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It is time for a divorce when every thing they do bothers you. They way they walk, talk, eat, dress, the large pores on his nose, their breathing, etc. All the things you loved about them in the beginning start to irritate you to no end and all the things that you ignored in the beginning like the fact the they are a bit arrogant, selfish and cheap comes glaring at you with blinking lights!
cheating would certainly be a deal-breaker. Abuse (physical OR psychological) It is sad though my gf in NY is married to an abuser- and stays with him- he has done a number on her self-esteem- told her she will amount to nothing, etc.
Very, very good question! For some people/couples it doesn't take years to figure out "this just isn't working", but for others it can take entirely tooooooo long.
What does it take before it is "finally" time to call it quits? What do you do when your spouse refuses to get help (marriage counceling)? What happens when your spouse spends a lot of hours at work and he/she doesn't have to? What happens when your spouse likes being married, but also wants to "act" single?
Just when is "enough is enough"????
I'll borrow a line from The War Of The Roses....."I HATE WHEN YOU BREATH", that would pretty much sum it up for me!
So, it is ok if your husband physically and/or mentally abuse you........ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY NUTS???????? Why would any woman want to put up with that or put their kids through that?
Is it okay? No, never. I'm not nuts... not even slightly. I don't think anyone would want to put up with that or put their kids through that. I don't think an abused person should stay in the same home as the abuser, but to me, a divorce isn't an option. I made a promise to my husband and to God that I will stand by him in whatever state we are in. I guess I honestly don't understand how it's a marriage if I would leave when it got tough. I can see why a person who has a spouse that's cheated on them with no intention of stopping would leave, but I don't know that I would be the one to file for divorce in the situation. But, I wouldn't think someone who has different values would follow my own!
I can't imagine the pain a person feels when their spouse cheats or hurts them. I don't in any way belittle that sorrow.
Would you like a recipe, a step-by-step guide to help you break through the confusion and fear? Would you like to know the right words to say and when to say them so that they have the maximum impact? Do you want to find a way to stay connected, yet not push him away?
I don't think an abused person should stay in the same home as the abuser, but to me, a divorce isn't an option... I guess I honestly don't understand how it's a marriage if I would leave when it got tough.
IMO, an abuser forfeits the marriage right there, just as the cheater. Just making it legal with the divorce, that's all. And God's not about "legal", but more for how we treat each other (If folks are worried about their faith.) :>) JMO.
Would you like a recipe, a step-by-step guide to help you break through the confusion and fear? Would you like to know the right words to say and when to say them so that they have the maximum impact? Do you want to find a way to stay connected, yet not push him away?
These books assume the WIFE pushed him away- what about him doing some work to improve. IMO I am sick of these bs self-help books geared only to women.
What about outrageous spending -- say the spouse is spending the family's money on cocaine, or alcohol and driving the family into poverty?
Financially it can be necessary to divorce at least legally. Marriage vows include something about loving the other -- and someone cheating, abusing or addicted is not loving the other. Only a masochist stays in an abusive or cheating relationship.
What about outrageous spending -- say the spouse is spending the family's money on cocaine, or alcohol and driving the family into poverty?
Financially it can be necessary to divorce at least legally. Marriage vows include something about loving the other -- and someone cheating, abusing or addicted is not loving the other. Only a masochist stays in an abusive or cheating relationship.
cocaine- thats an automatic deal-breaker for me. My SIL stayed married to a loser for 18 years. He is 50 and has been in rehab- and his mother still acts like he does nothing wrong.
Excessive drinking is also a deal-breaker. Our society is just sick- so many of the books written by proclaimed counselors fault the wife - like saving the marriage is all on the female. Its ridiculous. Religious or not, putting up with abuse is wrong, and destructive.
I am contemplating divorce. My husband and I have been together for several years but have only been married for 2 years now. Things that were present when we were dating have only gotten worse now. I am very Christian and I have been taught against this...I'm not sure I'm completely ready to leave but my husband is an alcoholic and I am often alone. I come home to Friday nights alone and he always has time for everyone else except for me. He is emotionally unavailable. The time we do spend together is actually working or him drinking and I am not getting what I need from our marriage. I am very sad and lonely. Any suggestions on what to do?
Thanks,
K
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No
Why is it---
a given-
thats an automatic deal-breaker for me. My SIL stayed married to a loser for 18 years. He is 50 and has been in rehab- and his mother still acts like he does nothing wrong.
