Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So, I had given up on the idea of dating as a proactive thing: i.e. hitting on women in public, at bars, and doing online dating. I had done that for years and piled up countless rejections.
I hate everything about it. It's simply a game of picking someone who fits within your standards of looks and level of success. And most people are OK with that, because they can reject as many or more people who don't fit theirs.
So, I'd just decided to go about life not thinking or caring about dating. Never been happier. Maybe if something came along naturally, that seemed promising, I'd give it a shot.
I met a woman at a party the other day and we had a nice conversation. TBH, I really didn't think she was that attractive, but I didn't really care. She seemed nice and down to Earth (fatal flaw of mine) and we had a good conversation. I got her # and called her and set something up and later on, she reneged.
Anyway, this is more of a vent, but I just have decided to give up for a long time. Dating in all forms just sucks. It's just picking the best looking person you can get. It's not only that I don't want to get rejected. I don't want to reject anybody based on their looks either (not that I have). So, I just give up. I would like to clarify that if we had met up and she didn't like my personality, I'd have had no problem with that.
Maybe I'll meet another woman at another party and mistakenly think she's down to Earth in another year or so, try again, then end up on here venting again. And the chances of it being that long are good, since I'm pretty damn old, so I don't meet many single women.
Until then, I look forward to happy times not thinking about it.
So because she cancelled your date she is no longer "down to earth"? She had her reasons. Why do you assume it was something personal?
People find each other in so many different ways, but it has to be mutual. The pieces have to fit together. If you only try once every year or two, your chances of meeting your opposite half become very low.
Just go out and live your life and don't look at every single woman as a potential mate, because 99% of them won't be. All you need is one.
So because she cancelled your date she is no longer "down to earth"? She had her reasons. Why do you assume it was something personal?
People find each other in so many different ways, but it has to be mutual. The pieces have to fit together. If you only try once every year or two, your chances of meeting your opposite half become very low.
Just go out and live your life and don't look at every single woman as a potential mate, because 99% of them won't be. All you need is one.
I don't assume it was personal.
I gave her a chance. She didn't. I know I'm a nice guy and we had fun talking, and she doesn't know about any of the negative things about me because we didn't get that much face time. So, it was my looks.
Not that it matters. It's happened countless times.
I DON'T look at every woman as a potential mate if you read my post. I don't cold approach, do bars, or online dating. I met her in a very casual setting, and we had a nice conversation and she seemed nice and that she might not be that shallow. OK. I was wrong.
I can continue to take those types of shots, but I will not subject myself to the putrid game of sizing people up and being sized up that bars and online dating provide. Why would I? So I can be miserable 200 days a year instead of one day a year?
So, I had given up on the idea of dating as a proactive thing: i.e. hitting on women in public, at bars, and doing online dating. I had done that for years and piled up countless rejections.
I hate everything about it. It's simply a game of picking someone who fits within your standards of looks and level of success. And most people are OK with that, because they can reject as many or more people who don't fit theirs.
So, I'd just decided to go about life not thinking or caring about dating. Never been happier. Maybe if something came along naturally, that seemed promising, I'd give it a shot.
I met a woman at a party the other day and we had a nice conversation. TBH, I really didn't think she was that attractive, but I didn't really care. She seemed nice and down to Earth (fatal flaw of mine) and we had a good conversation. I got her # and called her and set something up and later on, she reneged.
Anyway, this is more of a vent, but I just have decided to give up for a long time. Dating in all forms just sucks. It's just picking the best looking person you can get. It's not only that I don't want to get rejected. I don't want to reject anybody based on their looks either (not that I have). So, I just give up. I would like to clarify that if we had met up and she didn't like my personality, I'd have had no problem with that.
Maybe I'll meet another woman at another party and mistakenly think she's down to Earth in another year or so, try again, then end up on here venting again. And the chances of it being that long are good, since I'm pretty damn old, so I don't meet many single women.
Until then, I look forward to happy times not thinking about it.
I gave her a chance. She didn't. I know I'm a nice guy and we had fun talking, and she doesn't know about any of the negative things about me because we didn't get that much face time. So, it was my looks.
Not that it matters. It's happened countless times.
Did she actually say it was your looks when she cancelled on you? Maybe she got back together with an old boyfriend. Maybe she got food poisoning. Maybe there was a work emergency. There are a billion reasons that she didn't or couldn't go out with you, and most of them have nothing to do with what you look like. That you immediately jump to that conclusion says more about you than it does about her.
So, I had given up on the idea of dating as a proactive thing: i.e. hitting on women in public, at bars, and doing online dating. I had done that for years and piled up countless rejections.
I hate everything about it. It's simply a game of picking someone who fits within your standards of looks and level of success. And most people are OK with that, because they can reject as many or more people who don't fit theirs.
So, I'd just decided to go about life not thinking or caring about dating. Never been happier. Maybe if something came along naturally, that seemed promising, I'd give it a shot.
I met a woman at a party the other day and we had a nice conversation. TBH, I really didn't think she was that attractive, but I didn't really care. She seemed nice and down to Earth (fatal flaw of mine) and we had a good conversation. I got her # and called her and set something up and later on, she reneged.
Anyway, this is more of a vent, but I just have decided to give up for a long time. Dating in all forms just sucks. It's just picking the best looking person you can get. It's not only that I don't want to get rejected. I don't want to reject anybody based on their looks either (not that I have). So, I just give up. I would like to clarify that if we had met up and she didn't like my personality, I'd have had no problem with that.
Maybe I'll meet another woman at another party and mistakenly think she's down to Earth in another year or so, try again, then end up on here venting again. And the chances of it being that long are good, since I'm pretty damn old, so I don't meet many single women.
Until then, I look forward to happy times not thinking about it.
Do you see any contradiction in your words in the bolded passages? Actually, you have been rejecting women based on their looks. You've been rejecting them by not picking them in the first place. If your selection criteria aren't working, change them. You tried that once (not using looks in your selection process), it didn't work, so you threw in the towel? After one try?
Have you ever tried getting involved in the community, joining activity groups, volunteering for a cause you're interested in, joining a singles hiking group, taking a yoga, Chi Gong, or cooking class, etc., and getting to know women that way? If you're engaging and thoughtful with women, they'll gravitate towards you, after they've had a chance to get to know you.
Change how/where you meet women (as above). Shift your criteria a bit (less emphasis on looks, more on personality & values). Give that combination a good shot for awhile, see what it does for you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Maybe if something came along naturally, that seemed promising, I'd give it a shot.
