Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As a field engineer, I would go out to a job site for a week or two and spend most of my time alone with the equipment, or alone in the hotel. I hated even going out to dinner, as It would send me into a crowd of strangers at a restaurant. I carried masses of reading material for my evenings in the hotel, and enjoyed time by myself away from the family. No obligations beyond the job and the needed phone calls to the boys every night. I'd work 12-14 hours a day, and most was spent in a quiet room with nothing more than some power generation equipment and a manual. Anyone who doesn't enjoy time like this is not very comfortable with themselves. I now have limited time in the field, as I supervise a crew of people who do what I did. They go out alone (mainly) and come back into Anchorage from the bush and do it again next week. There are times when I envy them, as I deal with the customers, contractors and suppliers more now than the end-users.
Thanks everyone. Glad to know I'm not crazy! Not that I really thought I was, but sometimes when my friend gets on my back about it, I can't convince her to see my point of view, that being what some of you have pointed out: if you can't be comfortable with yourself, forget trying to be with anyone else.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,537,150 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by supernerdgirl
Thanks everyone. Glad to know I'm not crazy! Not that I really thought I was, but sometimes when my friend gets on my back about it, I can't convince her to see my point of view, that being what some of you have pointed out: if you can't be comfortable with yourself, forget trying to be with anyone else.
You are definitely not crazy....(see New Neighbor Relations) my new neighbor basically patronizes me into tears every time he talks to me.
I don't want to waste the time trying to explain to him that he is wasting my time (and my peace) by speaking to me every time he sees me.
The more I'm alone...the more I have rituals. I edit some photos, take a thought breather on my porch. Watch Illinois kick Ohio States butt, take a breather on my porch. Read someone's dilemma on the Relationship Forum, do my thinking on my porch. I entertain myself and as soon as some yahoo interrupts that....I can't contain my disappointment.
...my point of view, that being what some of you have pointed out: if you can't be comfortable with yourself, forget trying to be with anyone else.
You are exactly the oposite of friends and relatives of mine who will put up with "boyfriends" who will not treat them right. Just because they need somebody, these women will put up with anything and everything. As though their oxygen depends on having somebody, it seems.
More power to you@!
And I envy you ... wish I was still in Chicago. I never tired of walking all over the place -- especially Wacker Drive. Beautiful, wonderful city!
The question is, does this make me crazy? One of my friends recently said that "no one really wants to be alone," (then again, she's someone that doesn't like to go to the grocery store alone) but as for me, I can tolerate being with myself. As my grandma always said when I was younger, "you can entertain yourself." Am I not living life to the fullest? Or am I just selfish and look out for myself more than anyone else?
Should I just not worry about what my friend is saying?
I just had a conversation with my sister about this. I'm an introvert, love spending time by myself. Being around people all the time just makes me feel frustrated. When I have time to be alone and think, I feel great.
I love going out on most weekends, but otherwise I just want to be alone.
She is the complete opposite, and getting along has been very difficult for us.
We finally had a big talk. She told me that she thought me wanting to spend time alone meant I was unhappy and I told her that she had to stop judging me, and assuming the things that make her feel unhappy and insecure don't make feel that way.
Sometimes you will see introverts who are afraid to go out and that's unhealthy, and on the opposite end, you sometimes see extroverts who can't be happy without somebody else and are never independent, and that's unhealthy.
If you are alone because that is what makes you happy, and not from fear or insecurities, then there is nothing crazy about it.
As for living life to the fullest, I read this great quote somewhere, "it's not about wanting what you don't have, it's about wanting what you do have."
I don't think living life to the fullest means having to go out all the time, trying to see as many things as possible, and talking to everybody you meet.
I meet a lot of people that think that way, and they are never really there in the moment. They are always anxious for what is going to happen next, who is going to be their next relationship, what is the next exciting thing that is going to happen. I am into skydiving, hangliding, traveling, etc., so I meet a lot of people who are like that. The thing is when they are not doing these things, or wrapped up in a relationship, they aren't happy or confident.
I mean, it's easy to be happy when there is something exciting going on, or you have someone to admire you, but to be happy when you are alone by yourself takes a really secure person.
I think living life to the fullest means learning to be truly happy, independent of others, and to really appreciate each moment as it happens, whether it is sitting at home, reading a book or having dinner with friends, or drinks at the bar, etc.
I agree with you and all of the OPs! I am exactly the same way, and none of us are crazy for enjoying our lifestyle. My motto is, "What's right, is what's right for each of us."
There are no rules; yet, many will try to make up rules and enforce them on others.
I work full time in a noisy office and love coming home to my peaceful world. On the weekends I can stay inside the entire time and enjoy every minute of it. I don't really enjoy having company over to visit, it just is not me; so let it be said that you'll never see me having a "gal's luncheon", a jewelry party, or any of that other stuff at my place. Nor will I invite people over to eat. I dread the "office lunch group" stuff, and stay clear of "company" social events.
I too rarely contact others and initiate social activities; however, if they ask me to go then many times I will, if it is something I enjoy doing with them. I'm not a real chatty person and prefer meaningful conversations vs constant chit-chat about nothing. The friend I enjoy the most is for the most part like me and she too enjoys her time to herself. My mom told me once that anyone who cannot stand being with themself is not emotionally healthy!
One of my friends cannot tolerate ever being alone, and I never critic her lifestyle. She used to say to me quite often, "Hey, we really need to get you out more!" I got tired of hearing that and finally asked, "Why?" She said, "Well, you don't get out enough." And I explained to her that I loved my lifestyle, am very content, never feel as though I'm missing out on anything or being short-changed. She finally accepted it and stopped pestering me.
When holidays roll around I 99% of the time spend them alone (Thanksgiving/Christmas) and LOVE not being involved in the hectic/chaotic enviornment of family squabbles, joining the insanity of xmas shopping, being stressed out or being a kitchen slave all day.
I spent way too many years dreading the holidays, but not now.
At work, people finally stopped perstering me every Monday morning with the "What did you do for fun over the weekend? question. Because everytime they asked I always gave the same answer, "I don't have to be "doing" anything to have a good time, just being off work is all I need".
So, please continue to enjoy your life, and I honestly believe that anyone who criticizes us for being content and comfortable with who we are, are the ones who are discontent and need to really work on getting a life.
I am more at peace now than I have ever been in my life - - and one of the main reasons is that I finally completely accepted who I am, and was able to remove the feelings of being a freak if I didn't go out all the time, or didn't have company over all the time.
I'm alot like you,and I know I'm ok(I think?) so you are too.
Some people have told me you are always lost in yourself,you should hang around people more often....I think those people who must have people around them all the time are insecure and just have no hobbies or thoughts to occupy themselves,no offense meant.
I am very friendly,and I do talk and approach people,but on my terms.Alot of the time I'd rather be alone to do the things I'm interested in until I'm ready to socialize.
We are introverts...be comfortable with it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) so you are too.
