. There is really nothing for the OP to be ashamed of--each relationship is different--and he most likely wouldn't be complaining if she slept with him on the first date. He's just jealous, and no relationship needs that.
This type of behavior is why many guys that simply want to get laid, treat women like dirt and they get laid the same night they meet them, precisely because they are not LTR material. Pay attention guys.
More nonsense. Most of my LTRs began with a bang, and those that didn't worked up to it pretty quickly, within the first three or four dates. It's when there was a lot of foot-dragging that nothing ever came of it. I don't have that kind of patience, and if I don't know I want him within the month, I'm not going to. And there are plenty of others on this board in LTRs and marriages who had sex on the first date or shortly thereafter.
I can definitely see your boyfriend's perspective. He's spent time dating you, investing in the relationship and had to wait four months for sex. Then, he finds out you had sex with another guy on the first night. Kinda makes him feel like you've jerked him around and played games. Folks may call this immature, but that is they way he feels. His feelings are his feelings. If you simply dismiss them as immature, then you won't have a relationship with him.
Ask him how you can make it up to him. But then, once you do make it up to him, he has to never bring up the past with "sal" again. Rock his world for a few weeks and he'll get over it. This will show him how very into him you are.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
See above. This is a way to move forward. Sorry ladies and men who say just move on. This thing will end and should end unless she makes it up to him.
Taoist, I am disappointed in you! You are usually so spot-on and insightful.
I may still be spot-on and insightful (thank you for that, BTW!), but as a man I would be disturbed to find out that someone treated me quite differently sexually versus others in order to manipulate me into a relationship. She says she treated him differently to obtain a relationship, in the belief that such manipulation is appropriate. Perhaps it does work, but if it is contrary to your normal behavior, it is dishonest.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
See above. This is a way to move forward. Sorry ladies and men who say just move on. This thing will end and should end unless she makes it up to him.
How? Reverse time or let him make her feel crappy over something that happened before they dated? I think they should definitely speak about it but he will accept the truth or he won't.
She could also tell him, "Yeah, I rushed into bed with Sal and look at how THAT turned out. Live and learn!"
This tantrum of his is only going to have as much power as she lets it. If she treats it like the big thing he is making it out to be, when it's really not, she's just going to fuel his fire. There is really nothing for the OP to be ashamed of--each relationship is different--and he most likely wouldn't be complaining if she slept with him on the first date. He's just jealous, and no relationship needs that.
Nope. She jerked him around and jerked Sal on the first night. This think will end and should end unless she makes it up to him. She played games by making him wait but gave up the goods after just one night. Total BS. You don't understand the male psyche.
It all comes down to the fact that many, many women will make a guy who is BF/Husband material, wait for months before they have sex. They will also give it up to any loser or douchebag right away, precisely because he is not a LTR material and they couldnt care less what he thinks of them. The attraction can be there, no matter who the guy is. This type of bahavior, teaches men that it does not pay off to treat women well, and treating them like garbage will get them much better results. This is why bad boys win all the time, and nice guys remain virgins till they spring for a hooker at the age of 35. THat is reality and ladies please understand this: guys want to get laid all the time and walking around with blue balls for months while "dating" someone who is routinely sleeping with douchebags the moment she meets them, is the ultimate slap in the face.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Live and learn!"