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I was on OKCupid for a while, but found someone I want to be exclusive with. I went on there today for the first time in about 6 months, and ITS THE SAME PEOPLE ON THE SITE.
What gives? I think this fits in with my theory that most (not all) people on dating sites are very flawed and/or weird people.
What gives? I think this fits in with my theory that most (not all) people on dating sites are very flawed and/or weird people.
I don't believe anyone exists who is not "flawed" or "weird" in some way,
that judgment is an individual assessment.
Flawed and/or weird people deserve love, too.
One person's flawed or weird is another person's treasured quirk,
but finding a compatible person nearby to oneself isn't always a simple easy straightforward enterprise.
I have sympathy rather than scorn for such persons-I'm one of them.
Because the people on dating sites can't date in the real world and therefore perpetually rotate on those sites.
People who can functionally date in the real world stay off dating sites.
Thats a bit of a harsh generalization, as there are certainly many success stories of people of very normal people finding great relationships, my roommate is one of them - he met his girlfriend on okcupid, but yeah, I do agree that a good number of them on there, that have some issue that prevents them from dating normally.
Also, I would add that there is a geographic component here too. If I were living a small town, or outlying suburbs or somewhere where its largely families, I would have to resort to dating sites, because under normal circumstances its impossible to meet anyone single.
However in a large city, where there are tons of activities including many meetup.com groups, maybe churches that have a large single adult group, etc. you really shouldn't need online dating. I do have a profile up, but I really don't feel like I really need to.
And thats the thing as well, the reason why 6 months later they might still be up there, is that people create profiles, and then forget them, because they ARE meeting people in real life.
I tried a dating site once (for a couple of months) and left it. I was meeting too many jerks* and men with mental issues (as best I could tell--like the man who was a doomsday prepper and was convinced the world was ending in Dec 2012). For the sake of fairness, I tended to not want to mess around with a lot of messaging and stuff and just meet the men. I need to see a man face-to-face to really get a feel for him. So I didn't "screen" a lot like some women do. I also kept getting messaged by men a lot older than me--as in old enough to be my father older--I ignored those.
Anyway, I gave up on it. Then, a year later (which was just recently), I gave it another try. I too saw a lot of the same people on the site. I threw in the towel again after just 6 weeks (I paid for 3 months). I was going to stick it out, but I was getting too many jerks and such and figured I already wasted the money, why waste the time too.
I am sure there are good, decent men online too. It's just that there are so many of the jerks and ones with mental issues online that it's overwhelming. I really don't think I am going to try an online site ever again. Then again, I though that the first time and didn't learn my lesson apparently.
* Jerks not only includes men that were just mean to me (like insulting and such) but also married men and men who were looking for a hookup.
I do not think you can make a sweeping value judgement on the existence of someone's profile on a site for a moderate period of time. There could be a number of normal and legitimate reasons, including, that they just are still dating and have not settled into a relationship.
Six months is not necessarily all that long of a time for someone to be dating without entering an exclusive relationship.
Thats a bit of a harsh generalization, as there are certainly many success stories of people of very normal people finding great relationships, my roommate is one of them - he met his girlfriend on okcupid, but yeah, I do agree that a good number of them on there, that have some issue that prevents them from dating normally.
Also, I would add that there is a geographic component here too. If I were living a small town, or outlying suburbs or somewhere where its largely families, I would have to resort to dating sites, because under normal circumstances its impossible to meet anyone single.
However in a large city, where there are tons of activities including many meetup.com groups, maybe churches that have a large single adult group, etc. you really shouldn't need online dating. I do have a profile up, but I really don't feel like I really need to.
And thats the thing as well, the reason why 6 months later they might still be up there, is that people create profiles, and then forget them, because they ARE meeting people in real life.
I didn't say that people on online dating sites are abnormal, just stated they don't have success dating in the real world. So they sign up for online dating.
You know it might be that they just never take profiles down (although I was thinking about people who were actually contacting me. I kind of remembered them from the year before). I was sure to delete all my pictures and take out all my text before I unsubscribed to the dating site I tried because I don't trust that it "will" come down. After all, it's in the site's best interest to look like they have more subscribers (and my profile with removed pictures and text boxes that read, "I am not looking for anyone right now" were still up a year later when I renewed).
I was on OKCupid for a while, but found someone I want to be exclusive with. I went on there today for the first time in about 6 months, and ITS THE SAME PEOPLE ON THE SITE.
What gives? I think this fits in with my theory that most (not all) people on dating sites are very flawed and/or weird people.
Some may be a little weird and can't get dates to save their lives, but mostly, it's just picky people. Looking at all the potentials online gives the impression that they have an abundance of choices, plus being able to screen partners based on crap they write, so they become much pickier than they would in real life. And yes, both men and women do this online.
I was on OKCupid for a while, but found someone I want to be exclusive with. I went on there today for the first time in about 6 months, and ITS THE SAME PEOPLE ON THE SITE.
What gives? I think this fits in with my theory that most (not all) people on dating sites are very flawed and/or weird people.
If you found someone that you want to be exclusive with, why are you on there looking at other people?
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