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I'm sure this is probably another "dead horse" topic, but quite frankly, I'm too lazy to search.
I find in this day of instant communication, I tend to write someone off as not interested and move on with my life fairly quickly. I find if I reach out to someone, whether I liked their profile (so done with online dating!), met them through Meetup, or through a friend, after a couple of days I start to write them off as not interested. I don't dwell on it, and they're fully written off after about a week.
So, how quickly does everyone else write people off?
I write off people who don't act interested, or show interest quickly too.
I don't want to hound someone into being interested and I feel if someone is truly interested, they will make the time and put out the effort to reach out, respond, be an involved and active participant, etc.
I'm sure this is probably another "dead horse" topic, but quite frankly, I'm too lazy to search.
I find in this day of instant communication, I tend to write someone off as not interested and move on with my life fairly quickly. I find if I reach out to someone, whether I liked their profile (so done with online dating!), met them through Meetup, or through a friend, after a couple of days I start to write them off as not interested. I don't dwell on it, and they're fully written off after about a week.
So, how quickly does everyone else write people off?
Do you mean that they don't respond quickly enough so you move on, or that you're not making deeper connections and can't be bothered, if you don't have feelings instantly?
I don't want to hound someone into being interested and I feel if someone is truly interested, they will make the time and put out the effort to reach out, respond, be an involved and active participant, etc.
Agreed. I was definitely a hounder in my early 20's. I'm guilty of being one of those who checked to make sure the phone was working 50 times a day. Glad I outgrew that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Do you mean that they don't respond quickly enough so you move on, or that you're not making deeper connections and can't be bothered, if you don't have feelings instantly?
The first one. If I reach out and haven't gotten a response after a few days, while logically, I know I could get one, I don't dwell on it and just go about my merry way.
I'm sure this is probably another "dead horse" topic, but quite frankly, I'm too lazy to search.
I find in this day of instant communication, I tend to write someone off as not interested and move on with my life fairly quickly. I find if I reach out to someone, whether I liked their profile (so done with online dating!), met them through Meetup, or through a friend, after a couple of days I start to write them off as not interested. I don't dwell on it, and they're fully written off after about a week.
So, how quickly does everyone else write people off?
This is a divorced bachelor's perspective: I know women are flakey when it comes to returning texts I send, so I ping every once in a while for a couple of weeks with someone new. Then if i get zero after a while (not appearing needy/clingy/desperate), i delete their contact info so i can't text them again. When you are at this "interested?" dating stage, getting out of textzone and into a live meetup can be very challenging.
I think most women operate under the rule that if they don't reply to a guy's text, they will go away after a while. I think most guys understand that too.
My attitude is the same as yours, OP. There's always someone else out there. If eventually someone does get back to me with a reasonable excuse, and I'm not otherwise commited, I may still give them a chance.
I'm sure this is probably another "dead horse" topic, but quite frankly, I'm too lazy to search.
I find in this day of instant communication, I tend to write someone off as not interested and move on with my life fairly quickly. I find if I reach out to someone, whether I liked their profile (so done with online dating!), met them through Meetup, or through a friend, after a couple of days I start to write them off as not interested. I don't dwell on it, and they're fully written off after about a week.
So, how quickly does everyone else write people off?
I'm not sure-depends on whether we started making plans to meet.
If we had discussed meeting, but then he disappears, I tend to dismiss that person.
If we have yet to get around to really talking about meeting, then I allow for a lot more leeway.
Heck, I've gotten a msg. from a guy one whole month after he last wrote to me-
and I didn't go off on him, I just politely inquired about that (and privately rolled my eyes at his flakiness).
When we did finally meet, there was no interest in each other, so it didn't matter.
However, I can say for certain that I was recently "written off with a vengeance" by a different guy I met from online.
We exchanged one set of msgs. after the meet, but I had an anxiety attack & didn't write back to him for more than a day.
Just when I was finally going to reply, he sent me a nasty, mean, highly critical msg. excoriating me for being rude in not replying already.
So, he wrote me off, which in turn caused me to write him off even further (since I wasn't terribly enchanted with him after our meet anyway).
I don't write off many women quickly, I almost always give them the benifit of the doubt, but I find many women incompatible with me after X amount of time: Too Right, too Left, too opinionated, Too crazy, Too Lazy. Unfortunately, 'on the surface' many women look Ideal: Great pictures, Good attitude, Even keeled, Friendly, outgoing, etc. After a bit of time is when you find out your not quite so compatible.
What’s amazes me is when someone still wants to see you when you are obviously not compatible.
I assume someone is not that interested if they don't contact me within about 18 hours after a first meeting. The morning, after a lunch date, for example.
For me if I don't get a response I write it off. When I did online if a man didn't respond within a few days I figured not interested. I do the same but many men didn't get the memo and weeks later would still send messages.
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