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A long time ago I was afraid to approach women for two underlying reasons:
I. I didn't have my own place.
II. I didn't have sexual confidence, I thought my tool (PG-13) was inadequate.
The first one was a matter of logistics, which resolved itself quickly once I had my own place without roommates, siblings, or parents.
The second one took cognitive therapy, kegel exercises, and lots of experience to get over. There was a time in my life where I would have given up all my money, my full-time job, all my muscles, above-average face, and the entirety of my social network for a larger tool. I would turn down sexual advances and refuse to flirt or date anyone no matter how strong their signals were because I felt my tool was inadequate. In retrospect, that was very stupid of me.
I got over my shyness, in part, by visualizing myself very intensely as an actor playing a Don Juan type in a movie and then acting out the scene at auditions, known as dates and pick-ups.
A long time ago I was afraid to approach women for two underlying reasons:
I. I didn't have my own place.
II. I didn't have sexual confidence, I thought my tool (PG-13) was inadequate.
The first one was a matter of logistics, which resolved itself quickly once I had my own place without roommates, siblings, or parents.
The second one took cognitive therapy, kegel exercises, and lots of experience to get over. There was a time in my life where I would have given up all my money, my full-time job, all my muscles, above-average face, and the entirety of my social network for a larger tool. I would turn down sexual advances and refuse to flirt or date anyone no matter how strong their signals were because I felt my tool was inadequate. In retrospect, that was very stupid of me.
(1) When I find a woman I'm interested in talking to, it's often somewhere I routinely go to, such as my gym or favorite coffee shop. The consequences of failure are too much in a place like this. For instance, there's a cute girl at my gym and I've always wanted to talk to her. But if she doesn't like me, then she's going to be creeped out every time she sees me at the gym because she'll think I'm stalking her or something. Which leads me to reason (2).
(2) Given reason (1), the only possible context in which I could approach a woman would be after randomly meeting her somewhere, such as a party or the bus stop. At any public place like the bus stop, women say they want to be left alone and not talked to (unless of course the guy looks like Brad Pitt), so that's out of the question. Appropriate places such as a party or bar are places I'm only at once or twice a month, so that's once or twice a month where I'd even have a feasible chance of getting to know a woman. And it's not like there are any attractive single women to begin with.
(3) I'm not confident in how I look. While I have had women who thought I was cute or handsome, they were most likely rare exceptions. If I knew that I was considered good looking to most women, I would have no problem approaching.
(4) It's not like there exist attractive single women. If I want an attractive woman, I'll have to engage in mate poaching, which will involve getting to know a woman at work or something.
I dont because im insecure about my looks and fear and anticipate rejection so i dont bother..
Add in im horrible at talking to approaching strangers so a cold approach is not good for me..
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