Tips on finding a good women. How can you tell if shes "wifey" material. (dating, marriage)
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If she comes from a nice family, the chances of her being "good" is much higher. Children from disfunctional parents have a tendency to be freaky also. So, check out her parents, before you marry her.
Look at how she spends/manages her money. Does she offer to pay on dates? Does she waste her money on stupid expenses? Is she behind on bills? Does she expect big gifts from you? Does she feel entitled to get free stuff, uses other people?
Look carefully at how she treats people in general. Does she have friends, what kind of, how are they, since when are they friends? Be careful of people who constantly change their circle of friends. How does she treat the waitress when you go out? How does she speak about other people?
Thanks for the hints. I certainly do not want a suga baby. I do belive when it comes to finances the man should be at least equal or takes 60% of the finances not 100%. I want balance.
I think looking at how a woman treats others is a big deal. Everyone puts on a mask when they first meet someone so that will help see through any visage.
I would start with not using the term "wifey" material.
Next, you need to know yourself. You will never be able to properly evaluate any potential spouse if you do not intimately know yourself, and can be honest with yourself. Why? You have to look past the lust and butterflies of a young relationship and evaluate a potential spouse through impartial, and analytical eyes. When you know yourself, you will know your real needs, wants, desires, direction, motivation, etc, and can then evaluate the person to determine if they are a good long term fit for you, and not just someone you are emotionally head over heals for.
You have to be willing to make a commitment to loving your wife, as she has to be willing to make that commitment too. This means, being giving, helpful, and supportive through the rough spots and putting in the work to do so... including (and especially) when the emotional love is in a low spot.
Then, you need to have a lot of quality discussion with them. The two of you need to be on the same page with your goals and expecations. Basically, your lives apart from emotional attachment need to correspond. You need the same goals in life, be headed in the same direction, be proceeding at the same speed or pace towards those goals, be in agreement on what the destination is with those goals, be able to communicate well with each other, and be willing to be flexible along the way to handle all the rough spots, and monkey wrenches that go into plans.
You evaluate her heart, motivations, commitment, and desires ultimately not through her words but through her actions. Loving and giving people show it through what they do, as do uncaring and selfish people. (This is where analytical analysis comes in).
Now, specific attributes can be applied here, but are personal to you. Nobody can tell you what your preference for intimacy is. That is about knowing yourself. I will say this however on specifics, you need to know yourself to know what a potential deal breaker is and what isn't, and also know what you insist on, and what can be a work in progress.
I would start with not using the term "wifey" material.
Next, you need to know yourself. You will never be able to properly evaluate any potential spouse if you do not intimately know yourself, and can be honest with yourself. Why? You have to look past the lust and butterflies of a young relationship and evaluate a potential spouse through impartial, and analytical eyes. When you know yourself, you will know your real needs, wants, desires, direction, motivation, etc, and can then evaluate the person to determine if they are a good long term fit for you, and not just someone you are emotionally head over heals for.
You have to be willing to make a commitment to loving your wife, as she has to be willing to make that commitment too. This means, being giving, helpful, and supportive through the rough spots and putting in the work to do so... including (and especially) when the emotional love is in a low spot.
Then, you need to have a lot of quality discussion with them. The two of you need to be on the same page with your goals and expecations. Basically, your lives apart from emotional attachment need to correspond. You need the same goals in life, be headed in the same direction, be proceeding at the same speed or pace towards those goals, be in agreement on what the destination is with those goals, be able to communicate well with each other, and be willing to be flexible along the way to handle all the rough spots, and monkey wrenches that go into plans.
You evaluate her heart, motivations, commitment, and desires ultimately not through her words but through her actions. Loving and giving people show it through what they do, as do uncaring and selfish people. (This is where analytical analysis comes in).
Now, specific attributes can be applied here, but are personal to you. Nobody can tell you what your preference for intimacy is. That is about knowing yourself. I will say this however on specifics, you need to know yourself to know what a potential deal breaker is and what isn't, and also know what you insist on, and what can be a work in progress.
Why are some people getting hung up on the word wifey. Its just a little slang word. Loosen up a bit.
Im not looking to get married, wifey material just means a good women.
Thanks for the excellent advice though.
What I got from your post is that I need to know myself in order to know what Im compatible with, which is what a few other posters said.
Deal breakers for me would be snobby, princess like attitudes. Women who are lose and have no class. Looks arent too important as long as she upkeeps herself. I geuss personality openness and intelligence are most important to me.
Why are some people getting hung up on the word wifey. Its just a little slang word. Loosen up a bit.
Im not looking to get married, wifey material just means a good women.
Thanks for the excellent advice though.
What I got from your post is that I need to know myself in order to know what Im compatible with, which is what a few other posters said.
Deal breakers for me would be snobby, princess like attitudes. Women who are lose and have no class. Looks arent too important as long as she upkeeps herself. I geuss personality openness and intelligence are most important to me.
Why I disliked the term wifey? I guess as a married man, I felt that slang term does not give the proper respect when referenceing the person I deemed to be so important to me and my life that I married her. You do not need to look to get married now, but treating a woman you think that highly of with respect is important.
I digress. Otherwise, you are very correct. Know yourself very well. How and why you tick.
Your general observations are terrific starts. However, individuals are very complex sometimes, and often the lines of general observations will blur depending on the situation. You want to know in detail why you dislike the traits you do, so you can tell in detail if certain actions or attitudes are things you are flexible and accepting of, or if they are clear deal breakers. (Does a woman who is outwardly humble in all respects, except she loves $500 purses snobby or not?. If so, is that too snobby for you, or does the possitives way, far outweigh the negatives, or do you find that liking purses ultimately is not a big deal compared to the complete package).
Which of course is important to realize too if you have not. Nobody is perfect. Loving and accepting someone includes loving and accepting their flaws, their past, their baggage, etc.
You do seem to have a very level head and good outlook about all this, so I suspect you will do terrific too!
my only tip is get to know yourself.
the rest all falls in to place and really isn't a question once you "find her"
for myself it just clicked when i met my wife. i didn't have to go out and specifically search with "wifey" criteria in mind
sorry i cant offer more, i truly believe that is that simple.
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