This guy,...let's call him B, and I had a very strong connection (strong physical attraction, connected romantically through texting a lot, went through the same things, we shared the same life experiences and circumstances! - abusive marriage, divorce/impending divorce, radical Christian families!!) but we could not pursue a relationship...because of circumstances (one was still legally married, though marriage was effectively dead).
He decided to cut off contact with me because I was tempting him to sin. We both knew that we would end up in bed if we met each other, just once again, that'd be all it'd have taken.
I went away feeling quite heartbroken but respecting his decision, and shortly later had a fling with somebody that I have known around the same time, was attracted to more superficially (we could talk about all kinds of stuff, sure and have fun from each other's companionship) but not the same kind of connection that I had with B. It was like some kinda release for me in a way, because my emotional needs (not to mention sexual) had been unmet for years while trapped in the dead marriage.
I contacted B a few months later, after things settled and my divorce was finalized. Upon receiving my text, he called me back immediately and wanted to talk.
We talked and he told me that he was actually seeing somebody he met after we stopped speaking but they just broke up. I was a little crushed to know he had a girlfriend, but I hid it and we carried on talking.
Catching up, I felt that since he told me about the relationship he was in, I could tell him about my fling too. I did not have any motives, did not want to elicit any reaction or anything. When I decided to tell him, I just thought I should since we were catching up and he told me about his relationship.
After he was done talking about his ex girlfriend, I said I met somebody too after we stopped talking. He paused and said you did? And he said immediately, did you sleep with him? I said yes. And he said the weirdest thing. He asked me "Was it good?"
First, why would he ask me this? Isn't this question rather strange (and a tad personal) and why would it be on the mind of anyone? Can some men give me some insight? The only person I can imagine being interested in this is a nosy and fun girlfriend. I shrugged it off by saying "I just felt really really bad after it happened, like you said I would".
Then he asked me if the guy was married too. I said he's divorced...and my marriage was dead..
Next thing I knew, B said he couldn't carry on speaking, and that he is not in a frame of mind or doesn't have the strength to give me anything at this moment, and that he needs to lay down and he needs to get some "personal space". I was totally shocked by what happened and was like "whaaaaat" in my mind..I didn't expect it at all coz we were talking normally the whole time and in fact at the start of the conversation, he told me that when he got my text he thought I was still in the state and he wanted to see me...
I think I managed to sneak in a quick question "how do you plan to get space?" He said "I dunno, maybe get close to God or something" and then he started babbling almost...incoherently at this point, saying he needed to lay down and get something to eat, he claimed he hadn't eaten anything all day (it was 3pm at the time) and he needed to go. Then we hung up.
From the way I see it, it was like the moment he found out that I met somebody else and slept with him, he couldn't talk to me anymore and totally changed from the way he was when we first talked and he really wanted to get away from the conversation..
I don't understand why he reacted this way, especially in light of the fact that he ACTUALLY GOT INTO A RELATIONSHIP with another girl and I'm pretty sure he slept with her right?! Come on! And I wasn't his girlfriend or anything when it happened. Surely I had the right to do as I chose, as a willing adult?
What is going on?? And why did he first ask "Was it good?" What was that about?! I'm so confused and I really miss him. I tried to give him space and waited awhile to contact him again and I did and later he claimed to me that he worked things out with his girlfriend and asked me not to contact him again. I respected that and hadn't contacted him again (and will not). I was just thinking what went wrong in that conversation..
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