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I don't think this is normal, per se, but what seems to be the issue at hand here is your mother. Seems if you did not have a child, she would not have known your gf either.
I guess you guys have to ask yourself what the deal is with your mother and why you do not want to share your gf with her.
Furthermore, that makes me feel sorry for the girls. There is some reason, and whatever that reason is, it can't be good.
Given that I have a family that knows how to observe boundaries (and that I'll walk without a second thought if they don't), I have never kept anyone "a secret" - even when I knew the family wouldn't approve. My life, my choices. I'd have problems dating someone who couldn't set similar boundaries with their own family. I would not trust their ability to have my back or to be strong enough to hold their ground when push came to shove.
I mean who the hell cares if your mother (or anyone else) doesn't approve or asks questions? "Thanks for your opinion. But my relationship is not a topic I'm willing to discuss with you." Wash, rinse and repeat as needed.
His girlfriend went into hiding several times when my mother visited my brother.
Was she in the witness protection program?
I would assume that the person wants to appear as a single person, either because their desire for parental/familial/friends approval is so great that it trumps their ability to act like an adult (since they assume the people in their life will disapprove of their SO) or because they want the freedom that comes with being single, while having the security of a relationship. In other words, because they want to be a playa and randomly hook up with people behind their SO's back, having their cake and eating it too as the saying goes.
The real question is why on earth did she move in with him or stay with him so long?? Low self esteem? I get not introducing the lay of the week or your brand new girlfriend but after a few months or so, ESPECIALLY after you decide to be in an exclusive relationship I would think you'd want to include her in your personal life, including your family/friends. If I haven't met my BF's family members or friends in years, I would definitely assume something was up, and I would never move in with him, and I doubt I'd have stuck around anywhere near 4 years. But that's just me.
I don't think this is normal, per se, but what seems to be the issue at hand here is your mother. Seems if you did not have a child, she would not have known your gf either.
I guess you guys have to ask yourself what the deal is with your mother and why you do not want to share your gf with her.
Furthermore, that makes me feel sorry for the girls. There is some reason, and whatever that reason is, it can't be good.
I wish I never met my ex MIL.
I simply like to separate my blood family from my intimate life. It's none of her business who I bring to my house. I don't want to be questioned in regards to that.
I mean who the hell cares if your mother (or anyone else) doesn't approve or asks questions? "Thanks for your opinion. But my relationship is not a topic I'm willing to discuss with you." Wash, rinse and repeat as needed.
What do you think about it? My brother kept his girlfriend a secret for 4 years until he brought her to meet my mother.
My mother only knows my son's mother for obvious reasons. Otherwise, officially, I've never had any other girlfriend.
I don't share my relationship status either...but don't consider it keeping secrets. It's more of an "it's no one else's business" type of situations for me. I grew up with a lot of gossipy, judgmental family members, which I why I don't discuss things like this.
I simply like to separate my blood family from my intimate life. It's none of her business who I bring to my house. I don't want to be questioned in regards to that.
You don't want to be questioned by her or by this board?
When you have a child with a person, that child also becomes your mothers blood relative.
If she is my girlfriend, I introduce her as such and telk my friends and family. I have had 4? Girlfriends in the last 6 or 7 years. The other week or month flings I have zero desire to tell my family since I know going into it that its for fun and nothing else. I dont call girls my gf unlesd they dont have any qualities I can really see that make me not want to possibly spend my life with them at that point.
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