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Agree and ask myself this a lot. People expect complete perfection and when they find one thing they don't like, they're gone. They look for reasons to eliminate someone rather than reasons they want to be with them. Thats the difference between today and 50 years ago, heck even 20 years ago.
Not only perfection but people are so judgmental. They put everyone up on a platter to be crucified when they themselves are a blatant hypocrite and far from perfect. I always try and see the good in others but sometimes it really feels wasted.
If something would happen with me and my husband I would not even bother to try and date again, what a waste of time and energy with all the BS one has to crawl around in. They don't make wading boots tall enough for all that dramatic, useless nonsense. Believe me it would take one heck of a man to fill the shoes my husband would leave behind.
But people are also greedy, wanting even what they are unwilling to earn, the easiest way possible.
And if you cannot deliver, then you're discarded and the internet is there to supply someone new to use.
The truth is that the world is a hard place. And their are difficult people out there.
But, there are good people out there as well. I think one major problem is that good people make mistakes also, which winds up hurting people unintentionally, along with the people out there that do the using and lying and manipulating.
But I think that is what makes the good people out there even more special. And when a good person is found, the opportunity is there for that good person to make a really wonderful impact on one's life.
I totally agree with you. Very often, as a big fan of Dr. Laura, I will answer a post as I think she would and I am CONSTANTLY lambasted by feminists and other people of that ilk who ask me what century I am living in because I respect the marriage vows and believe that they should be honored.
Dang, you could have had a good post but I stopped at Dr. Laura. The biggest hypocrite out there. I can't stand her. She acts like this champion for marriage and rips people to shreds on the radio for sport. The funny thing is she had an affair with her now husband while he was married to another women, she is estranged from her family and she works full time while berating women to stay at home. I could overlook all that however her arrogant, rude snotty behavior makes make me want to vomit!
Last edited by FutureDays; 08-14-2013 at 11:23 PM..
The truth is that the world is a hard place. And their are difficult people out there.
But, there are good people out there as well. I think one major problem is that good people make mistakes also, which winds up hurting people unintentionally, along with the people out there that do the using and lying and manipulating.
But I think that is what makes the good people out there even more special. And when a good person is found, the opportunity is there for that good person to make a really wonderful impact on one's life.
Good post. There are good people out there. But at the same time you have to be cautious about who you trust and let in your life. Some people simply are not who you think they are at first.
Not only perfection but people are so judgmental. They put everyone up on a platter to be crucified when they themselves are a blatant hypocrite and far from perfect. I always try and see the good in others but sometimes it really feels wasted.
Amen. I just went through this yet again with someone.
You know, it's an interesting thought. I sometimes wonder why I am even here as it brings me down a little too.
In my case, I was married for 13 years to a man who turned out to be gay. There were a LOT of highs and lows but in the end, he left me. I guess to use your garden analogy it was like trying to grow cotton in Saskatchewan--it could be forced a while, but in the end it was never going to work. I took two years to heal and have spent the last year hoping to find love again (re: been actively looking and dating).
And I did run into a lot of BS and stress (mostly with online dating though). So I stopped. It's good for some people, but online wasn't for me. But I don't sit at home all the time. I tend to spend time with friends or go scuba diving (I keep hoping I meet another diver--it would be awesome because we'd have a cool hobby to share... but my luck has been that most of the men on the boats, etc are married). I've joined a couple of meetup.com clubs too. Haven't found anyone, but I've made lots of new friends. I also "look" for men out and about in my community. I talk to men in the grocery store, hardware store, at local festivals, when I run into them on the trails, etc. It's a big slow down from online dating... but I find it's better for me.
I read this forum in the hopes to get a feel for what men think and how things have changed. A lot has changed with dating in the past 15 years when I met the man who is now my Ex. And I've learned a lot. But I also spend a lot of my time "myth busting" I think (usually centered around gross generalizations of men and women). I do like to try and help people and give them hope when I can. I like to give good practical advice when I have the experience to help. I am not sure why... maybe I feel like if I am going to read the forums, I should participate in them. And it's hard not to reach out when someone calls out for help.
I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people here are going though rough times and trying to heal are here--and their bitterness and/or despair is reflected in their posts. I also think there are a lot of young, unexperienced people here. They make assumptions--but they are the same assumptions I think most of us made when we were young. I like to think that they will get though their problems and heal... or learn more as they experience more. Overall, I don't think this forum is indicative of the general population--it's more of a subset of the population. And that gives me hope.
I guess my point is, you aren't out of touch with reality. This place isn't reality. It's more like a rehab center where people are going though various stages of being able to adjust to life on the outside. Some are patients, some are helpers, some are ex-patients who come back to help.
I don't find that the views expressed on this forum are representative of the views of people I surround myself with in everyday life.
Yes there are nice people out there but that's in the lower percentage, the rest are worse then other species of life on earth.
"WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME" is what goes through many peoples minds and they act on it even if it hurts others.
There's some nice people around me but I'm not going to disregard the other side of that especially when it comes to interacting with the selfish crooked side of society which seems to be a greater percentage unfortunately.
You know, it's an interesting thought. I sometimes wonder why I am even here as it brings me down a little too.
In my case, I was married for 13 years to a man who turned out to be gay. There were a LOT of highs and lows but in the end, he left me. I guess to use your garden analogy it was like trying to grow cotton in Saskatchewan--it could be forced a while, but in the end it was never going to work. I took two years to heal and have spent the last year hoping to find love again (re: been actively looking and dating).
And I did run into a lot of BS and stress (mostly with online dating though). So I stopped. It's good for some people, but online wasn't for me. But I don't sit at home all the time. I tend to spend time with friends or go scuba diving (I keep hoping I meet another diver--it would be awesome because we'd have a cool hobby to share... but my luck has been that most of the men on the boats, etc are married). I've joined a couple of meetup.com clubs too. Haven't found anyone, but I've made lots of new friends. I also "look" for men out and about in my community. I talk to men in the grocery store, hardware store, at local festivals, when I run into them on the trails, etc. It's a big slow down from online dating... but I find it's better for me.
I read this forum in the hopes to get a feel for what men think and how things have changed. A lot has changed with dating in the past 15 years when I met the man who is now my Ex. And I've learned a lot. But I also spend a lot of my time "myth busting" I think (usually centered around gross generalizations of men and women). I do like to try and help people and give them hope when I can. I like to give good practical advice when I have the experience to help. I am not sure why... maybe I feel like if I am going to read the forums, I should participate in them. And it's hard not to reach out when someone calls out for help.
I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people here are going though rough times and trying to heal are here--and their bitterness and/or despair is reflected in their posts. I also think there are a lot of young, unexperienced people here. They make assumptions--but they are the same assumptions I think most of us made when we were young. I like to think that they will get though their problems and heal... or learn more as they experience more. Overall, I don't think this forum is indicative of the general population--it's more of a subset of the population. And that gives me hope.
I guess my point is, you aren't out of touch with reality. This place isn't reality. It's more like a rehab center where people are going though various stages of being able to adjust to life on the outside. Some are patients, some are helpers, some are ex-patients who come back to help.
I wouldn't go as far to agree with that. Regular nice people do get hurt these days - this is the reality. "This place" like any forum that someone anonymously can post without others geographically close to them know who they are. Don't think that everyones nice people are being forthcoming with their relationship or other nutty problems to then find out they're separating or divorcing and other things.
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