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Im not sure where to start but right now im suicidal writing this. My life has been a rough one. I was gang raped at age 14 that's how I lost my virginity. Married at 18 into a forced marriage due to my parents being extremely religious. Divorced my husband 9 months later because he was sadistic. My parents thought I was lying because I was young and didn't want to be married so a cause of that they kicked me out of my own home with just the clothes on my back and let my husband stay in their house. I was homeless and stayed at a shelter for three months.
Over my life course (im 26 now) I have had numerous abusive relationships. Im not bragging but Im stunningly beautiful and have modeled for Gap and American Eagle as well as Victoria Secret. I have no problem finding men in general and seem to receive a lot of attention.
In my own mindset though I constantly have flashbacks of everything that has happened in my life. I give my 100% in anything I do especially relationships and I seem to be taken advantage of and cheated on constantly. I truly feel I am no good for anyone and that I really have no purpose in life.
I decided because we were having a baby that I would talk to him about my past and tell him that I cannot tolerate what he's doing to me or my baby. He said he understood and for two months he didn't contact her. I ended up going through his phone one night and I had already memorized her phone number. I found texts between them and pornographic videos. They were all saved under a guys name so if I glanced over I wouldn't notice she was in the phone.
I lost my baby at 7 months due to a number of problems. I wasn't eating or sleeping. I was constantly crying. It was a lot to handle. I ended up having a placenta abruption.
After loosing my baby he had promised we would work things out and he would be faithful. He moved in with me got a new cellphone number and everything has been going great. I check his phone records (I know that sounds terrible) and I haven't seen any calls between the both of them what so ever.
We are planning on getting married October 13th and my entire family has been invited and so has his. Yesterday his ex texted my phone only to tell me that when he was in town two weeks ago they met up and had lunch together. She also told me that he's been calling her the past two weeks. I confronted him and he denied everything. She explained in detail to me what he was wearing where he was going etc. She told me that he uses a calling card to call her that way I cant check the phone number.
In a nutshell he always seems to find a way to contact her. ESPECIALLY if we are arguing. I feel so low and Im numb. I don't want to let my family down by not going through with the marriage and Im so lost. He doesn't want to be with her but somehow has to keep in touch with her every now and then and it only seems to happen when we are fighting. I know im going to get a reply back to leave him but im just wondering if anyone has EVER experienced someone who's been unfaithful and has changed. Can counseling help.. or should I just end everything and move on. My heart is so broken that I took five sleeping pills last night and prayed to God to help me not wake up. I never write on forums but I just need advice.
Apart from immediately canceling the wedding plans and completely disassociating yourself from this man, the only thing that's going to help is for you to get involved in some serious and very intensive counseling with a reputable therapist. Anything short of this is definitely a path to suicide.
Agree. Do not date or marry anyone until you have been in counseling for at least two years. And interview 4 counselors before you choose one.
Also contact your local woman's shelter for info about support groups. You do not have to handle this alone!
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For those who think this is a troll: I can promise you there are lurkers reading this thread who are in the situation described, IRL. They may not ever post, but you can write replies for them, and try to do some good in the world.
Im not sure where to start but right now im suicidal writing this. My life has been a rough one. I was gang raped at age 14 that's how I lost my virginity. Married at 18 into a forced marriage due to my parents being extremely religious. Divorced my husband 9 months later because he was sadistic. My parents thought I was lying because I was young and didn't want to be married so a cause of that they kicked me out of my own home with just the clothes on my back and let my husband stay in their house. I was homeless and stayed at a shelter for three months.
Over my life course (im 26 now) I have had numerous abusive relationships. Im not bragging but Im stunningly beautiful and have modeled for Gap and American Eagle as well as Victoria Secret. I have no problem finding men in general and seem to receive a lot of attention.
In my own mindset though I constantly have flashbacks of everything that has happened in my life. I give my 100% in anything I do especially relationships and I seem to be taken advantage of and cheated on constantly. I truly feel I am no good for anyone and that I really have no purpose in life.
I decided because we were having a baby that I would talk to him about my past and tell him that I cannot tolerate what he's doing to me or my baby. He said he understood and for two months he didn't contact her. I ended up going through his phone one night and I had already memorized her phone number. I found texts between them and pornographic videos. They were all saved under a guys name so if I glanced over I wouldn't notice she was in the phone.
I lost my baby at 7 months due to a number of problems. I wasn't eating or sleeping. I was constantly crying. It was a lot to handle. I ended up having a placenta abruption.
After loosing my baby he had promised we would work things out and he would be faithful. He moved in with me got a new cellphone number and everything has been going great. I check his phone records (I know that sounds terrible) and I haven't seen any calls between the both of them what so ever.
We are planning on getting married October 13th and my entire family has been invited and so has his. Yesterday his ex texted my phone only to tell me that when he was in town two weeks ago they met up and had lunch together. She also told me that he's been calling her the past two weeks. I confronted him and he denied everything. She explained in detail to me what he was wearing where he was going etc. She told me that he uses a calling card to call her that way I cant check the phone number.
In a nutshell he always seems to find a way to contact her. ESPECIALLY if we are arguing. I feel so low and Im numb. I don't want to let my family down by not going through with the marriage and Im so lost. He doesn't want to be with her but somehow has to keep in touch with her every now and then and it only seems to happen when we are fighting. I know im going to get a reply back to leave him but im just wondering if anyone has EVER experienced someone who's been unfaithful and has changed. Can counseling help.. or should I just end everything and move on. My heart is so broken that I took five sleeping pills last night and prayed to God to help me not wake up. I never write on forums but I just need advice.
So why are you going to marry this guy? Really.
Instead of finding abusive relationships and being miserable, be single and independent. The rest of your life sounds quite remarkable.
OP If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, I strongly encourage you to go to your nearest hospital emergency room for evaluation and treatment. At the very least please consider calling a suicide hotline and talking directly with someone: SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain.
I know it's heartbreaking to face your family with another failed relationship. But it happens. And I've been there done that and so have you - it's way easier to end it now, then have to deal with a difficult and expensive divorce. I assure you, he is not going to stop cheating. What I would suggest is after ending the relationship, working with a good counselor so you can learn more about what a healthy, happy relationship is, and how to chose a partner that you can create one with.
The only thing that is standing in the way of you and a happily ever after ending, is you. Make the right choices now; they will hurt right now, but in the long run it'll be so worth it. Best of luck to you.
Geez you guys, I was accused of trolling when I first started posting, maybe you should try posting a personal message and asking them waiting for their response before you accuse them.
What if she is NOT trolling, and really needs help...really?
OP, you should not have anything more to do with this man. Cancel the wedding (not a big deal. Not as big a deal as going through with what will be a disastrous marriage). Move out or do whatever you have to do to get this guy out of your life. You may have to find a new job, considering that you're working with him.
And get into therapy. Find a therapist that specializes in trauma (they'll mention it in their ads, if they're trained in that field). You need to resolve your trauma and your PTSD before you can proceed with any relationship. You're in a state of emergency. Do not delay in getting help.
I'm starting to think she's trolling, as she posted this thread but hasn't posted anything since.
You're hardly one to accuse another of trolling, especially after what you've gone through on your own thread.
If you don't mind my saying so....
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Really. 
