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What do you think about it? My brother kept his girlfriend a secret for 4 years until he brought her to meet my mother.
My mother only knows my son's mother for obvious reasons. Otherwise, officially, I've never had any other girlfriend.
I think it is fine. It is your brother's life.
My brother only brought one girl home, my sister in law to meet my parents. I fell in love with her too. She's a really really nice lady.
well, growing up, I've known almost every single girlfriends of my brothers' and there were tons of them. I've liked every single one of their girlfriends. I always secretly wished some of them could be my sister in law, well, nothing happened.
Your brother's happiness is all that matters. If he wants to keep the girlfriend a secret, he has every single right to do so. When he is ready, he would introduce the ONE to everybody in the family. Hopefully, that will be a pleasant surprise.
Maybe she's meddling? Maybe she wants to run your life? Maybe she's judgmental? Maybe she wants to pick your gf/wife for you? Maybe she doesn't want to share her sons with another woman? Maybe you guys can't assert your independence with her? Maybe she embarrasses you?
I think that, for many people, if they meet and get together with the right person...i.e. someone that they're truly happy with, comfortable with and like them for who they are...then they don't want to keep the relationship a secret. They WANT to introduce their special someone to their friends and family.
It's one thing to keep a fairly low profile during the initial stages of dating, but as for established relationships...if someone goes out of their way to keep their relationship hidden or on the down-low...it is likely that the reason(s) for that are not good. Maybe there's something about their partner that's embarrassing. Or maybe they have ignorant or bigoted parents who only want their child dating a certain "type" of person. Or something else.
I remember my ex's ex keeping him a secret. I always questioned why..
I have to agree that keeping an s.o. a secret is usually not a good sign (probably not likely b/c they want others to stay out of their business) but maybe they do so because:
a. they're ashamed
b. maybe it's a relationship they hope would be better (and they're waiting to see if things can change), which brings you back to a.) they're ashamed bc they don't want to admit they're settling
c. playin'
Keeping a boyfriend or girlfriend secret for four years? Maybe, maybe someone can think of a really good reason for doing that, but I can't. I couldn't be the secret or the secret-keeper in a situation like that. I mean, how would it feel to hear "my mom's coming to visit this weekend, you'll have to find something else to do" for all that time? I don't think anyone in this thread so far has offered any sufficient reasons for doing something like that. Meddling parents? Doesn't every young person think their parents are meddling? OK I understand that sometimes people end up with a mate who isn't up to their parents' expectations, but as an adult you have to stick with who or what you believe in.
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